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May 8, 2009

A Photo a Day

Filed under: Children, parenting — Chris @ 8:41 am

As an avid amateur photographer, I love this story of a father who has photographed his two children every day of their lives. When I read the article I thought, “Why didn’t I think of that!”

I do take photographs almost every single day. But not always of my children. And certainly not the type of full face photos that this father has been doing for over 12 years. What a great slideshow that will be when they are all put together. I wonder if the children will continue the practice into their adulthood. Imagine having a photograph of yourself for every single day of your life.

I have a friend who photographed her baby wearing all his cute little baby outfits, you know the ones where the sweatshirts have ears or the feet of the pants are attached to the legs and look like little shoes? The outfits that only mothers really love. That was an idea I wish I had done also. I didn’t save all of my children’s baby clothes, just a couple of special outfits.

May 6, 2009

Charging the Neediness Batteries

Filed under: Children, Making It Work, answering your questions, parenting — Chris @ 8:14 am

I am pulling this from the comment section on a recent post:

I’m raising a large family and working out of my home. It is very challenging I’m finding tempers flying lately mine. Any help would be great. I have 4 kids 9,7,4 and a 18 months old .We are having problems listening, yelling,manners, hitting siblings and bedtime with my youngest

Oh, Diane, I hear you. Trust me on this one.

What I have found is that when my children are acting out and misbehaving is that I usually have to look to myself first. My behaviors and actions really do set the tone for the entire house. What is that old saying? If Mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy. Ouch. But true.

The simple answer is PLANNING! PLANNING! PLANNING! Did I mention planning? And probably lowering some of your expectations. I am not sure of your exact situation, but many times I forget how young my older children really are. I am sure you have had the experience of looking at your youngest children and thinking, “Wow, when my oldest was that age I expected x, y, z behavior. Whereas my youngest still seems like a baby now!”

Of course no answer is truly simple. Implementing changes, even when you know that they are for the best is difficult.

Come in closer and I will tell you a secret… I make lists.

I make doing something with my children a priority on my list. Yes, I usually write a list, particularly when I am feeling overwhelmed. To me feeling overwhelmed hampers my ability to prioritize and make good decisions. So I will write on the top of my list, before the chores and such, “Go outside and jump rope with the children,” or whatever it is that they have been wanting me to do. Sometimes it is play a board game which makes me want to gouge my eyeballs out with a blunt butter knife, but they enjoy it so. The game playing, not eyeball gouging.

If I spend some time upfront with my children they are more accepting of giving me some space so I can do work later on uninterrupted. It’s like charging up their neediness batteries. After spending some quality time with me they are charged up and ready to play independently for a while. If they know that they will have their fun time with me at some point they are also willing to be somewhat accommodating if I have to say not now.

It sounds so simple. So easy. But I still struggle with it some days, especially with the school aged children who I often feel should know better and be able to exist independently for longer periods of time.

May 5, 2009

Summer Reading List for Tweens

Filed under: Children, Ideas — Chris @ 8:12 am

A Dangerous Boy

The Dangerous Book for Boys.

The Daring Book for Girls, by Andrea Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz. My sons took the book and ran off with it. They didn’t seem to care that the title has “girl” in it. They thought it was a cool book regardless.

Most of the sections are pretty gender neutral. I was worried that it was going to be filled with things like “Getting a Perfect Manicure” or “Sewing Your Own Menstrual Pads” or “How to Make the Boy Notice You” But I needn’t have worried. It is the perfect mix of things that might not appeal to boys, like “Putting Your Hair Up With a Pencil,” “Modern Women Leaders” or “Princesses,” but at the same time the book is just chock-full of cool fun things to do and trivia that appeals to everyone.

I say buy both of these books for the kids in your life, whether they are boys or girls. Kids like to have things at this age that are “special” to their sex. That is why this is the age when kids gravitate toward clubs like Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. But they will also love the book for the opposite sex, I mean what boy doesn’t want to know how to build a campfire or make the perfect cootie catcher?

The Inheritance Trilogy by Christopher Paolini

This series was supposed to be only three books, but the third book proved to be too long so now there will be a fourth book. The first three have become instant bestsellers and I suspect that the fourth will be also. I believe the final book is due out this spring. My oldest two sons have loved these books. Just a few days ago my 13 year old said he can’t wait for the next book. he has read them multiple times. Don’t base your opinion of this book on the movie, the movie was disappointing.

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan.

My 11.5 yr old son just finished reading this book last night and loved it. He already has Book 2 and 3 on his bedside table. The main character is a 21st century kid in NYC with ADHD who is a social outcast and learns that he is really the son of Poseidon and a mortal woman. It is a new modern twist on the adventure quest type of series.

Chew On This: Everything You Don’t Want To Know About Fast Food by Eric Schlosser.

This is the young adult version of the book Fast Food Nation by the same author. After reading this book two of my children have sworn off fast food. They absolutely refuse to eat any and all fast food and have for over a year now. A great informational read.

The Thief Lord, by Cornelia Funke

This was Cornelia Funke’s first novel. It is about two boys who run away from their mean aunt to the city of Venice. My older kids immediately fell in love with the book and went searching for other books by the same author.

Inkheart and Inkspell are two more books by author. Originally Inkheart was supposed to be a stand alone book, but the popularity of it encouraged the author to write a second book in what will now be a trilogy. The main character in these books is a girl, if you have a daughter who would like a girl as a main character.

My children are all voracious readers, so this is really just a small sample of books they remember that they enjoyed. When pressed I got the, “I liked all the books I read, otherwise I would not have read them,” as a response.

Feel free to leave some suggestions in the comments below. We are always on the look out for more books!

May 3, 2009

To Snoop, or Not to Snoop

Filed under: Children, parenting — Chris @ 11:42 am

I read this  post recently on whether or not it is okay to snoop into your tween and teens online activity.  At first I will admit that I was put off by the term “snoop”  Isn’t that what being a parent is all about?  Aren’t we suppose to know exactly what they are doing.  But I found myself asking… what is the line?  Where do you cross the line?

There are so many more things now than when most of us were growing up.  So many other places to “snoop” than in the locked Hello Kitty diary that is kept under the mattress.  Which, for the record, I would never snoop into a private, personal diary.

The comment section got me thinking, one person in particular wrote:

I have the right and the technical ability to monitor everything you do on line. Don’t make me do it.

This falls in line with my own thinking.  I don’t routinely check up on everything that my kids are doing online, I have the internet fairly well locked up for right now anyway, but I reserve the right to check on any and everything should  I be given cause to.  I tell my children that they should behave as though I am standing right there next to them.  Both online and in real life.  If you are going to do something that you know I won’t approve of it would be in your best interest to really consider why you want to do that particular thing.

The more you give us reason to trust you, the more we’ll trust you. The more you give us reason to NOT trust you, the less we’ll trust you.

I say this to my children all the time when I hear cries of “you just don’t trust me!” right after they have been caught doing something untrustworthy.  Because clearly the act of me checking up on them is where the problem lies!  Right?

As my kids have grown older I have come to realize that it is easier to start out stricter and loosen the reigns, than to try and tighten them up after the fact.

What about you?  How do you feel about snooping into your children’s online activity and cell phone records.  Is it snooping, or is it part of your job as a parent?

May 1, 2009

The Neighbor Kids, Again

Filed under: Children, Humor Keeps Me Sane, Just For Fun, Keeping It Real — Chris @ 8:16 am

So somehow our house has become playground central.  Which really is fine most of the time.  I like having all the kids over here.  I like hearing what they are up to, what games they are playing, just getting to know them all.  And you know what?  I really like kids.  They are all good kids.  There are a couple that might be a bit rougher around the edges than I like, but I see this as an opportunity to model the sort of kind, compassionate behavior that would better serve them in life.

In an effort not to go broke handing snacks out the entire neighborhood I bought those ice pops that come in the plastic sleeve.  You know that ones that I mean?  I am sure that they have a name, but we just refer to them as ice pops.  They had them on sale at the grocery store a box of 100 for under $3.  That is a small price to pay to keep all the neighborhood kids happy.  None of the other neighbors hand out snacks, why should they I guess since I always am! 

Our neighborhood is really big on sharing. All the kids play with each others toys.  At the end of the day if there are toys in my driveway that don’t belong to us I just stick them in my garage.  I know that the next day the owner will come over and find it. 

Everyone gently reprimands the kids should they need it.  I have no qualms with someone telling one of my children to stop whatever it is they might be doing, nor do I have any hesitation about doing the same to one of the other children.  it really is a fabulous community and we are blessed to have found it.

Now if I could  just convince all of the kids that doing yard work is REALLY REALLY a fun game and they should all do it.   Weeding… it is the new jump rope. 

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