Instilling Values | Mommy Points

June 28, 2009

A Summer Pastime

Filed under: Ages 10-12 years, Children, Chores, Instilling Values, Kindness Of Spirit, parenting — Chris @ 1:10 am

What kids haven’t dreamed of setting up a lemonade stand on a hot summer day?

My children and some of their friends set one up this weekend.

They built the stand themselves with scrap wood and nails. My word, the number of nails they used. Let’s just say we should huddle under this should a tornado come through.

After sitting out there the entire afternoon they closed up shop. They had made $28. Divided by 7 children who were working the stand, they each left with $4. It probably works out to be less than 50 cents per hour for all of the time that they invested. They could not have been happier.

I love seeing their entrepenurial spirit. Remember last week they made flyers for a lawn service? One of our neighbors called them and they weedwhacked and used the leaf blower on his lawn. I’m not sure how many people are interested in hiring a trio of boys under 11, but even one customer thrills them to no end. They worked so hard on that lawn, so invested in their work, that the owner gave them a rather hefty tip. They accepted their money graciously and the moment they stepped off his front lawn and onto thesidewalk they began screaming, “WooooooHooooo Look at our money, Mom!”

I was reminded of the post I wrote a couple weeks ago about teenagers not getting traditional jobs this summers, instead carving out jjobs for themselves. Maybe this is where that entrepenurial spirit starts– lemonade stands and lawn mowing.

I wonder if Steve Jobs ever had a lemonade stand?

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March 23, 2009

Using Chores As A Learning Tool, or Some Might Say Punishment

Filed under: Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Chores, Discipline, Instilling Values, parenting — Chris @ 8:41 am

Yesterday my 8 yr old son broke the glass in the front door of our house. He threw a golf ball at it. For reasons that are only known to an 8 yr old and defy any sort of adult reason or logic.

The glass needs to be replaced and is expensive. Just how expensive I don’t know yet, but I am willing to bet it is more than a little boy can pay for out of his allowance. So he will be doing extra chores to “earn money” to pay for the glass. I am trying to come up with extra chores, ones that don’t already belong to anyone else.

So far I have:

Sweep the foyer every evening
Put shoes away in shoe basket
Sweep front steps
Vacuum the downstairs living area rug
Tidy up downstairs living area (toys away, books away, replace throw pillows to couches)

These are all things that I do on a daily basis. I know that there must be some other chores I can have him do, but I can’t think of any!

I am also trying to decide how I am going to assign the chores a monetary value. Or if I am going to assign one. I am a little conflicted about this one. I will update you all as I decide.

Has anyone else done something similar with their children?

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December 30, 2008

Winter Chores

Filed under: Children, Chores, Discipline, Instilling Values, parenting — Chris @ 12:04 am

A couple of weeks ago we had a huge ice storm that brought down trees and branches, scattering them all over the yard. Then the weather decided to dump snow on top of the ice and the frozen branches stuck in the ice. And I promptly forgot all about the mess that lurked beneath the nice crisp white layer of snow. I love that about winter where I live. Just when things turn ugly and dead looking a nice thick white blanket of snow comes along and covers everything over making it look clean and new.

This weekend the weather warmed up. The snowbegan to melt. And then rain began to fall, which effectively cleared all of the snow. And revealed to us once more the horror of the branches.

We knew that the warm weather would not last and so we had to go out and drag all the branches away. Chop up the larger limbs with a chainsaw and drag them off. We made a big bonfire in the backyard in our firepit.

The kids had to pitch in and help, or rather they were expected to help. There wasn’t a long debate or discussion with them. We presented it very matter of fact at the breakfast table. And they were more than willing to get outside and help. I have to think it was more than just the lure of roasted marshmallows and hot chococolate when they were done.

This is the pay off of doing chores. I have seen children of my friends fall into the trap of thinking that they do not have to help out ever. That they have every right to refuse. That chores are somehow optional, not to mentioned completely antiquated.

Sure, there have been times when my kids have bickered over a job, or failed to do it properly and I had to go over it with them again and again. Really, is cleaning a toilet THAT difficult? Times when I have thought that it would just be easier, and more peaceful, to do it myself.

But then I would have missed the most important part lesson that having chores teaches. And that is the attitude of service.

So stick it out. I swear there is a pay off coming. Probably when you least expect it.

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July 19, 2008

How Much Is Too Much?

Filed under: Instilling Values, parenting — Chris @ 8:44 am

Last week when I was on one of the many. many airplanes that I crisscrossed the country in, I had a conversation with a man sitting next to me. His children were both grown, in their mid twenties, and he was lamenting the fact that neither of them had jobs, real jobs. They were both still sort of floating through life, having graduated college, but still having no idea what to do for themselves. he said it isn’t so much that they haven’t found their dream career yet, as it is that they are not even looking for it.

He blamed himself. He said that when he was younger he had to work his way through college. He had no choice but to get a job after college. In fact, it was never even a viable option to NOT get a job. But yet with his son and his son’s peers, not having a job is completely acceptable. He attributes this to parents giving their kids everything resulting in a generation of kids who feel a sense of entitlement.

It was a great conversation. It is tempting to give our kids everything, simply because we love them and want to give it all to them. We want their lives to be easier than ours were. But at what point does helping our kids really hinder them?

Maybe by giving our kids everything we are missing out on giving them the biggest gift of all.

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April 29, 2008

Spring Cleaning

Filed under: Children, Chores, Instilling Values, Keeping It Real, Making It Work, parenting — Chris @ 9:31 am

I really like to clean. For the record there are plenty of other things that I don’t like to do. Like fold laundry and put it away. Pull weeds in my garden. Unload the dishwasher.

This past weekend I did a deep cleaning of our family room. I wasn’t expecting it to take quite as long as it did. Mostly because we clean in there every single day. Vacuum every night. Dust every couple days. But when I pulled the couch away from the wall, I was shocked by the amount of dust that was back there. Also small toys seems to have been back there procreating and plotting to take over our home.

What I did do was involve the kids in the cleaning this time. I had them help go through the bookcase and take out some books that we never use and can donate. They went through the small toy baskets and got rid of the broken matchbox cars, put toys back in their proper homes, and decided that some of the baby toys can also go to other homes.

I let them help wash the windows and dust all the bookcases. They replaced the CDs and DVDs into their proper cases and we got rid of the scratched ones that no longer work. They used the Magic Eraser to wash spots off the walls and baseboards. They removed the covers from the throw pillows for washing and vacuumed out the windowsills. They used the crevice tool to vacuum in between the couch cushions.

In short they saw all that was involved to really deep clean a room, something I thought happened magically until I had a house of my own.

And you know what? Having them help made the job easier and more fun, for me anyway. Over the past week I have noticed that they seem to have a vested interest in the upkeep too.

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April 22, 2008

Earth Day!

Filed under: Instilling Values, parenting — Chris @ 8:24 am

How will you recognize it?

Today we are as a family trying to have a zero garbage day. Just a fun thing to do and hopefully make the kids realize the amount of garbage that we generate daily. I am curious to see if this little experiment causes them to rethink some of their choices are a continuing basis. Or if they will look at things differently when we are out in the grocery store together.

My friend Kathryn, Daring Young Mom , has a fabulous series of posts about living greener. They are honest, funny, and realistic. Because let’s face it, most of us do not want to weave our own clothing from hemp fibers or give up our cars and bike 40 miles to work. One of the things on her list for living a greener life is to “wean off of bleach by 2010″ That makes me love her a little bit more, because I have a not-so-secret love affair with bleach.

Now if we could just remember to bring the reusable grocery bags back to the store with us, we would be all set.

So tell me, what changes are you making, or thinking of making, this year to live a bit greener?

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March 12, 2008

Co-operation

Filed under: Ages 2-4 years, Ages 5-6 years, Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Chores, Instilling Values, Making It Work — Chris @ 9:02 pm

Sometimes it is just the little things.

Instilling the helper mentality while they are little is so much easier than trying to fix it later when they are older. Even though sometimes it might not seem like help, let them do it anyway.

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January 30, 2008

Going to the The-AY-ter

Filed under: Children, Instilling Values, Just For Fun — Chris @ 11:28 pm

When I was a child I lived in a cozy little suburb close to NYC. I went to Broadway shows frequently. I loved going to the theater. And when I could convince my mother she would take me to the local dinner theater. What could be better than eating a meal AND watching a show. I thought it was the height of sophistication. It was something I had always hoped to pass on to my kids.

But I don’t live so close to Broadway any longer. And holy cow have you seen the prices of tickets to Broadway shows, or even off-broadway shows? Not to mention the traveling to get there. Well, we have never gone.

I have been finding substitutes closer to home lately. We saw Magic Treehouse: the Musical. My kids loved it. We dressed up to make it more special and then got a treat afterward and discussed the show. Earlier this month we saw another musical, The Underground Railroad, which tied in nicely to our history studies this year. Today I brought my younger children to see Henry and Mudge, also a musical. It was fun.

And I have begun looking around for other venues. Theatreworks put on the last two. If you have one of the performances near you, I can say that I highly recommend it. And at $10 per ticket it is comparable to going to the movies. If not maybe a local high school production or community college nearby.

I am hoping to build a love of theater in my children. They already love art museums and history museums. I hope this will help them grow up to be adults who realize the value of the arts.

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January 2, 2008

Teach Your Children (to Lie) Well

Filed under: Instilling Values, On The Web, parenting — Chris @ 12:36 pm

Did you all read this story?

Hardly anything shocks me anymore. I realize that there are people who lie, cheat, scam other people. But this did shock me.

Maybe because it is the mother who helped orchestrate the lie so that her daughter could get free Hannah Montana tickets. She had her six year old daughter write an essay for a contest saying that her father was killed in Iraq.

It angered me on so many levels. First because what about all the children who really have lost their fathers in Iraq or elsewhere.

But also what is this mother teaching her daughter? Why would she want to instill this sort of entitlement in her child? That if you want something it is okay to cheat and lie in order to get it. It is in such sharp contrast to everything that I teach my children.

I also have to wonder how the child felt about being forced to lie. It must have made her feel uncomfortable also. I can remember as a child when my mother would ask me to lie, something I would NEVER, EVER ask my children to do, that I hated every minute of it.

And I just read in another follow-up story that the mother claims she did not know that the essay had to be true. I am not sure how you can try to justify that when the question was “Why do you deserve Hannah Montana tickets?”
Not only is the mother going on television acting shocked that her daughter’s prize has been taken away. She is threatening to take legal action against the sponsors of the contest. Even though she willingly tried to defraud the contest sponsors and provided bogus information about the child’s father. Mostly i feel sad for the littlegirl who has been caught in the middle and has a mother with seemingly no moral compass.

Some days I wonder where this world is going. Seems like we are halfway into that handbasket.

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December 14, 2007

Raising Children with Integrity

Filed under: Children, Instilling Values — Chris @ 11:03 pm

Today I read this article.

The gist of the story is that a contractor was working on a person’s house, that he has been friends with since high school, when he came across a box hidden in the walls. The box turned out to contain Depression Era money totaling $182,00. The bills are so rare, however, that the findings are estimated to be worth $500,000.

And like all things involving money, the story deteriorates from here with the contractor and homeowner fighting over who the money legally belongs to.

One would think it would belong to the homeowner, but the lawyer for the contractor is using the so-called “finders-keepers” law to assert his clients claim. The contractor is asking for 40% of the total value.

I am not sure what I feel about this case other than I think both of the people involved are being greedy. And stupidly wasting money on lawyers instead of working out an agreement themselves. If you come into a windfall like that you are ahead of where you were before not matter what. Suddenly, both people involved feel that they are entitled to money that they didn’t even know existed moments before.

When my husband came home from work tonight I asked him if he had read about the case, he had not, and we began discussing it. Both of us are on the same page. Why wouldn’t you share the money?

One of the things that I hope I instill in my children is to always put people before things. The way that you would feel from sharing that money with a joyful heart, would out weigh anything you could feel by spending it or putting it in the bank.

So how do I work at raising children who hold these beliefs. By modeling the behavior for them. We help our neighbors whenever we can. We involve our children in our charitable contributions, discussing with them that not only are we lucky to have what we have, but with this good fortune also comes responsibility.

And I am definitely teaching them to do their own home renovations.

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