Ages 7 -9 Years | Mommy Points

March 23, 2009

Using Chores As A Learning Tool, or Some Might Say Punishment

Filed under: Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Chores, Discipline, Instilling Values, parenting — Chris @ 8:41 am

Yesterday my 8 yr old son broke the glass in the front door of our house. He threw a golf ball at it. For reasons that are only known to an 8 yr old and defy any sort of adult reason or logic.

The glass needs to be replaced and is expensive. Just how expensive I don’t know yet, but I am willing to bet it is more than a little boy can pay for out of his allowance. So he will be doing extra chores to “earn money” to pay for the glass. I am trying to come up with extra chores, ones that don’t already belong to anyone else.

So far I have:

Sweep the foyer every evening
Put shoes away in shoe basket
Sweep front steps
Vacuum the downstairs living area rug
Tidy up downstairs living area (toys away, books away, replace throw pillows to couches)

These are all things that I do on a daily basis. I know that there must be some other chores I can have him do, but I can’t think of any!

I am also trying to decide how I am going to assign the chores a monetary value. Or if I am going to assign one. I am a little conflicted about this one. I will update you all as I decide.

Has anyone else done something similar with their children?

Comments (12)

August 14, 2008

Bringing the Consequences Home

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Discipline, parenting — Chris @ 11:55 pm

I had an incident with one of my sons a couple weeks ago where my son was being somewhat rude to his coach. Rude in that he wasn’t paying attention and was being a jokester. Just really being an all around pain in the butt. I was on the sidelines watching it all transpire and was tempted to march over there and tell him to knock it off and pay attention, but really that seemed like it was overstepping my boundaries.

After a few minutes of it the coach finally got annoyed and sent him to run a lap.

When practice ended I asked him about it and he felt bad. He thought he was just having fun and didn’t realize he was getting carried away. I gave him a talking to about being respectful and left it at that. With the understanding that if it happened again there would be consequences at home.

I knew he felt contrite because he didn’t ask what the consequences would be. Don’t you love when kids do that? Like they are weighing the consequences against whatever it is they could potentially do wrong. Surely my kids aren’t the only ones who ask.

A few years ago I had a different son who got in trouble during practice, the situation was similar except the child in question was old enough to know better. When he got home I made him write a letter of apology to the coach. Mostly because I did not want the coach to think I condoned this behavior. Youth sports are riddled with parents who think that their children are perfect.

So what do you do if your child gets “in trouble” with a coach or teacher? Do you leave it there? Or do you impose consequences at home also? If you do, what sort of consequences do you impose?

Comments (9)

March 12, 2008

Co-operation

Filed under: Ages 2-4 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Chores, Instilling Values, Making It Work — Chris @ 9:02 pm

Sometimes it is just the little things.

Instilling the helper mentality while they are little is so much easier than trying to fix it later when they are older. Even though sometimes it might not seem like help, let them do it anyway.

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January 4, 2008

Again I Need To Learn

Filed under: Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Chores, Discipline, Keeping It Real, Making It Work, Work Ethic — Chris @ 5:49 pm

I often ask my children why they are hell bent on learning the same lesson over and over again. You know, why can’t they just learn their lesson the first time and move on with their life?

Today I realized that perhaps I need to heed the same advice.

My 7 and 8 yr old sons share a bedroom and they have their own attached bathroom. They are responsible for keeping both clean and tidy. I wash the floors and scrub out the tub, but I think that they are perfectly capable of wiping down the sink and toilet with cleaning wipes, rinsing their toothpaste out of the sink, making their beds, etc. I assure you that they are not toiling in the Gulag.

And I do remind them, almost daily to do it. And always I am met with assurances that it has been done.

I rarely have a need to go into their bathroom. And even less of a reason to closely examine it. This afternoon I was in there gathering towels and bath rugs, doing the hard cleaning like washing toothpaste off the walls. Why, in the name of all that is good and noble in this world, why do they get toothpaste on the walls? And I noticed a smell in the room. A yucky, dirty, am I in a public restroom sort of smell.

I looked over at the toilet and at first glance it looked clean. Then I lifted the lid. Oh Lord have mercy, I have never ever seen anything like that in my life. IN MY LIFE.

I ~~screamed my head off~~ called for my boys and pointed to the toilet, because I seriously had no words. Not a one.

They looked at the toilet, looked at me, looked at each other and offered up no explanation.

“Whaaa-aaaaat happened?” I finally managed to get out.

Still they looked confused.

“Have you been cleaning the toilet and around the toilet like you are supposed to?”

“We thought we just had to clean the lid.”

At this point my head may have exploded off of my shoulders and rolled right out of the room. So we had another lesson on how to properly clean, along with the helpful suggestion that if they worked on their aim perhaps they wouldn’t need to clean so much.

This experience was as much a lesson for me. I need to hold them accountable more often. To not feel bad about checking up on them every day and examining their chores carefully to make sure that they are done the way that they are supposed to be done. To make sure that I take the time to check so that nothing gets that out of control again.

And now I must go scrub my eyes with some bleach.

Comments (13)

July 25, 2007

without the weeds, there would be no lawn

Filed under: Ages 7 -9 years, Basics, Chores, Humor Keeps Me Sane — Chris @ 7:03 am

This past weekend my husband was lamenting the state of the front lawn. With the constant rain and the breaks of sun being filled up with baseball games, it had grown really long. Long as in it looked like we were living on a prarie, not a suburban neighborhood.

So we were having a “discussion” about mowing it. The front lawn is generally believed to me my job. I don’t mind. It is some extra exercise and I can’t hear the kids fighting over the roar of the lawn mower, so I am able to just lalala my way around the front yard. Except that sometimes I just don’t have time.

My 8 yr old was sitting there listening in and suddenly said, “When will I be old enough to mow the front lawn?” He rested his chin on his hands, elbows on his knees.

I had to laugh. because all of the children have gone through this. They all want to do a chore until they are actually allowed to do it. Then suddenly it is not cool or fun anymore.

“When you are old enough not to want to do it.” I answered.

“I never get to do anything.” he cried.

My husband decided why not let him give mowing the lawn a try.

So I started up the mower and said, “Have at it.”

Each time I glanced up he was running around the lawn. A huge grin on his face.

The lawn, however, looked like a cat after someone tried to shave it with an electric razor. Someone blind.

Patches of grass stood up here and there; long strips of uncut grass made zig zag patterns across the lawn; right in the middle a big circle of foot high unmowed weeds. Clearly 8yr olds are not ready for the front lawn.

He flopped down next to me on the front porch steps, pushed his long blonde hair out of his eyes. “Well, that was easy. And fun. I don’t know why no one wants to do it.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that usually we walk back and forth in straight lines and not run around all willy nilly. But maybe we should. Maybe running around all willy nilly would be a much more fun way to cut the grass.

In the backyard. The neighbors already think we are odd.

Comments (4)

July 3, 2007

Why Didn’t I Ever Know About This?

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 2-4 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Just For Fun, Teen years — Chris @ 12:18 pm

Did you know that during the summer select movie theaters offer free admission for a children’s movie, or two, per week? You probably did.

I, however, have been nice and comfortable here under my rock.

AMC Theatres offer a free movie on Wednesday mornings all summer long.

Regal Entertainment Group Theatres offer selected G & PG movies start at 10AM each Tuesday and Wednesday during the festival. First-come, first-served seating is limited to theatre capacity. This group of theatres offers two movies simultaneously.

I wish one of these was close enough to make it worthwhile for me to bring my children on a regular basis. Such is the curse of living in the middle of nowhere.

I think things like this are especially appealing to those of us with children who might not be quite old enough to go to the movie theater. My 2.5 yr old might sit through an entire movie without leaving his seat. But he is also might be just as likely to get up and try to run up and down the aisle. At these free showings there is a lot of young children, no one is expecting complete silence, and if it gets so bad you have to leave the theater, well you haven’t lost any money.

Remember to check out your local theaters too. It is always possible that they are doing something similar to lure you in their doors where you will buy the overpriced concessions.

Comments (10)

May 23, 2007

Deciding On An Allowance

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Allowance, Children — Chris @ 10:52 pm

One of the biggest questions surrounding an allowance, aside from the should I or shouldn’t I give one, is the amount of money children should receive.

Questions to consider while making this decision:

1) What will they be responsible for with the money?

2) Will it be given in cash form or something else?

In our family allowance is fun money. My children are not required to buy anything they need with it. Lunches, drinks, clothing, shoes, various lessons, sports gear (within reason) are all provided for them. Having an allowance gives them the opportunity to save and purchase things that I would probably say no to. Because does anyone really need another Lego Bionicle set? I think no, but my sons strongly disagree.

This attitude is reflected in the amount of money that my children receive for an allowance. Some might call it a paltry sum of money. But I am a firm believer that it is better to give your children absolute control over a small amount of money. This way they can learn by making small mistakes. No one wants to learn their first money lesson as a semi-adult by blowing $10,000. And even more so, no parent wants to witness it. Small money = small mistakes, Big money= big mistakes.

My children get half their age as their allowance. So my 12 year old gets $6 a week, my 11 year old gets $5.50, etc.

They also do not get actual cash money handed to them for their allowance. Their money is deposited in the Bank of Mom and Dad. I think we all can relate to the experience of having cash fly out of our hands. Spending a little bit here, a little bit there, and never being able to save up for the big things. And yet having no record of where the money was spent.

At the end of each week, we print out a bank statement that looks very official. One for each of them. It lists their beginning balance, their deposits (usually just their allowance, but sometimes birthday money, or money earned from doing extra projects), any withdrawals that they have made, and then their ending balance.

Watching their money grow in their bank accounts has been a good learning experience for them. They are able to see that each little bit DOES add up over time and it encourages them to save and not spend it all every week.

Comments (12)

May 18, 2007

Work, Earning, and Saving

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Chores, Instilling Values, Saving, Teen years, Work Ethic — Chris @ 10:49 pm

This week my 11 year old son bought a new mountain bike, with money he had saved from his allowance and birthday gifts. The maturity he showed he in the store, looking at various bikes and the features the bikes had, as well as the price, was something he would not have done had we walked into the store bearing only my credit card. If I were paying for his bike, he would have no reason to want anything less than the very best bike in the place.

Over the past week he and I have had numerous discussions about his impending purchases. He wanted a new bike, a video iPod, and a digital camcorder. He does not have the money saved top buy all of those things. So our conversations went round and round, weighing the pros and cons of each purchase. Him lamenting the fact that he can’t buy everything, because he wants everything.

We have had some enlightening conversations.

“Well, you buy everything you want.” he said to me at one point.

“Do I? Like what?” I had asked.

“I don’t know, but you are always going to the store.” he had replied.

“Yes, it is my greatest desire to buy a 12 pack of toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and food for my family to eat.” He had laughed and I continued on, “I think you are confusing things we need with things we want. I want lots of things, but I don’t buy them. At least I don’t buy them without careful consideration. And usually in the end I decide that I don’t want most of them after all.”

It is a tough lesson. But one that is important for children to learn. If you, as a parent, are the one holding the purse strings the responsibility falls on you to say yes or no to your children’s wants and purchases. They have no reason to really think deeply about what they want. And if they can’t have something, well then it is your fault. You are the one who is blocking them from the very thing that they have decided will give them the ultimate amount of happiness, at least that day.

As parents we want to give our children everything. We want them to be happy. But being parents really is more than that. It is giving them the skills to succeed later in life.

I don’t want my children growing up with a sense of entitlement that I see so many of their peers afflicted with. I want them to understand budgeting and assessing their wants. I want them to have the joy that can only come from purchasing a long desired item with money they earned through their own hard work. I want them to have the pride of ownership that can only come from getting something all on their own.

I remember the thrill of going to the store with my purse full of cash I had saved. I remember my first large purchase. I want that memory for my children.

Comments (7)

May 8, 2007

So They Need To Do Chores: Elementary School Years

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Chores — Chris @ 10:30 pm

Remember the mantra: It’s a learning experience.

Sometimes good enough is perfectly okay.

6, 7, and 8 yr olds:

This is the making your life a little bit easier age. They are not able to do most of the chores to the standard that you would do them yourself, but it is important to remember that a) they are learning, and b) better to have to deep clean a bathroom once a week that has been lightly cleaned all week long than a bathroom that has just been let go.

They can do any of the chores mentioned for the younger children, plus any of these.

move all chairs out from kitchen table and sweep underneath it
light vacuuming (mine usually do the area rug in the family room)
sweep staircases inside of house
light bathroom cleaning using clorox type wipes , damp mop bathroom floor, (this is our light daily cleaning. I wet the mop and hand it one of them and they will do the half bath floor with it)
sweep front porch, to include shaking off the welcome mat
making sure all outdoor toys are put away nightly
empty wastebaskets into main trash bin

9, 10,11 yr olds:

At this age they are ready to take on simple chores independently and do them effectively.

They can do any of the chores mentioned for the younger children, plus any of these.

preparing simple foods themselves, (they can handle knives and the stove at this age, just make sure you have taught them the proper way to use these items– making salad, garlic bread, grilled cheese)
being responsible for getting all their dirty laundry to the laundry room on a given day and then putting it all away where it belongs
seasonal outdoor chores: raking leaves including using a small hand held leafblower, shoveling walkways, weeding
Vacuuming thoroughly
Deep cleaning bathrooms
Using windex to wash windows
Clean the inside of the car (vacuuming, using window cleaner, bring any errant toys or clothes into the house)
rinse dinner dishes and load into dishwasher, turn dishwasher on
Feed pets, or be responsible for outdoor bird feeders

12yrs old and up:

Yessss!

At this age most children are capable of handling most household chores after a little bit of instruction.

They can do any of the chores mentioned for the younger children, plus any of these.

Keeping their rooms clean, organized, and tidy– completely on their own
Following recipes and cooking simple meals on their own ( probably not a rib roast and several side dishes, but things like macaroni and cheese, cookies, brownies, pancakes are some examples)
Seasonal outdoor chores: mowing the lawn, using the leaf blower, using the snow blower (I have found that children this age love to use motorized things like these. It makes them feel older and responsible.)
Some people might allow their children to actually use the washer and dryer at this and be responsible for their own clothes. I happen to be too much of a control freak about stains to hand this over.
Babysitting younger siblings. I am not sure if this counts as a chore per se, but I feel as though it is something that should be recognized and rewarded.

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