2007 June | Mommy Points

June 29, 2007

The Importance of Saving

Filed under: Allowance, Saving — Chris @ 10:47 pm

Linda left a comment in this post about encouraging her children to save their allowance by matching the money they put into their savings account. Sort of like a matching 401K plan that most corporations offer their employees. I like this idea.

I do wonder though if there are restrictions of how long the money must be saved in order to earn the match. What if they put it in their savings account and then withdraw it 3 weeks later? What do you do?

Linda, inquiring minds would like to know!

I think this comment stood out with me also because I have been discussing savings account interest, investments, the stock market, etc with my children. Trying to get them to understand why these options are superior to hiding a wad of bulls under their mattress.

I have been looking various books online and reading the reviews.

Description from amazon:
This newly updated edition of Growing Money answers every question a budding investor might ask: How do you read stock pages? What’s the difference between stocks and bonds? Why do stocks go up and down? How can I keep track of investments? Can kids invest?

I think that I could use some of these questions answered more clearly for myself too!

This book seems to be alone the same vein. All about saving, spending and investing.

This book is geared for younger kids.

So do you have any books that you recommend to teach children about saving and investing? I think I am going to hit our local library tomorrow and see if they have any of these books or any others that I might not have heard about. I’ll let you know if I find anything that inspires me.

Comments (2)

June 27, 2007

Creating a Reward Chart for Your Children

Filed under: Basics, Making It Work, using handipoints — Chris @ 10:02 am

So now you have your chore and behavior charts all set up. Now what?

Create a reward chart for your children.

You will see a tab between Tasks and Bonus on each child’s account that says Rewards. Click on it and you will pull up the Reward options.

Click on New Goal.

Create New Reward.

Now you have the option of adding new goals and rewards that are customized specifically for your child. Not only that but you are able to assign the handipoint value for the reward. Here you can see I added Go to the movies as a reward with a handipoint value of ten.

Right below the Create a New Reward on the page is Popular Rewards with a drop down menu alongside of it.

The first is allowance. Here you are able to set the handipoint to allowance dollar ratio. (Please note that you should click the My Account link to configure the default point amounts for all reward catalog items. This will simplify your set-up.)

If you click on Family Fun, you will get the options of making an ice cream sundae, going for a bike ride, having a picnic, and remember you can add whatever rewards are appropriate for your family.

Click through the rest of the categories and see what you think will inspire and motivate your child.

After setting this up, click on the goals tab. here you will see a list of the various goals that you and your child have decided upon. You can track their progress in earning those rewards.

Once they have earned enough handipoints, your child will “buy” or redeem their reward.

By clicking on the Bought tab you will see what rewards are awaiting your approval. Purchasing the rewards through the sponsored link will help support Handipoints as a free site. (Amazon almost always has the best prices on everything anyway.)

When you click on the Approved tab , you will see a list of all rewards that you have approved (there is a handy monthly drop down so you can track over the long term) as well as an accounting of the points that your child has left.

Also note that there is a print certificate button. When you click on that you will have a certificate to award your child. Nice for them to have to hang on to while they wait for their reward to arrive, or if it is something like go to the movies, or play mini-golf, or eat an ice cream sundae, they can hand it to you on the occasion making them feel as though they really are “paying” for the reward with their hard earned work.

Any other questions about setting up and using a reward chart? How is the system working for you?

Comments (4)

June 26, 2007

A Day In Numbers

Filed under: Just For Fun — Chris @ 8:45 pm

92 degrees outside

8 towels

1 blanket

2 coolers

8 bathing suits

1 umbrella

6 pails

7 shovels

14 sandwiches

1 gluten-free, egg-free, dairy-free lunch for myself

1 beach chair

2 swim diapers

1 bottle of sunscreen

2 beach bags of snacks

3 trips to the van to pack it all up

30 minute drive

4 hours of splashing sandy fun

3- number of sandwiches dropped in the sand

20 gazillion- the number of times I tell people to stop walking across the blanket

30 minute drive home

5 trips to bring it all inside from the van

20 gazillion-the number of times I tell people to stop dumping sand out inside the house

576 pounds- the weight of the towels now that they are wet and sandy

1- number of pails that didn’t make it home

20- number of times I will be asked before dinnertime if we can go to the beach again tomorrow

20- number of times I will say, “We’ll see.”

50-50 the odds that I mean yes

Comments (1)

June 25, 2007

Rediscovering a Bedtime Ritual

Filed under: Ages 2-4 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ideas — Chris @ 2:32 am

When my oldest children were small, we had a definite bedtime routine. It was something that we all looked forward to, including me. And not just because it meant they were all going to bed and I could finally relax before going to bed myself and beginning the madness that is a several children who can not do a single thing for themselves.

It was a time to reconnect and let everything that had happened during the day slip away. It is hard to be exasperated by a toddler in jammies, whose head smells like baby shampoo. It is actually more difficult not to take a bite out of their adorable freshly scrubbed cheeks. Somehow all the tantrums, coloring on the walls, food throwing, or what have you seemed unimportant in those minutes before bed.

We would all snuggle into into one of their beds and I would read stories. Sometimes one or two, sometimes several, depending on the evening. I have fond memories of working my way through a Mother Goose nursery rhyme book with my oldest two. I would do different voices depending on the rhyme. They still laugh when they recite :

Fee Fi Fo Fum
I smell the blood of an Englishman
be he alive
or be he dead
I’ll crush his bones
To make me bread.

Ah yes, those loving and nurturing nursery rhymes. I am not sure why, but this particular nursery rhyme requires that you talk in a low grovely voice with an English accent. You know those English are known for being cannibals.

Thankfully most of the nursery rhymes were a bit less disturbing. If one can call locking one’s wife inside of a pumpkin shell or whipping your children soundly before bed not disturbing.

As time passed though, and our lives got more hectic, we moved away from the bedtime routine. Evenings became a stressful time of juggling the often conflicting needs of different aged children.

Recently I decided to reinstate the bedtime stories with my youngest two children, ages 2 and 4. With several older siblings I have found they seldom have time geared just for them. And when they do, they eat it up. I told the older children that I would be doing bedtime stories with the two youngest. Surprisingly on any given night quite a few of them will wander into my room to listen. Even if they are pretending they are not listening and it was just happenstance they came by my bedroom at that specific time.

The older ones will reminisce about hearing the bedtime stories when they were little, like it was eons ago. I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by. To me it was just yesterday my eleven and twelve year olds were the toddlers snuggled with me, as cliche as that might sound.

In the process, I have rediscovered some of my favorite bedtime stories. These have been on heavy rotation the past couple of weeks.

This is a board book, which is perfect for toddler hands. My two year old loves this book. It might have something to do with the fact that I allow him to jump on the bed while I read it.

This is another board book with rhyming text that any parent will have committed to memory after a few readings. This one has been a hit in our house this past week after we spotted a brown bear of our very own in our yard. YIKES! We have also had fun with this book by adlibbing our own text.

I love this story and not just because I have seven children. It is one of those books that appeals to the harried mother in all of us. The illustrations are perfect and the children find new things in each page that capture their attention.

My four year old daughter is at the age where she is obsessed with princesses. I find it painful, to put it mildly. Even though for her it is all about the costumes and accessories, the message behind some of the stories bothers me. This story is the perfect antidote to all the ones of princess who need to be rescued.

What about you? Do you have any bedtime stories that are being read over and over again at your house?

Comments (8)

June 22, 2007

Should Allowance be Tied To Chores

Filed under: Allowance, Basics, Children, Chores, Making It Work — Chris @ 10:28 am

Boy, this is a tough one isn’t it. Even the experts don’t agree on this.

On the one hand, we are all a family, a team, and we should all work together as one to keep things running smoothly. No one gets paid for doing nothing.

On the other hand, don’t kids need some sort of motivation for doing the chores? Should children be responsible for chores without being paid for their services?

On the other , other hand (why yes, I do have more than two hands I am a mother after all) maybe there is a middle ground.

In my house allowance is not directly tied to chores. For several reasons, not the least of which is I don’t want my children thinking that chores are something they can opt out of by relinquishing their allowance. Not likely to happen when your children are young and not able to earn any extra money from other sources, but once they get older it could be a real possibility.

Do you want your 16 yr old coming to you and saying, “Thanks, but you can just keep your $8.”

At my house you aren’t allowed to just NOT do your chores, whatever they might be. You will do them or nothing else will happen until they are completed. And completed in an acceptable manner.

Frankly, I also don’t want the hassle of deducting money from their allowance for every infraction.

But by using the handipoints system, you can assign points that are not tied to an allowance. You can assign points to each chore and then grade your child’s performance on the point system. You can give bonus points if a job is exceptionally well done, or take away points if it was not done well. And they can use these points for the bonus rewards I discussed the other day. This seems like the perfect compromise to me.

I know other people do tie their allowance to chores. And their reasons seem logical to me as well. That in the real world people are paid for jobs they do and do well. And if that system works for you, great!

Comments (4)

June 20, 2007

The Importance of Giving

Filed under: Allowance, Instilling Values, Kindness Of Spirit, Saving — Chris @ 8:52 am

It was my son’s birthday this weekend. With seven kids we don’t need to have big fancy parties. We are our own party.

We have some traditions that we carry out with every birthday. The first of which is a treasure hunt. I make up silly rhymes, write them on index cards and hide them. The kids go running en masse from one room to another room finding the next clue until they reach the presents.

It makes the presents fun for everyone.

Just like at Christmas, I encourage the children buy the birthday child presents at the dollar store. It is amazing how many fun things they find there without breaking any sort of budget. They use their own allowance money to do it and that helps them to really take ownership of the shopping, thinking what the other person might enjoy.

(To my daughter: No, I don’t think he would like to have a set of sparkly lip gloss. I realize the Disney princesses are on the label. Are you confusing what you want with what he might want?)

My son got a huge box of bubble gum, a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game, a dart gun, a pack of Spiderman pens, ring pops, and a deck of cards. He loved them all probably as much as the high priced presents I bought him.

The fact that his siblings picked the presents out for him makes him feel special.

And the fact that they bought their brother presents with money they earned themselves, makes all of them feel special too.

Comments (3)

June 19, 2007

Pulled From the Comments, a Question About Allowance

Filed under: Ages 2-4 years, Ages 5-6 years, Allowance, Children, Ideas, Saving — Chris @ 9:21 am

Jodi left this comment in this post and I thought it was worthy of pulling out for a post of it’s own.

Do your younger children understand the concept of the “bankstatement”? We are doing handipoints with 5 and 6 year old boys and I don’t know if they will understand the concept of the paper being tied to a sum of money. We too have decided that half of their age is perfect, but have “strongly encouraged” that a certain amount be saved and a certain amount be for charity. What age do you start allowance…just curious…as we have a 2 year old son also:)

Jodi

All of my children get an allowance.

Yes, even the two year old. Though for him it is just about being part of the group. I talk about his allowance and he see his “statement” but I am sure he is clueless. Happy, but essentially clueless.

My 4, 6 and 8 yr olds do understand. We explained to them that it is just like the bank mommy and daddy use. The paper tells them how many dollars they have saved. We meticulously track it all on their statements.

I think this is one of the ways that handipoints excels, frankly. For children who are young, you might want to decide on a percentage for them to spend on rewards or allocate handipoints in addition to the allowance money. I don’t have my children contribute a portion of their allowance to charity. I prefer to have them do service oriented charity works, where they can see the direct results of their hard work. But that is just me.

With young children it is important to have smaller goals for them to achieve so they don’t get discouraged. My 11 yr old is perfectly happy and capable to save his money for months on end to make a large purchase. He is also capable of deciding to make smaller purchases along the way, knowing exactly how that will impact his account total. I still have to give final approval for all purchases, though I find at this age I rarely have to say no.

Think of the younger years as working towards this goal. You want them to be responsible. But in order to learn responsibility you need to allow them some freedom. If you turn down every item they want to purchase, they will not believe you that there really is money but more importantly they will never have that feeling of post purchase anxiety. You know the one where you realize you just wasted your money on something you really don’t want afterall.

For example, for younger children you might decide that having a family movie night every Friday night would be fun for your family. Everyone can stay up an hour late, watch a movie in the tv room with popcorn. This could cost 7 handipoints, a handipoint a day that is earned for doing daily chores. (This is just an example, you can use whatever feels right for your family… a family hike, a day at the beach, making huge ice cream sundaes and eating them for dinner. Try to do something fun and inexpensive (or better yet, free!) and don’t forget to add some variety so it doesn’t become expected but instead is anticipated.)

By using handipoints they can track their progress toward some of the non monetary goals.

I’ll admit that I frequently ask my children to help with an extra project to get a reward like one of these pictured above. I might say something like, “Hey, if you all help me with washing windows, I would be all caught up on Spring Cleaning and I think we could have extra time to go to the museum on Friday.” I have yet to have someone turn me down.

Comments (1)

June 16, 2007

Welcome.

Filed under: Basics, Making It Work — Chris @ 9:26 am

Hello, my name is Chris and welcome to the handipoints blog.

What would you like to know about me?

I married my trophy husband straight out of graduate school, gave birth to seven children… yes, seven. We own a historic old house that we are in the process of rescuing from a century of neglect and bad taste. In my spare time I drool over the Pottery Barn catalog and carry paint swatches around in my pocketbook the way other people carry photos of their children.

I am an artist and a writer and an organizational freak. If I can put it in a container or a basket, I will.

I hate to cook.

I refuse to iron.

And frequently wonder if fashion designers make a line of clothing as a joke. Leggings — because…?

According to some people I may have married I have an unhealthy love of shoes. A love which I have passed on to my only daughter.

So, why I am writing for this blog?

More than anything I want a harmonious home. I don’t want to nag my children. I want them to be respectful, understand the value of hard work, and not have a sense of entitlement from which I see so many children suffer.

And why are you here reading?

Are you looking for a way to motivate your children to do chores without having to nag them constantly? Are you looking for a way to set up chore charts easily? Are you looking for something that appeals to both you and your children?

I am going to take this space to answer some of the very basic questions that people ask when they first hear about Handipoints.

What is Handipoints?

Handipoints is an online system for parents and children to use together. Parents can set up individual chore and behavior lists for each child in the family. The lists are completely customizable to suit your needs as are the rewards, or allowance, that each individual child receives.

Children can track their progress, review their chore lists, and watch their points add up as they work toward their reward.

Chores? Do my children really need to be doing chores?

I think so. In our house the family is a team. We work together to get things done.

Children take pride in helping. It helps them have healthy self-esteem, not to mention that having an allowance helps children learn to manage money. No one is suggesting you shackle your children to the radiator and make them scrub the bathroom tile with a toothbrush.

You can also use Handipoints as incentives for good behavior, which is always much more effective than punishing for bad behavior. Add something to their lists like: “Caught being helpful to a sibling,” or “Showing extraordinary kindness.” This gives you a way of rewarding them and letting them know that even small things don’t go unnoticed.

Comments (8)

June 11, 2007

Conversation With A Four Year Old

Filed under: Ages 2-4 years, Ages 5-6 years, Humor Keeps Me Sane — Chris @ 11:53 pm

“Mom, I think it is kind of scary growing up.”

“You do? Why?”

“Well what if you make a really really bad mistake.”

“What kind of mistake are you worried about?”

“Well, what if I am a grown up and I am driving in my car and I push a button by mistake and run somebody over. Then I’d be in trouble even though it was a mistake and I’d have to go to jail.”

“You really worry about this?”

“Yes. I don’t want to go to run anybody over.”

“Well, when you get old enough you can take driving lessons and learn how to drive. The you will know what all the buttons do.”

“Okay. That is great!”

A few moments of silence pass.

“Do you know what else I am scared about?”

“I couldn’t even imagine”

“I am scared that I won’t be able to do fun things when I get old.”

“What kind of fun things?”

“I don’t like that I can’t climb trees when I am a grown up.”

“You can climb trees when you are a grown up.”

“Well, not old like you and Dad.”

“Dad and I can climb trees.”

“The why don’t you?”

“Because we don’t want to.”

“That makes me very sad that one day I won’t want to climb a tree. I mean, why would I not want to climb a tree?”

Guess what I did this afternoon.

Comments (4)

June 7, 2007

Carefree Summer Days… or Not

Filed under: Basics, Children, Chores, Ideas, Instilling Values, Making It Work, Work Ethic — Chris @ 11:07 pm

How do you strike a balance between summertime fun and the work that needs to be done in order for the house and family to survive?

I have found that with a little advanced preparation the balance is less of a struggle to maintain.
It was definitely easier when my children were younger. Letting laundry go for a week when it was 5 or 6 loads was not as big of a deal as it is now with 25-30 loads, because I now have more kids who insist on growing and now have bigger clothes.

Planning ahead for meals was not a big deal when 4 slices of bread, a bit of peanut butter, and one sliced apple could be a meal in a pinch. This morning I took out a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread and was wondering what I could serve with it to stretch it since I knew it wouldn’t be enough. And my kids are mostly young still, I fear for the future.

All of this means that in order for us to have an enjoyable summer we have to be even more organized as a team. More organized than we usually are, a level I describe as organized chaos. No one likes to go out for a day at the beach and come home to a messy house, or far worse, according to my children, nothing to eat.

In the winter months I am rather lax with meal planning. Sure I have a list of potential meals for the week, but not for specific days. And often I’ll decide to make things that aren’t on the list instead. But we tend to hibernate in the winter, and I can peruse the refrigerator and freezer until something strikes my fancy.

When I am planning meals for the week during the summer, however, I think about what we are going to be doing for the week.

Do I need cold cuts for sandwiches to take to the beach? Sandwiches on hard rolls seem to withstand the most abuse in the cooler. Peanut butter and jelly on regular bread is never eaten. My children prefer to complain mightly about their hunger pangs rather than eat soggy jelly bread. Can’t say I blame them.

Do I want some snack size chip bags? My older kids hate the way the younger ones put their sandy hands into the bag, so when we go to the beach I always buy single serving size.

Are we planning a day trip somewhere that would have us arriving home right at dinner time? Should I do a crock pot dinner or make a cold pasta salad to go along with something grilled quickly?

And so as much as my children think the summer should be filled with hour after hour of leisure time, ostensibly recovering from their overburdened work filled school year, they are put to work for the greater good. Do they complain? Sometimes more than others..

“You can either help me. Or you can sit around while I do everything. And by the time I finish doing everything we might not have anytime left to do the fun things. or I might be too tired to drive you anywhere. Your choice.”

And probably it is no surprise that when I put it like that, they decide to pitch in, even unasked.

As a result our summer days feel long, lazy, and carefree.

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