I know that technically it is not summer yet. And some of you who are living in cooler climates are probably cursing my sunshine and warm temperatures. Trust me, I understand. I would be cursing me too.
However, is there anything that screams, “It is summer!” more than running through a sprinkler in the front yard?
I’m not sure that there is. And for the record, I ran through it a few times myself. I, however, did so in my clothing so as not to scare the entire neighborhood.
The NY Times recently had an article exploring what the appropriate age is to leave children home alone. Anyone who is a parent has faced this dilemma and I can honestly say that it is the number one thing I have conversations about with other parents of tweens. Hushed conversations, because this topic is so divisive. One friend wouldn’t leave her child home alone until he was 14, while yet another friend allows her 8 yr old to arrive home to an empty house every afternoon for a couple hours until she gets home from work. Both feel as though the other is judging their decision.
As for me I sort of shrug. Both seem slightly extreme to me, but who am I to judge each individual circumstance?
I spent every afternoon home alone when I was a child from the time I was in third grade. And by the time I was in seventh grade I spent my summers and school breaks home alone. I lived on the beach and was allowed to go there everyday. Something I am certain I would not feel comfortable allowing my 13 yr old to do.
As far as my children staying home alone, or babysitting siblings, I have broken them in slowly. Leaving them for short periods of time and gradually increasing the time. I have also discovered that personalities play a huge role rather than strictly age. My oldest son rules the house in absence with an iron fist. He is the rule enforcer. There will be no fun under his watch. I am exaggerating of course, but when I return home after leaving him in charge the house is tidy, everyone is quietly doing something like watching tv, and any snacks or food that were eaten were explicitly served by him.
My next oldest son, who is just one year younger, is all about having fun. He is the one who will think nothing of baking brownies or cupcakes with his siblings to entertain them. And leave every single baking utensil I own laying out in the kitchen. There will have been elaborate games played and toys will be everywhere.
Both of them are great with their siblings, but they do so very differently. And both of their styles are okay. I was slightly more worried about my younger son but then one day we had a kitchen fire while I was home and cooking and he was the one who ran for the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.
I have to wonder if the economy has caused parents to leave their children, who are right on the cusp of their comfort zone, home alone because they can not afford a babysitter or summer camp.
On the NYT parenting blog, Motherlode, Lisa Belkin asks, “At what age would you let your child…?”
She then poses a list of questions to ponder.
Among them,
stay in the car while you run an errand?
go on a date?
see a PG-13 movie?
babysit for the neighbor’s children?
How do you feel about this? Do you have any hardfast rules about what ages your children need to be before they can do certain things or have certain privileges? Did you have any hardfast rules that you reconsidered? And if so, why did you reconsider?
Kids giving you trouble doing their homework? How about you shackle them with a ball and chain?
Parents program in the desired amount of time they they think their children need to study and then attach the more than 20lb ball to their child’s leg. Once the time limit expires the ball unlocks. The manufacturer says that the ball cannot be locked on for more that four (!!??!!) hours and that it comes with a key so that parents can unlock it at any time should the need arise.
Ummm, seriously? Who thought this would be a good idea?
Do we really want our children to associate studying and learning with punishment?
I have to say that if you are resorting to this sort of tactic to get your children to do their homework you might need to rethink your overall parenting strategy.
Do you remember how you learned to swim? I vaguely remember being terrified of the water, to the point where I wouldn’t go above my ankles and would spend all the time in the pool sitting on the steps. I wanted to go into the deep end and jump off of the diving boards, but I was too afraid.
When I was about 8 yrs old my mother signed me up for some intensive private swimming lessons. I think I did two sessions, so about 12 weeks, and that was it. I was swimming.
My older kids have taken swimming lessons at a local pond. Lessons which I think proved rather worthless. They have eventually learned to swim, though not with any sort of form. As my oldest son says, “I swim well enough to save myself, but I would never swim across a lake for fun.”
We have now moved to a place where swimming in pools happens every day for the entire spring, summer, and fall. I am hoping that my children who can already swim will perfect their skills and be even more proficient. I mean it is bound to happen, right? And my younger kids are going to be signed up for daily lessons this summer. I really wish that had been available when my oldest children were younger. The only game in town we had was the YMCA which was ridiculously expensive.
What about you? Have you given your children formal swim lessons from an early age? Do you think that there is a perfect time to begin them? I have seen lots of parents with babies and Mom-n-Me lessons and wonder if I should have started long ago.
1) Their clothes are as big (or bigger!) as yours.
2) When you see them without shoes on you have zero desire to coo about how adorable their feet are. And even less desire, if that is possible, to munch on their toes.
3) Ditto for blowing raspberries on their chubby bellies. And not just because their bellies are no longer chubby.
4) You no longer reach for their hand when you cross the street. Nor do you remind them to look both ways when they cross.
5) They no longer think you are the coolest person ever, or at least they don’t show it.
6) They would prefer that you drop them off places a block away.
7) Similarly, when you are out shopping they walk at least 20 paces behind you and pretend they don’t know you. Because clearly they are there shopping alone. Don’t all young teens grocery shop by themselves?
You talk about college plans and panic realizing just how little time that is. And how little money you actually have saved.
9) You buy a cartful of snack foods at the grocery store thinking that it will last you for a week only to discover your children ate it all in a single day.
We have been working on this already. This is our first year in Texas. The Texas heat is already here giving the illusion that summer is also. And no, I don’t want to hear about how much hotter it is going to get. Nope, don’t want to hear it. I am plugging my ears.
La la la. I can’t hear you.
1) Water balloon fight with the neighbors. We did this yesterday afternoon and it was so much fun. All I had to supply was a bag of water balloons and the hose. The kids did the rest. A wee bit of advice, buy way more balloons than you think you will ever possibly need. Because you know what? There is never enough. I bought a package of them at Target, 100 balloons for $1. You really can’t go wrong at that price.
2)Ice cream sundae party. Invite some of your kid’s friends over on a Friday night after dinner. Set out all the fixin’s and let them make their own. Alternately, have everyone bring a topping of their choice and have a sort of pot-luck make your own sundae party.
3) Invest in an old fashioned sprinkler or slip-n-slide. I really want a slip-n-slide for myself. I remember how much fun they were when I was a kid.
4) Plant a small container garden.
5) Catch some critters and keep them as pets for a short time. Read about them. Learn what they eat. What their natural habitats are. Then release them back from where they came. For the record, I am talking about critters like frogs, turtles, etc. One year we hatched tadpoles and that was amazing. Right now we are nursing an injured turtle back to health.
6) Find a grassy hill and roll down it. Alternately photogrpah your children rolling down the hill.
7) Find shapes in clouds.
Buy a book on constellations. Go out to an open field at night, away from the lights of the city or suburbia. Look in the sky for the various constellations. Read some of the ancient myths after which the constellations are named.
9) Go to a minor league baseball game. There are stadiums everywhere and it is a great time. It is much less expensive than going to a major league game. Eat hot dogs, cotton candy, and perfect “doing the wave.” Even if you are not die-hard baseball fans, there is something magical about being in a stadium. Also, can you ever see you children do the chicken dance to organ music enough? Nope, you can not.
10) Read a book in a hammock.
Soon enough the lazy days of summer will be gone.
Well for me, its video games, they will do anything for a new one, i wish they clung to the family more, i think that they have decided their TV screen is their safe haven, i have been trying to tell them to get off that box every once in a while and go take a walk, or play in the park, but they seem to be addicted to it. Any suggestions
I decided to pull this comment out from a recent post. I think many of us face this dilemna with our children, trying to find the balance. I can remember when I was a child growing up, way back in the olden days, my mother was always telling me to go outside and get some fresh air. So this is not a new problem, it is just that the advent of cable television, computers, and video games has made the lure of staying inside that much stronger.
Here is where I will say something that won’t make me popular. In my house I am the parent and I make the rules. If I don’t like what is going on in my house there is no one to change it but me. it is my responsibility. If my kids are spending too much time in front of the tv or playing video games, the answer is for me to turn it off. To not be afraid of saying no.
How many of us as adults have been sucked into our computers only to emerge a few hours later, blurry eyed and wondering if we really just spent those hours watching you tube videos of Land of the Lost, Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, and assorted music videos from the 80’s. Not that I have any first hand knowledge of that, ahem.
But my point is that even as adults that know better, we sometimes have trouble finding a balance. Our children need our guidance.
Set a good example. Be a role model. Want your children to go outside? Go outside with them. Go to a park. Take a walk. Ride a bike. My little kids love it when I ride one of their scooters around the neighborhood with them. I may look ridiculous, but they love it.
Set time limits. Yes, you can play your beloved video games. But there are rules. Same with television viewing. Decide what is right for you and your family and don’t be afraid to stick to it. Yes, there will be whining and complaining. But once you get past that it will be better.
Try having a family game night. Spend time together doing something you love. Maybe your family is artsy and you’d all enjoy creating artwork together. Or playing board games or cards. Do you enjoy cooking? I don’t know any chidlren who don’t like dessert. Maybe have one night a week where your children are responsible for creating a delicous dessert for the family. (Personally, I really like this idea and may have to begin it at my house post haste)
In the end, you as the parent are respsonsible for creating the family life that you want.
Parents everywhere are frantically trying to find things for their children to do. Or are they? Has the downturn in our economy meant less children going off to summer camp and more kids spending their days at home exploring their backyard and neighborhood?
If my neighborhood is any indication that is exactly what people are doing. I have heard over and over again that people are just going to have a quiet lazy summer at home, maybe a week or two of a special interest day camp, but that is it. Some parents seem happy about this. Others a little nervous. A few seem panicked by the endless hours they will need to fill.
Some of best memories are of being at the house of my cousin during the summer. I would spend every day there while my parents were at work. Other than a week or two of vacation bible school in the morning, all of our days were spent swimming in the pool, playing in the yard, and doing crafts. I loved summer. I loved waking up knowing that there was no agenda.
I hope my kids love low key summers as much as I did as a child. I think that the best memories happen when you aren’t trying.
My children don’t have cell phones yet, but I can feel that the day is quickly approaching.
Last week we were at a baseball game when one of the parents told me that they had broken down and gotten their 8th grade son a cellphone. They just couldn’t stand listening to him complain any longer that he was the ONLY KID in the ENTIRE SCHOOL without one. I turned to my son and said, “Well, I guess you have the distinction now of being the only 8th grader in the ENTIRE TOWN without one!” He laughed.
Obviously that is not true, but it sure does seem like it some days. Seeing teenagers walking around, texting constantly, drives me crazy. What could they possibly be texting about when they aren’t actually doing anything but texting?
American teenagers sent and received an average of 2,272 text messages per month in the fourth quarter of 2008.
The NY Times recently ran an article about the toll that texting is taking on the lives of the American teenager. Highlighting how many of them are staying up all night texting, averaging hundreds of texts per day.
Yet she said there was an element of hypocrisy in all this: her mother, too, is hooked on the cellphone she carries in her purse.
“She should understand a little better, because she’s always on her iPhone… But she’s all like, ‘Oh well, I don’t want you texting.’ ” …Teens feel they are being punished for behavior in which their parents indulge…
But isn’t that what being an adult is all about? Having the privilidge to do things that children are not permitted to do? Children have curfews. Children do not drink alcohol. Children do not get to vote. Adults are supposed to have the wisdom to make better choices than children. Hopefully parents aren’t staying up all night to text their friends.
What R U wearing to work tomorrow?
IDK, U?
Eh, I don’t know text speak. When I do text my friends we use proper grammar and punctuation. I guess that is what “old people” do.
It seems that much of the problem is that parents don’t want to say no to their children. The major carriers all have plans which allow parents to put restrictions on cell phone usage. The family in the aforementioned article ended up limiting text messages to 5000 per month (that is a limit?) and no phone usage between 9 pm and 6 am weekdays.
Kids love to grow things. And did you know that if you have your children help plant and tend vegetables in the garden that they will be much more likely to eat them?
Yes, it is true. They become invested in the vegetables and want to eat them. That isn’t to say that they will suddenly eschew cookies, candy and carbs, but I can almost guarantee that they will at least try the vegetables.
Planting your first garden can be intimidating. Where do you start?
First, pick the best place in your yard. It should be sunny and close enough to your water source that grabbing the hose and watering your garden will be easy. If you have a programmable sprinkler, set it to water your garden early in the morning.
I have found that the easiest way to start a garden, especially if you have a yard with subpar soil, is to build raised beds.
If you are not able to do that or don’t want to do that, you can plant your garden right in the yard. First you need to kill the grass. Wet down the grass. Put down a layer of newspapers. Wet it down again. Put at least one inch of good quality soil on top of the newspaper. Plant right in this, digging straight through the newspaper into the ground. The newspaper will prevent too many weeds from growing the first year.
If you don’t want to commit to a full garden, you can also plant your garden in a container. Tomatoes, strawberries, pole beans are all examples of things that can grow quite well in a container. Perfect if you live in an apartment or area with not a lot of available yard space. I will admit that I secretly love those upside down hanging tomato planters. I think they would be nice to hang off of a back patio in place of hanging flower baskets.
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