Before I had children I thought that boys and girls would  be the same to raise.  That if I treated them the same that the stereotypical gender differences would not be apparent.  My boys would play with dolls, my girls would play with trucks, and we would be gender neutral in all that we did.   I bought gender neutral toys.  I has dolls AND trucks.  I had kitchen sets AND workbenches.  They played with both.  Yet, the gender differences were still there.  Why?

What happened is that I gave birth to actual live children who had minds of their own.  And surprisingly, or not surprisingly according to  this article at CNN, they behaved in stereotypical ways.  And I don’t mean about the toys that they chose to play with, or their level of energy, or their propensity for destruction, it was the ways in which they interact with the world that drew my atttention. 

My daughter likes to talk, about things like her feelings.  She talks about how her friends feel. She also loves the written word and can spend hours just writing notes to people.   This isn’t to say that my sons don’t do these things also, they do.  It is just that  they aren’t done with the same intensity. 

They may sit for hours and draw or color, but usually the words that they chose to write are their names and descriptions of their drawings.  Bubbles coming out of the mouths of their drawings are very popular, especially if they say things like “BURP”  I am not sure that my daughter has ever drawn a picture of something with a noxious cloud coming out of it’s mouth (or butt).

Last summer we were at our local beach and my kids had found other kids to play with.  The boys were digging and splashing and being loud.   The girls were too for a time.  Then one little girl said to my daughter, “Let’s go lay down on our towels and TALK!”  and all the girls were so excited over this idea.  “Yes!  Talk!”

In all my years of parenting I can honestly say that I have never seen boys say to another boy, “Let’s talk!”

We  are in the midst of a new parenting dilemma over here.  My oldest son is on a diet.  This is  not because he is overweight.  Far from it, in fact.  He was three pounds over the upper weight limit for his football team.  Three pounds. 

That doesn’t seem like a lot to lose, but when you are an adolescent boy who lives for eating carbs, it is torture.  And a torture that you must share with every member of your family. 

We gave him the choice.  He could do nothing and not be able to play in any of the games, which makes all of the practices seem like a big waste of time if you ask me.  Or he could cut back on some of the junk he eats and up his exercise.  Either way we let him know that it was his decision. 

It has been very eye opening for him.  This morning our contractor who is working on our house brought over a box of Munchkins for the kids.  My son, like most normal children, loves donuts.  He had his  hand digging into the box when I stopped him and asked if he knew how many calories those munchkins have and in turn how many miles  he would have to run to burn them off.

We looked it up and 4 Munchkins have 300 calories.  I then asked him if he felt like running three miles to burn off those Munchkins.  On top of the two miles he is already running daily.  Is it worth it? 

He decided that it wasn’t worth it.  But not before a whole  lot of moaning and complaining.   He has big plans to catch up on his junk food eating once football season is  over. 

The latest issue of Real Simple Magazine has named HandiPoints as one of their Best for Kids list of Best Parenting Websites.  I have yet to see the issue, but I am going to pick one up next time I am in the store.

All of us have known for a while now how great Handipoints is, but it is nice to have the recognition from a well respected magazine.  Confession time: I LOVE Real Simple.  It is one of my favorite magazines.  I have a weakness for containers, organizers, pretty things.  And lists, I love lists. 

Nursery Rhymes, we all teach them to our kids, just like our parents taught them to us when we were kids.  But do you know the meaning behind most of the nursery rhymes? 

Many nursery rhymes are associated with actual historical events.  The only one that I knew about was Ring around the Rosies which is about the Bubonic Plague that was ravishing Europe during the middle ages. 

Ring around the rosies: refers to the rash that would typically appear at that the onset of the illness

Pocket full of posies: refers to people filling their clothing with sweet smelling flowers and herbs because they believed that disease was carried through bad smells

Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down: refers to cremation

London Bridge is falling down has pretty obvious historical meaning.  The bridge was constantly falling down after catching on fire.  Over the years it was built and rebuilt using better materials of the day.  When it was completely rebuilt in the 1960’s,
the London Bridge of 1831 was transported, stone by stone, to Lake Havasu in Arizona, USA. I had no idea! Did anyone else know this?

Other rhymes I had never heard of their meanings, but isn’t that one of the beauties of the internet? Instant information .  Although,  just because you read it on the internet doesn’t mean it is true.  (I know, like that is a surprise.) Most of the information regarding the historical significance is speculative. 

Humpty Dumpty refers to a cannon? I had  no idea.

The nursery rhyme Jack and Jill has been claimed by a village in Somerset according to one website, but another website which explains that historical context of nursery rhymes, doesn’t agree.

It is interesting to read about the various nursery rhymes, some of which I had forgotten about until I saw them on the list. 

I had an incident with one of  my sons a couple weeks ago where my son was being somewhat rude to his coach.  Rude in that he wasn’t paying attention and was being a jokester.  Just really being an all around pain in the butt.   I was on the sidelines watching it all transpire and was tempted to march over there and tell him to knock it off and pay attention, but really that seemed like it was overstepping my boundaries. 

After a few minutes of it the coach finally got annoyed and sent him to run a lap. 

When practice ended I asked him about it and he felt bad.  He thought he was just having fun and didn’t realize he was getting carried away.  I gave him a talking to about being respectful and left it at that.  With the understanding that if it happened again there would be consequences at home.

I knew he felt contrite because he didn’t ask what the consequences would be.  Don’t you love when kids do that?  Like they are weighing the consequences against whatever it is they could potentially do wrong. Surely my kids aren’t the only ones who ask.

A few years ago I had a different son who got in trouble during practice, the situation was similar except the child in question was old enough to know better.  When he got home I made him write a letter of apology to the coach.   Mostly because I did not want the coach to think I condoned this behavior.  Youth sports are riddled with parents who think that their children are perfect. 

 So what do you do if your child gets “in trouble” with a coach or teacher?  Do you leave it there?  Or do you impose consequences at home also? If you do, what sort of consequences do you impose?

Do you know an elementary school aged boy who wouldn’t want a LEGO cake?  The toyzone has 12 LEGO inspired cakes, some better than others.

If you live in Indiana you might want to check out this baker.  Wow, their cakes are amazing!  I know a certain little princess here who would love a castle cake like the one they made.  Too bad I live a thousand miles or so away from them.  Though they have a tutorial on their website that those  of you who are good bakers could probably follow, unlike me.

One of my older sons saw the photos and has thought of a way he wants to try to make a LEGO cake using a sheet pan and cupcakes.   I have never worked with marzipan, and frankly it scares me a little.  We like our cakes with real icing, thankyouverymuch. 

I love school supplies.  I joke that the reason I homeschool is because I can buy unlimited amounts of paper, pens, pencils, notebooks, sticky pads… because I have a reason to buy them.  Though admittedly even if my kids went  to school I would find a reason to buy school supplies.  Isn’t that why they are called office supplies?  School supplies for grown-ups?

I came across an article in the Reader’s Digest that writes about homemade school supplies.

An article which made me laugh.  Unintentionally.

Tips included:

Instead of using a label maker to write your child’s name on their books, use masking tape and a marker.  Well, hit me upside the head with obvious.  Really?  That is a tip?

Need index cards?  Make your own from paper plates.  What?  Maybe if you only needed ONE index card this might be helpful.  But considering how inexpensive index cards are and how long it would take you to measure and cut up multiple paper plates, this has to be the dumbest idea ever. 

Use a three hole punch to punch holes in a ziploc bag and stick it inside the child’s three ring binder to hold their pencils and pens.  Uh, I love those little bags that they sell for like a DOLLAR for this purpose.  A plastic ziploc bag would never hold up up to the daily use by a kid. 

One of  my favorite tips: use discarded wine and liquor cartons, with the partitions still inside, in your child’s bedroom for storing their “tennis rackets, baseball bats, fishing poles, and such…”  Nothing quite says my parents are alcoholics like decorating your child’s room with a liquor store theme.

Does anyone have some recycling or homemade school supply tips that actually work?

I have one, an obvious one, but I store all the kids colored pencils, markers, crayons, pens etc in tin cans.  I love the way all the tin cans look  all lined up.  I have bought things at the grocery store before based on the size of the can.  I bought some canned fruit that came in a can the PERFECT size to hold crayons.

PBS recently decided to stop airing Mr.Roger’s Neighborhood beginning in September. The show that has been a PBS staple since it began airing in the 1960’s. Along with the televsion show The Electric Company, I fondly remember watching the show as a child. Even my own children have seen Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, though I have to admit that the show was never one of their favorites.

My children wondered the same things about the show that I did. Where was Mr. Roger coming from at the beginning of the show? Why did he have to change into that sweater? Why did he have to put on those sneakers? And they all at one time made jokes about his stinky feet.

Fred Roger has become an icon of children’s television. His calm, soft voice comforted and educated a generation of children. The show reminds us all of a simpler time, before the unlimited cartoons of the cable television era. We all believed him that he wanted to be our neighbor. That he wanted a neighbor just like us.

A campaign is underway to try and get PBS to reconsider. Save Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood is a grassroots campaign started by a concerned parent, Brian Linder.

How can you help the cause? For one, you can write to your local PBS affiliate and ask them to keep showing Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood on the local level. Contact PBS Headquarters. You can join Mr. Roger’s virtual neighborhood on Facebook.

One of the most difficult things I have discovered about parenting an older kid, tweens and teens, is the “But everyone else is allowed to do it!”  Because  you know what?  There are so many kids out there who have parents that allow them to do things that are completely inappropriate and I just don’t get it.  

Saying no to your children is not a bad thing. I wish some parents would learn to do it.   Especially when it comes to movies that have age guidelines.  Use those guidelines in your favor.  My kids fully know that they will not be watching any PG-13 movies because - imagine that- they are NOT 13!   And they don’t even bother to ask about rated R movies.  Now, this does not stop them from complaining, but that is  fine.  It is my job to set the limits and their job to complain about them.

I read in USA Today about a study that revealed just how  many 10-14 year olds are seeing the graphically violent movies.  And yet we wonder as a society why our children are becoming increasingly violent and why they seem to have a lack of respect for life.  I know  that there are some movies that have had images that have disturbed me and stayed with me, and I am an adult!  Those are not the sort of things I want to fill my children’s heads with. 

In the study, more than one in three children said their parents let them watch R-rated movies “sometimes” or “all the time.” Even among kids who said their parents never let them watch such movies, 22.6% had seen at least one. Those are huge numbers.

Previous studies have found violent media can increase aggression and desensitize to real violence, and many violent films are marketed during kids’ TV shows.

This is something that makes me crazy.  During programming for children or families there are ads for movies and television shows that are NOT for children. 

Take the latest Batman movie.  From all accounts that I have read it is not a movie for little kids.  And yet I keep hearing about people I know bringing their elementary school aged children to see this movie.  My kids have been begging me to bring them to see the movie and I have turned them down.  It is sad that a superhero move which should be acceptable for kids is not. 

One my last plane ride I left my sunglasses behind.  I lose them frequently so this was not surprising.  It is also why I buy inexpensive sunglasses.   I had a pair of expensive sunglasses once.  Once being the key word there.

I read that laptops are one of the frequently left behind items at the airport.  I thought, ‘How in the world do you forget your laptop?’ 

But then I read this news article last week, and thought, ‘How in the world do you forget your child?’

I try not to be judgemental of other parents, because heaven knows that there have been times I have felt the judgement  of other parents who don’t really have a clue of what is going on.  But come on!  How can you get all the way on the plane, settle into your seats, take off, and STILL not notice that one your little children is missing?  And  have to have the pilot inform you over the loud speaker that someone has found your child wandering around the airport?  Wouldn’t the empty seat clue you in that someone was missing? 

I have made it a habit to count my children over and over again in public situations.  It is like a neurosis now.  Not sure what I will do when my children are all grown.  Maybe have panic attacks in public for no reason?

Sure, I have had kids wander off over the years.  When my oldest son was about three, he liked to run away from me and he got lost in Walmart one day and they had to do a Code Adam, which just about killed me.  But I didn’t leave the store and get all the way home without noticing he wasn’t with me.

When we are in the airport or walking through anywhere that is crowded, one of us will be in the lead holding the hand or hands of  younger children, and one of us will be in the rear,  holding a hand.  The parent in the front is responsible for blazing the trail the parent in the back is in charge of making sure that no one wanders off. 

Can you imagine forgetting your child like this?