This week I read at msnbc that people are returning to tradition this holiday season. No one is going for the latest fads, instead returning to the traditional colors and styles of years gone by.   It isn’t too hard to deduce that people are seeking is the security of the past, a reminder of when times were simpler. 

So this year when you go out shopping you will see more of the traditional items that you might have had in your home growing up, our in your grandmother’s home, and less of the cartoon character Christmas decorations or the passing fads.  Personally I am going to be doing a lot of baking this year, saving money and time spent shopping.   I want to cultivate the traditions that we have had for years and maybe make some new ones since we are in our new home in a new state.

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving, too, in a way that I have not for many years.  I think that is the one silver lining to the downturned economy– the ability to truly be thankful for all that you DO have.  The economy has hit my little family hard.  At first I found myself thinking that it could be worse, not exactly the most upbeat of sentiments.  It has now evolved into thinking about how very lucky, even blessed, that we are.

I  think that most of us like to stick with traditions, but it can be easy to get stuck in the buy-buy-buy rut during the holidays.  This year I will be making and baking gifts  with my kids.  Perhaps dusting off those jam recipes that I haven’t touched in years, baking breads and cakes, making cards.  I can’t help but think that in the long run we will all be better off for it.

I have another child down with the flu.  As soon as one recovers, another one seems to get it.  I suppose this is keeping with the 7-10 day incubation period.  But it is wearing me down.

My 8 yr old spiked a temperature of 104 tonight.  I immediately gave him Advil and an ice pack for his head and slowly but surely the fever came down.  He was even up off the couch an hour or so later looking for some dinner.  Given the way it has progressed with everyone else, I know that the fever will be spiking again and it will be at least another couple days before he can head back to school. 

So if you are wondering where I am,or what I am doing, it involves Lysol, bleach, or excessive amounts of hand washing.  Because when there is nothing that you can really do, you have to find something to do.  Cleaning can be cathartic.

I heard on our local news today that the flu has become so bad in our area that the local ER set up three triage tents outdoors to handle all of the patients.  Not somewhere I want to go.

We just had midterm marking period and my oldest children did extremely well.  All A’s if I can brag a little.  Okay, brag a lot.  I have been working it into conversation everywhere I go. It is just that I am proud of them. Not just for their grades, but because I have witnessed the effort that they have put forth in the past six weeks.

Tonight my oldest son asked me, “So what do I get for having such good grades?”

I was taken by surprise. “Get? What do you mean, get?”

“Is there a reward for getting all A’s?”

“Your reward is your knowledge.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Yes, really.” I answered.

He wasn’t impressed.

I guess other kids get monetary incentives for getting good grades. On one hand, I’m just not sure that is somewhere I want to go. On the other hand, they have worked hard and maybe some sort of reward is justified and would encourage them to continue the hard work.

So tell me, what do you do? Do you dole out rewards for good grades? Are good grades just the expectation?

I am great at procrastinating.  Really, I am.  Some might say that I have elevated it to an art form.  I am always the parent scrambling to get a costume right before Halloween or putting up the holiday decorations right up until the actual holiday.

But this year?  I am turning over a new leaf.  I have already ordered new Christmas stockings for my kids.  I have been wanting to do this for a few years, the stockings we currently have were cheap and are literally falling apart.  But every year I wait until it is too late to get it done.  This year I am ready.  They are embroidered with their names and everything. 

Even though I have boxes of Christmas decorations still packed from our move, most of them are so old and dusty (specifically thinking of the miles of faux garland I have) that I really want to replace them.   I also don’t need half (a quarter?) as many decorations since this house is much more, shall we say, cozy than our last house. 

I am getting excited to decorate a new house for the holidays and planning crafts to do with the kids.

I have been browsing through the Martha Stewart website.  I love that website.  In spite of all evidence to the contrary, it makes me feel as though with some paper, a little grosgrain ribbon, and a glue gun I too can conquer the world.   Or at least recreate it in miniature.

What?  What’s that you say?  There are two more holidays between now and then?  I suppose sticking my fingers in my ears and saying, “LA LA LA I can’t hear you,” would not be keeping with my newly turned over leaf.

I guess I had better start looking at Halloween and Thanksgiving ideas first…

I am sure that by now many of you have seen this viral video.  But oh my, I can not stop laughing.  We must have watched this twenty times this weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikTxfIDYx6Q

Enjoy.  It might make  your Monday morning a little brighter.

Saturday is Worldwide Day of Play, according to Nikelodeon 

The children’s television station will go dark for three hours  in order to encourage children to get off the couch and out playing.  I am guessing no one thinks these same kids will just change the channel? 

Ok, call me a cynic, but three hours?  Is that going to make a difference for those children who are allowed to watch tv all day?  Who is letting their kids sit around all day on a Saturday and watch television anyway? 

They have a 29 page downloadable PDF with ideas for how you can spend the three hours.  It has quite a few games, with instructions, and other ideas that would be fun for any day, not just a special worldwide day of play.

The prevailing parenting wisdom of our time is that children should be punished by using things like time-outs and rewarded with praise.  All of the so-called experts recommend this approach.  It pretty much sums up the way parent.  I ignore a lot of things, one could argue withholding my affection, set consequences for unwanted behavior when there are no natural consequences, and lavishly praise when it is deserved.

In an article in the New York Times, author Alfie Kohn asserts that  by withholding love and praise when a child does something wrong is conditional parenting, i.e. I only love you when you are doing what I want you to do.  The primary message of all types of conditional parenting is that children must earn a parent’s love.

Hmmm, I never thought about it that way.  And, for the record, I am not sure that I buy it anyway. 

I do respect Alfie kohn and loved his book Punished By Rewards, the theme of which is that doing a job well should be its own reward.  Isn’t that something that our mother’s used to say to us?  But nowadays children are rewarded at every turn and there is compelling evidence that shows the more you reward someone for their behavior the less likely they are to perform when there isn’t a reward.  Our children have become conditioned to expect a prize for doing things that they should  be doing anyway.   And while I can rant on and on about this, removing perceived rewards from everyday parenting is pretty near impossible, at least for me. 

His latest article in the NY Times is just another variation of this theme.  It has given me a lot to think about, not that time outs are leaving our home anytime soon.  Neither are the consequences imposed for bad grades or rude behavior.  The article points out that while children raised this way (most children?) are more compliant and obedient as children they grow up to like their parents less.  Ouch!  Isn’t that one of those things you secretly fear?  Though honestly I want my children to respect me, to love me, to one day understand where I was coming from, but I don’t have any real desire to be their friend. 

One of the rules in our home is  no phone calls or texting after 10:00pm.  It seems absurdly reasonable to me.  Not so to my teenagers who think it is  none of my business.  We go around and around with the same dialog every few days.  They tell me how mean I am.  I tell them the reasons for my decision.  They reiterate how mean I am.  I threaten to show them exactly what mean is, MISTER.  They roll their eyes.  I remind them who pays the bills.  It is loads of fun, you should try it in your own home.

I wonder what Alfie Kohn would say about it.

Just when you think the only thing on the news is bad news and that the world is filled with evil people, you come across a feel good story like this.

The Maryville Spoofhounds could have won their high school football game against the Cardinals 46-0, but they let the other team score.

Matt Ziesel is a freshman with Downs Syndrome who has sat on the bench while the rest of his team plays.   The coach of the Cardinals approached the coach of the opposing team and asked him for a favor.  Would  he allow Matt to make a touchdown.  The outcome of the game would remain the same, but really what those  boys learned on that field that day will remain with them for the rest of their lives.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78OlZfo76hg

I dare you not to feel all warm and fuzzy watching this video.  And kudos to the coach and players of the Maryville Spoofhounds for showing what kindness, compassion, and sportsmanship is all about.

There is some sort of monster that lives in my house that eats my children’s socks. 

Honestly, that is the only explanation I have for the disappearance.  Every morning I have at least one child whining that they can’t find their socks.  And the laundry is all caught up and folded.  The socks are all in their basket.  But the “good” socks are no where to be found. 

What exactly is the definition of “good?”  It is whatever socks the child has deemed their favorites, shunning all five million other pair that are still perfectly growing dusty in the sock basket. 

It is enough to make me crazy.  Or crazier, as the case may be.

And I have a feeling the sock eating monster snacks on pens as well.

On Friday my daughter’s first grade class had an after-school field trip to see the movie, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.  A movie which does not bear any resemblance to the book, by the way.  The movie is a quasi-cautionary tale about processed foods, a science experiment gone wrong.   That went right over my daughter’s head.

She did, however, notice that the movie was very different than the book and it sparked a discussion about books versus movies and which are better.  For the most part the kids all agreed that the books are better than the movies with some notable exceptions:  Shrek, The Polar Express and Jumanji.  Those are three of our all time favorite movies in our family, and like Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs the movies are only loosely based on the books. 

There are a couple of movies that made me want to scream and throw things at the screen.  Stuart Little was one of them, hated that movie.  Probably because I had such fond memories of reading that book as a child. 

I probably notice it even more often with adult fiction turned into movies.  When I read books that I love, I have such vivid pictures in my head of how the characters should look that I am often disappointed and unable to look past the actor.   My older kids were sorely disappointed by the movie Eragon.  They had loved the book and the movie takes many liberties with the storyline.  They had begged me to buy the DVD and I think they watched it once.