Well, if you are Abigail Breslin you get $13 per week. The 13 year old Academy Award nominated actress makes $2 million per film and was recently ranked eighth in Forbes magazine’s list of “Young Hollywood’s Top-Earning Stars.
And guess what? She also has to do chores. Next time my children complain I am going to be pointing this out.
Kudos to her parents for keeping her grounded and away from the Hollywood starlet mentality.
Do you? Don’t you? Is it tied to chores? How much? And what are they expected to do with their money?
These are some of the questions that all parents think about. And stress over. We all want to teach our chidlren personal responsibility. We all want to instill a good work ethic in our children. We also want our children to realize that helping out around the house is an expectation. No one pays me to wash their clothes, so it stands to reason that they should not be paid for cleaning up their own rooms or loading the dishwasher.
President Obama has said that he gives his girls a dollar a week for an allowance. And that he forgets to give it to them most of time! Obviously their allowance is just a token amount. I doubt they are expected to buy much more than a pack of gum with their money.
They also do not buy their children birthday presents because they feel spending money on a party is enough of a present. We give our kids the choice… party or present. So far they have all opted for the presents.
So do you give a monetary allowance? And how much do you give?
The Washington Post recently had an article about the the top three money missteps that parents make with their children. This was in response to a different article that appeared in the NY Times in which teenagers at an affluent private school in Manhattan were interviewed regarding their spending habits during this economic down turn. Many of the parents complained that their children were selfish and exhibited a sense of entitlement that the parents found shocking. However, when pressed, it became evident that none of the parents had really discussed money with their children before.
One of the parents decided to show her teenagers all of their monthly bills and her children were shocked. Upon viewing their mortgage statement her son thought it was an annual bill, not a monthly one.
The Washington Post identified the top three money mistakes that parents make with their children.
Caving in to children’s every request.
Nothing annoys me more than parents who say no and then after their child has whined and complained give in. The lesson for parents in this one? Don’t say no unless you really mean it. Don’t say no if what you mean is I will think about it. Don’t say no as a knee jerk reaction, unless your goal is to raise whining brats.
Neglecting to give children guidance regarding spending their money.
This means helping your children to save their money toward long term goals. I have friends who have their children divide their allowance into long term saving, short term saving, and tithe. The long term savings goes towards things like saving for a new bike, a video game, etc Short term money might be for buying an ice cream sandwich at school or a pack of baseball cards. And tithe obviously is for donating to their church.
Failing to make children work for their money.
In the real world people have to work to earn their money. Children may as well learn this lesson early.
I think I would add a fourth mistake. And that would be being afraid to share real world money information with their children. Now, I don’t mean opening up your entire banking and savings statement for you children, but I think that there is a way to share age appropriate information with them. Telling your teenagers how much your mortgage, property taxes, car payment, grocery bills etc are can be eye opening for children. I know one day when I was talking about property taxes my 13 year old was incredulous. “What do you mean you have to keep paying taxes on your car after you already own it?”
For a young child this might be explaining that the ATM just doesn’t hand out money “for free” and explaining to them the very basic concept of a savings account and how credit cards work. I know that I am not the only parent who has a child say, “Just use your card!” when told I did not have the money to buy something.
As parents who are using a system like Handipoints to encourage our children to do chores and earn rewards and allowances, I’d have to say that we are at least avoiding these pitfalls.
We had a huge snow, turned rain, turned slush, turned frozen wasteland st0rm come through this past week.
It was really awful to deal with. Shoveling slush, because the snowblower can’t handle it, is heavy and back breaking work. My 13 and 10 yr old sons helped me (Not to self: Buy more shovels so more people can help.)
I had offered anyone who helped double their allowance for the week. They were the only two who took me up on it. We were out there for well over two hours. It was pretty hellish, if hell were a rainy frozen wasteland, which it just might be. We were completely drenched all the way through our coats and gloves.
We called it quits when we had half of the driveway done. It is a horseshoe shape so cars still would be able to drive in and out on one side.
The next day we went to leave and our van was frozen to the driveway. My 13 yr old son had to get the ice chopper and chop the ice from around the tires. I was worried he was going to puncture one of the tires, but he didn’t . And then he had to help push the car while I floored it in reverse.
When we arrived home hours later, I parked the van far down the driveway so that it wouldn’t get stuck again. I went inside with the kids, I was carrying all the stuff. A little while later I looked outside and noticed my 13 yr old diligently chiseling ice from the driveway. Without even being asked. Or my having mentioned it.
And for this I rewarded him with an extra $20 in his allowance this week. Without being asked. Without mentioning it.
I don’t do things like that often so it is always a surprise. No one expects it.
Now I’ll just try to remember this the next time he gives me the teenage eye roll.
At what age did you start allowance? Mine are 4 and 2. In your universe I’d give $ to my 4 yo, what about the 2 yo? What happens when 4 yo wants to spend his money and 2 yo doesn’t have any? Argh, the complications … right now no one gets anything
Well, my 3 and 4 year old children do get an allowance, but mostly it is because they have older siblings and we didn’t want them to feel left out. When my oldest children were that age they didn’t get an allowance. I really didn’t even consider it.
Having said that, since we do not give cash, but rather put the money into a bank account, I don’t see any reason not to start. We also put any birthday or holiday money they get from friends and relatives into their accounts. My kids have loved seeing the balance grow.
I encourage long term saving. We do not run out every week with fists full of dollar bills looking for things on which to spend money. Being able to see that one weeks worth of chores gets them x number of dollars. They are able to figure out how many weeks of chores they will need to do to earn enough money for an item they want. Funny how suddenly having to do chores for a month to get a toy, usually makes the toy less desirable.
Isn’t that one of our goals as parents to raise discerning consumers?
Oh there are so many differing schools of thought on allowance. Whether or not it should be tied to chores, just given freely, or even if it should be given at all.
I think that having a small amount of money is helpful in teaching them how to budget and save for things.
At my house allowance isn’t directly tied to chores. Each child gets half of their age in dollars each week. So my 13 year old get $6.50 while my 4 year old gets $2. It is their money free and clear, to do (mostly) whatever they desire with it. I do sometimes say no, but that is mostly with the littler kids who would like to spend every cent they have on candy. My older children have been very good about saving their money for things that they really want.
If I ask them to do special chores that are above and beyond the scope of their normal activity I will sometimes offer a monetary incentive. In the fall when we were doing the endless leave cleaning up, I offered $5 for anyone who would help. I was out there doing it with them.
My oldest two sons will also do small amounts of babysitting for me. I never pay them for this, but will bring them home an occasional treat, like a couple tins of Altoids or a special coffee or hot chocolate from Dunkin’ Donuts. Just a little something that shows them that I appreciate them. I think when all is said and done that is what most of us want, children or adults, is to be recognized and appreciated.
(click on photo to enlarge for ease of reading)
Some people have expressed a desire to see what the bank statements look like that we give our children.
This is a photo of one belonging to my 10 year old son.
Everything is itemized the way that it would be in a real bank statement. He received birthday money in addition to his allowance, and he made no withdrawals from his savings to buy things.
Withdrawals would be listed with exact expenditure and the date.
Additionally, we really do have a bank account at an actual bank where their money is collectively saved. Every week my husband transfers their allowances into the single account ($26.50 each week), adds in any additional money earned through extra chores or birthday money, withdraws expenditures.
This system of payment has been the best for us. No cash to lose. No trying to remember how much money each child is owed. Encouraging them to save and watch their bank accounts grow.
Linda left a comment in this post about encouraging her children to save their allowance by matching the money they put into their savings account. Sort of like a matching 401K plan that most corporations offer their employees. I like this idea.
I do wonder though if there are restrictions of how long the money must be saved in order to earn the match. What if they put it in their savings account and then withdraw it 3 weeks later? What do you do?
Linda, inquiring minds would like to know! 
I think this comment stood out with me also because I have been discussing savings account interest, investments, the stock market, etc with my children. Trying to get them to understand why these options are superior to hiding a wad of bulls under their mattress.
I have been looking various books online and reading the reviews.
Description from amazon:
This newly updated edition of Growing Money answers every question a budding investor might ask: How do you read stock pages? What’s the difference between stocks and bonds? Why do stocks go up and down? How can I keep track of investments? Can kids invest?
I think that I could use some of these questions answered more clearly for myself too!
This book seems to be alone the same vein. All about saving, spending and investing.
This book is geared for younger kids.
So do you have any books that you recommend to teach children about saving and investing? I think I am going to hit our local library tomorrow and see if they have any of these books or any others that I might not have heard about. I’ll let you know if I find anything that inspires me.
Boy, this is a tough one isn’t it. Even the experts don’t agree on this.
On the one hand, we are all a family, a team, and we should all work together as one to keep things running smoothly. No one gets paid for doing nothing.
On the other hand, don’t kids need some sort of motivation for doing the chores? Should children be responsible for chores without being paid for their services?
On the other , other hand (why yes, I do have more than two hands I am a mother after all) maybe there is a middle ground.
In my house allowance is not directly tied to chores. For several reasons, not the least of which is I don’t want my children thinking that chores are something they can opt out of by relinquishing their allowance. Not likely to happen when your children are young and not able to earn any extra money from other sources, but once they get older it could be a real possibility.
Do you want your 16 yr old coming to you and saying, “Thanks, but you can just keep your $8.”
At my house you aren’t allowed to just NOT do your chores, whatever they might be. You will do them or nothing else will happen until they are completed. And completed in an acceptable manner.
Frankly, I also don’t want the hassle of deducting money from their allowance for every infraction.
But by using the handipoints system, you can assign points that are not tied to an allowance. You can assign points to each chore and then grade your child’s performance on the point system. You can give bonus points if a job is exceptionally well done, or take away points if it was not done well. And they can use these points for the bonus rewards I discussed the other day. This seems like the perfect compromise to me.
I know other people do tie their allowance to chores. And their reasons seem logical to me as well. That in the real world people are paid for jobs they do and do well. And if that system works for you, great!
It was my son’s birthday this weekend. With seven kids we don’t need to have big fancy parties. We are our own party.
We have some traditions that we carry out with every birthday. The first of which is a treasure hunt. I make up silly rhymes, write them on index cards and hide them. The kids go running en masse from one room to another room finding the next clue until they reach the presents.
It makes the presents fun for everyone.
Just like at Christmas, I encourage the children buy the birthday child presents at the dollar store. It is amazing how many fun things they find there without breaking any sort of budget. They use their own allowance money to do it and that helps them to really take ownership of the shopping, thinking what the other person might enjoy.
(To my daughter: No, I don’t think he would like to have a set of sparkly lip gloss. I realize the Disney princesses are on the label. Are you confusing what you want with what he might want?)
My son got a huge box of bubble gum, a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game, a dart gun, a pack of Spiderman pens, ring pops, and a deck of cards. He loved them all probably as much as the high priced presents I bought him.
The fact that his siblings picked the presents out for him makes him feel special.
And the fact that they bought their brother presents with money they earned themselves, makes all of them feel special too.
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