Ages 10-12 Years | Mommy Points

June 28, 2009

A Summer Pastime

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Children, Chores, Instilling Values, Kindness Of Spirit, parenting — Chris @ 1:10 am

What kids haven’t dreamed of setting up a lemonade stand on a hot summer day?

My children and some of their friends set one up this weekend.

They built the stand themselves with scrap wood and nails. My word, the number of nails they used. Let’s just say we should huddle under this should a tornado come through.

After sitting out there the entire afternoon they closed up shop. They had made $28. Divided by 7 children who were working the stand, they each left with $4. It probably works out to be less than 50 cents per hour for all of the time that they invested. They could not have been happier.

I love seeing their entrepenurial spirit. Remember last week they made flyers for a lawn service? One of our neighbors called them and they weedwhacked and used the leaf blower on his lawn. I’m not sure how many people are interested in hiring a trio of boys under 11, but even one customer thrills them to no end. They worked so hard on that lawn, so invested in their work, that the owner gave them a rather hefty tip. They accepted their money graciously and the moment they stepped off his front lawn and onto thesidewalk they began screaming, “WooooooHooooo Look at our money, Mom!”

I was reminded of the post I wrote a couple weeks ago about teenagers not getting traditional jobs this summers, instead carving out jjobs for themselves. Maybe this is where that entrepenurial spirit starts– lemonade stands and lawn mowing.

I wonder if Steve Jobs ever had a lemonade stand?

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August 14, 2008

Bringing the Consequences Home

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Discipline, parenting — Chris @ 11:55 pm

I had an incident with one of my sons a couple weeks ago where my son was being somewhat rude to his coach. Rude in that he wasn’t paying attention and was being a jokester. Just really being an all around pain in the butt. I was on the sidelines watching it all transpire and was tempted to march over there and tell him to knock it off and pay attention, but really that seemed like it was overstepping my boundaries.

After a few minutes of it the coach finally got annoyed and sent him to run a lap.

When practice ended I asked him about it and he felt bad. He thought he was just having fun and didn’t realize he was getting carried away. I gave him a talking to about being respectful and left it at that. With the understanding that if it happened again there would be consequences at home.

I knew he felt contrite because he didn’t ask what the consequences would be. Don’t you love when kids do that? Like they are weighing the consequences against whatever it is they could potentially do wrong. Surely my kids aren’t the only ones who ask.

A few years ago I had a different son who got in trouble during practice, the situation was similar except the child in question was old enough to know better. When he got home I made him write a letter of apology to the coach. Mostly because I did not want the coach to think I condoned this behavior. Youth sports are riddled with parents who think that their children are perfect.

So what do you do if your child gets “in trouble” with a coach or teacher? Do you leave it there? Or do you impose consequences at home also? If you do, what sort of consequences do you impose?

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January 9, 2008

Learning Through Mindless Television

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Children, Chores, Humor Keeps Me Sane — Chris @ 11:07 pm

I am almost embarrassed to admit this, but tonight I was watching the show Wife Swap with my older children. The premise of the show, for those of you who haven’t seen or heard about it, is that they take two wives/mothers and have them swap families for 2 weeks. Of course because it is television they take volatile people who are complete polar opposites and put them together.

Tonight’s show featured a really strict, chore loving family and a messy, dirty family wherein no one did any housekeeping.

My children were fascinated by the show.

(They were also fascinated at how rude and what poor language the people hurled at each other. Egads, it was bad. I’ll admit here and now that I find the occasional use of a good swear word to be called for, but never, ever directed at someone personally. And certainly not a whole string of them in front of my children while being filmed for national television! But I digress.)

When the show first started I had asked them which family they thought we were more like. My older two children immediately said “The chore family! We have to do chores!” But as we watched the show they slowly changed their minds. They decided that we were a combination of both families. We did chores, but still had fun.

When the new wife at the clean family decided that there would be no more cleaning, my kids were incredulous. “But why not just clean up after yourself? It doesn’t take that long!”

When the new wife encouraged them to just leave their messes laying around and not clean up their dishes after eating, again my kids said, “But why? That is just gross!”

I was incredulous, who were these kids and where were my children?

But the funniest part happened at the very end. The messy father asked the clean father if he felt bad making his kids scrub sinks. My kids were laughing. And my oldest son said, “Gee, he is making it seem like cleaning the bathroom is child abuse!”

I laughed with them. I guess being “forced” to do chores hasn’t scarred them in any way. Or at least not in any negative way.

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July 31, 2007

Television Really IS Good For You

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Chores — Chris @ 11:31 pm

or at least good for me.

My kids have discovered Hell’s Kitchen and decided that they love to cook.

Last night my 12 yr old son made a taco dinner completely by himself, including preparing all of the condiments that go on the tacos. Tonight he grilled… on the grill! And made a tossed salad.

I am afraid that I have perhaps died and gone to heaven.

If I had known that screaming and yelling and being abusive in the kitchen would make them want to cook I would have done it years ago. (Okay, not really.)

Tonight my 11 yr old son was discussing what he wants to cook for dinner tomorrow night. I hemmed and hawed and pretended like I wanted to cook dinner before finally acquiescing. Because if their track record holds true as soon as you want them to do something, they no longer want to do it.

It shows that letting them help in the kitchen little by little as their abilities have allowed, has paid off.

Now, if there would be a cleaning show hosted by Chef Ramsy… my days of leisure could begin.

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July 3, 2007

Why Didn’t I Ever Know About This?

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 2-4 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Just For Fun, Teen years — Chris @ 12:18 pm

Did you know that during the summer select movie theaters offer free admission for a children’s movie, or two, per week? You probably did.

I, however, have been nice and comfortable here under my rock.

AMC Theatres offer a free movie on Wednesday mornings all summer long.

Regal Entertainment Group Theatres offer selected G & PG movies start at 10AM each Tuesday and Wednesday during the festival. First-come, first-served seating is limited to theatre capacity. This group of theatres offers two movies simultaneously.

I wish one of these was close enough to make it worthwhile for me to bring my children on a regular basis. Such is the curse of living in the middle of nowhere.

I think things like this are especially appealing to those of us with children who might not be quite old enough to go to the movie theater. My 2.5 yr old might sit through an entire movie without leaving his seat. But he is also might be just as likely to get up and try to run up and down the aisle. At these free showings there is a lot of young children, no one is expecting complete silence, and if it gets so bad you have to leave the theater, well you haven’t lost any money.

Remember to check out your local theaters too. It is always possible that they are doing something similar to lure you in their doors where you will buy the overpriced concessions.

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May 23, 2007

Deciding On An Allowance

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Allowance, Children — Chris @ 10:52 pm

One of the biggest questions surrounding an allowance, aside from the should I or shouldn’t I give one, is the amount of money children should receive.

Questions to consider while making this decision:

1) What will they be responsible for with the money?

2) Will it be given in cash form or something else?

In our family allowance is fun money. My children are not required to buy anything they need with it. Lunches, drinks, clothing, shoes, various lessons, sports gear (within reason) are all provided for them. Having an allowance gives them the opportunity to save and purchase things that I would probably say no to. Because does anyone really need another Lego Bionicle set? I think no, but my sons strongly disagree.

This attitude is reflected in the amount of money that my children receive for an allowance. Some might call it a paltry sum of money. But I am a firm believer that it is better to give your children absolute control over a small amount of money. This way they can learn by making small mistakes. No one wants to learn their first money lesson as a semi-adult by blowing $10,000. And even more so, no parent wants to witness it. Small money = small mistakes, Big money= big mistakes.

My children get half their age as their allowance. So my 12 year old gets $6 a week, my 11 year old gets $5.50, etc.

They also do not get actual cash money handed to them for their allowance. Their money is deposited in the Bank of Mom and Dad. I think we all can relate to the experience of having cash fly out of our hands. Spending a little bit here, a little bit there, and never being able to save up for the big things. And yet having no record of where the money was spent.

At the end of each week, we print out a bank statement that looks very official. One for each of them. It lists their beginning balance, their deposits (usually just their allowance, but sometimes birthday money, or money earned from doing extra projects), any withdrawals that they have made, and then their ending balance.

Watching their money grow in their bank accounts has been a good learning experience for them. They are able to see that each little bit DOES add up over time and it encourages them to save and not spend it all every week.

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May 18, 2007

Work, Earning, and Saving

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Chores, Instilling Values, Saving, Teen years, Work Ethic — Chris @ 10:49 pm

This week my 11 year old son bought a new mountain bike, with money he had saved from his allowance and birthday gifts. The maturity he showed he in the store, looking at various bikes and the features the bikes had, as well as the price, was something he would not have done had we walked into the store bearing only my credit card. If I were paying for his bike, he would have no reason to want anything less than the very best bike in the place.

Over the past week he and I have had numerous discussions about his impending purchases. He wanted a new bike, a video iPod, and a digital camcorder. He does not have the money saved top buy all of those things. So our conversations went round and round, weighing the pros and cons of each purchase. Him lamenting the fact that he can’t buy everything, because he wants everything.

We have had some enlightening conversations.

“Well, you buy everything you want.” he said to me at one point.

“Do I? Like what?” I had asked.

“I don’t know, but you are always going to the store.” he had replied.

“Yes, it is my greatest desire to buy a 12 pack of toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and food for my family to eat.” He had laughed and I continued on, “I think you are confusing things we need with things we want. I want lots of things, but I don’t buy them. At least I don’t buy them without careful consideration. And usually in the end I decide that I don’t want most of them after all.”

It is a tough lesson. But one that is important for children to learn. If you, as a parent, are the one holding the purse strings the responsibility falls on you to say yes or no to your children’s wants and purchases. They have no reason to really think deeply about what they want. And if they can’t have something, well then it is your fault. You are the one who is blocking them from the very thing that they have decided will give them the ultimate amount of happiness, at least that day.

As parents we want to give our children everything. We want them to be happy. But being parents really is more than that. It is giving them the skills to succeed later in life.

I don’t want my children growing up with a sense of entitlement that I see so many of their peers afflicted with. I want them to understand budgeting and assessing their wants. I want them to have the joy that can only come from purchasing a long desired item with money they earned through their own hard work. I want them to have the pride of ownership that can only come from getting something all on their own.

I remember the thrill of going to the store with my purse full of cash I had saved. I remember my first large purchase. I want that memory for my children.

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May 8, 2007

So They Need To Do Chores: Elementary School Years

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Chores — Chris @ 10:30 pm

Remember the mantra: It’s a learning experience.

Sometimes good enough is perfectly okay.

6, 7, and 8 yr olds:

This is the making your life a little bit easier age. They are not able to do most of the chores to the standard that you would do them yourself, but it is important to remember that a) they are learning, and b) better to have to deep clean a bathroom once a week that has been lightly cleaned all week long than a bathroom that has just been let go.

They can do any of the chores mentioned for the younger children, plus any of these.

move all chairs out from kitchen table and sweep underneath it
light vacuuming (mine usually do the area rug in the family room)
sweep staircases inside of house
light bathroom cleaning using clorox type wipes , damp mop bathroom floor, (this is our light daily cleaning. I wet the mop and hand it one of them and they will do the half bath floor with it)
sweep front porch, to include shaking off the welcome mat
making sure all outdoor toys are put away nightly
empty wastebaskets into main trash bin

9, 10,11 yr olds:

At this age they are ready to take on simple chores independently and do them effectively.

They can do any of the chores mentioned for the younger children, plus any of these.

preparing simple foods themselves, (they can handle knives and the stove at this age, just make sure you have taught them the proper way to use these items– making salad, garlic bread, grilled cheese)
being responsible for getting all their dirty laundry to the laundry room on a given day and then putting it all away where it belongs
seasonal outdoor chores: raking leaves including using a small hand held leafblower, shoveling walkways, weeding
Vacuuming thoroughly
Deep cleaning bathrooms
Using windex to wash windows
Clean the inside of the car (vacuuming, using window cleaner, bring any errant toys or clothes into the house)
rinse dinner dishes and load into dishwasher, turn dishwasher on
Feed pets, or be responsible for outdoor bird feeders

12yrs old and up:

Yessss!

At this age most children are capable of handling most household chores after a little bit of instruction.

They can do any of the chores mentioned for the younger children, plus any of these.

Keeping their rooms clean, organized, and tidy– completely on their own
Following recipes and cooking simple meals on their own ( probably not a rib roast and several side dishes, but things like macaroni and cheese, cookies, brownies, pancakes are some examples)
Seasonal outdoor chores: mowing the lawn, using the leaf blower, using the snow blower (I have found that children this age love to use motorized things like these. It makes them feel older and responsible.)
Some people might allow their children to actually use the washer and dryer at this and be responsible for their own clothes. I happen to be too much of a control freak about stains to hand this over.
Babysitting younger siblings. I am not sure if this counts as a chore per se, but I feel as though it is something that should be recognized and rewarded.

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