We had a huge snow, turned rain, turned slush, turned frozen wasteland st0rm come through this past week.
It was really awful to deal with. Shoveling slush, because the snowblower can’t handle it, is heavy and back breaking work. My 13 and 10 yr old sons helped me (Not to self: Buy more shovels so more people can help.)
I had offered anyone who helped double their allowance for the week. They were the only two who took me up on it. We were out there for well over two hours. It was pretty hellish, if hell were a rainy frozen wasteland, which it just might be. We were completely drenched all the way through our coats and gloves.
We called it quits when we had half of the driveway done. It is a horseshoe shape so cars still would be able to drive in and out on one side.
The next day we went to leave and our van was frozen to the driveway. My 13 yr old son had to get the ice chopper and chop the ice from around the tires. I was worried he was going to puncture one of the tires, but he didn’t . And then he had to help push the car while I floored it in reverse.
When we arrived home hours later, I parked the van far down the driveway so that it wouldn’t get stuck again. I went inside with the kids, I was carrying all the stuff. A little while later I looked outside and noticed my 13 yr old diligently chiseling ice from the driveway. Without even being asked. Or my having mentioned it.
And for this I rewarded him with an extra $20 in his allowance this week. Without being asked. Without mentioning it.
I don’t do things like that often so it is always a surprise. No one expects it.
Now I’ll just try to remember this the next time he gives me the teenage eye roll.
At what age did you start allowance? Mine are 4 and 2. In your universe I’d give $ to my 4 yo, what about the 2 yo? What happens when 4 yo wants to spend his money and 2 yo doesn’t have any? Argh, the complications … right now no one gets anything
Well, my 3 and 4 year old children do get an allowance, but mostly it is because they have older siblings and we didn’t want them to feel left out. When my oldest children were that age they didn’t get an allowance. I really didn’t even consider it.
Having said that, since we do not give cash, but rather put the money into a bank account, I don’t see any reason not to start. We also put any birthday or holiday money they get from friends and relatives into their accounts. My kids have loved seeing the balance grow.
I encourage long term saving. We do not run out every week with fists full of dollar bills looking for things on which to spend money. Being able to see that one weeks worth of chores gets them x number of dollars. They are able to figure out how many weeks of chores they will need to do to earn enough money for an item they want. Funny how suddenly having to do chores for a month to get a toy, usually makes the toy less desirable.
Isn’t that one of our goals as parents to raise discerning consumers?
Oh there are so many differing schools of thought on allowance. Whether or not it should be tied to chores, just given freely, or even if it should be given at all.
I think that having a small amount of money is helpful in teaching them how to budget and save for things.
At my house allowance isn’t directly tied to chores. Each child gets half of their age in dollars each week. So my 13 year old get $6.50 while my 4 year old gets $2. It is their money free and clear, to do (mostly) whatever they desire with it. I do sometimes say no, but that is mostly with the littler kids who would like to spend every cent they have on candy. My older children have been very good about saving their money for things that they really want.
If I ask them to do special chores that are above and beyond the scope of their normal activity I will sometimes offer a monetary incentive. In the fall when we were doing the endless leave cleaning up, I offered $5 for anyone who would help. I was out there doing it with them.
My oldest two sons will also do small amounts of babysitting for me. I never pay them for this, but will bring them home an occasional treat, like a couple tins of Altoids or a special coffee or hot chocolate from Dunkin’ Donuts. Just a little something that shows them that I appreciate them. I think when all is said and done that is what most of us want, children or adults, is to be recognized and appreciated.
Doing one of their chores.
Every weekend the boys carry bags of wood pellets into the house so that when we need them on a daily basis we don’t have to go outside to get them. These bags are heavy, about 40 lbs each, so it isn’t an easy chore. But there is something about carrying heavy things that makes them feel important. I am not sure if this is only a boy thing, since my daughter is only 4 years old, but if I say something is heavy I suddenly have more helpers than I need offering their help.
Yesterday morning I was driving and one of the morning shows on the radio was talking about a newly released study that revealed that people find their spouses more irritating over time. I have to admit that it made me laugh. Because is this news?
I always say that if you find anything irritating about a person you shouldn’t marry them. Because over time the things that you used to love about someone will be the things that annoy you. My husband used to love that I was not an obsessive planner like he was, that I would just fly by the seat of my pants. Now, 15 years later, my attitude frequently irritates him. ‘But what is your plan?’ he will frequently moan.
I remind him frequently that this is just the beauty of me.
And of course there are other things, all equally as small, like the fact that my husband can not eat dinner unless everything is in serving bowls and all the cooking dishes and utensils are washed. He is a big fan of wash as you go. I am a big fan of you are all lucky I made dinner and why do I need to put food in a serving dish when I can scoop it out of the cookware just as easily.
The study also said that people in their 20s and 30s reported to be the most irritated with their spouses. This makes sense to me since it is the time of life when you most likely have young children and are working on establishing careers.
Obviously none of the things I mention are earth shattering. But if you were to have asked me 15 years ago if I found my spouse irritating I would have answered a resounding no. Now, I would say of course he is sometimes irritating. But I would say it with a laugh. And I think that laughter is probably the most important part.
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Today I went to vote. I only brought my daughter with me this time, bringing everyone early in the morning is too much for the senior citizens to handle I fear.
What are you teaching your children about the election process?
I found this website where I printed off the easy to understand explanation of the process. Because it is sort of confusing isn’t it? The caucuses, the electoral college, the states that are winner takes all versus the states that divide the delegates. So many things to learn about and discuss.
The other night my oldest son was listening to my husband and I debate, in a friendly way, mostly. And he said something to the effect of what is the point if you aren’t happy with any of the people.
We then had a great discussion about what is wonderful about our system. And the fact that we can argue about it all, and disagree with each other, and publicly say that we disagree with each other, is a beautiful thing. We explained to him what it would be like to live somewhere where you had no voice.
We will be tuning in to our television tonight. It is an exciting time. And I think as adults we sometimes forget that.
