A month or so ago Mary, from Owlhaven, offered me a copy of her book, A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family. I jumped at the opportunity, not just because I really like and admire Mary, but Lord knows I could use a little more sanity in my life.
I got the book and, as I often do, I opened it up to a random page and began reading.
I’d love it if my insides matched my outside all the time. I’d love it if I could feel serene all the time instead of just faking serenity. But despite what others assume about me, endless serenity is not my personal reality as a mother… Maybe that’s the heart of patience: refusing to be sucked down into negativity and instead choosing kindness; not avoiding the negative emotions… but resisting them, rising above them, and prevailing over them.
This passage resonated with me. People often comment on how patient I am. And I always laugh. They want to know what my secret is. I tell them honestly, there is no secret, I am just better at faking it.
I tell my children that you can never go wrong with choosing kindness. This is especially important advice for those of us, ahem, who are quick to anger and something I really hope my teenagers take to heart as the walk out the door every day.
When faced with choice of lashing out, it is almost always a better idea to take a deep breath and to react with kindness. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when you think you have been wronged. Even when you think you would feel better by cutting someone else down. In the end, you won’t.
After I read this passage I was hooked on the book. I closed it and started from the beginning.
Mary’s honesty is refreshing and the book is filled with stories of her own family that will make you laugh. Mary dispels the myth that you need to have endless money, space, or patience to raise a large family. I often found myself furiously nodding my head in agreement with what she has written.
Mary has chapters on breaking the Supermom myth, encouraging your children to be life-long friends, parenting hacks, affordable vacation solutions, extra-curricular activities, to name a few. She shares what has worked for her family and for other mothers with many children that she interviewed. Her practical advice will work for you whether you have two kids or twenty kids.
If you are tired of reading books by so-called experts, that advocate certain child rearing theories, but offer no concrete advice, this is the book for you. This book should be a must read for any new mother who is wondering if she will ever be able to handle more than the one baby she currently has. Or for a mother with several small children who thinks she will surely suffocate under the never ending pile of laundry. Or for those of us with large families who are already slugging it out in the trenches, but wondering if there might some new solutions to some old issues.
(Review cross posted at my personal blog. I loved this book so much I just had to share. After all Mother’s day is coming up. Perhaps you know a mother who would love to receive this book. Or maybe you want to buy yourself a little something.)
