Work Ethic | Mommy Points

June 5, 2009

Summer Jobs and Teens

Filed under: Teen years, Work Ethic, parenting — Chris @ 10:52 am

I remember when I was a teenager every summer my friends and I would be scrambling to find summer jobs. I worked at the local mall in clothing stores, I worked in a furniture store, I babysat, I cleaned boats at the marina. My friends had similar experiences. I remember that the most coveted job was being a lifeguard at the beach. This was back in the days of worshipping the suntan, remember. All in all, summer jobs were not that difficult to find.

With the economy taking a nose dive jobs that were typically reserved for teenagers are now being taken by adults who are out of work. Businesses that typically have hired teenagers are closing down or not hiring extra help.

According to an article at MSNBC:

The Bureau of Labor Statistics’ most recent data shows a continued decline in the number of teens participating in the job market. In April, 38.1 percent of teens ages 16 to 19 were in the labor force, down from 41 percent in the same month last year… the numbers don’t tell the whole story. Some are bypassing paying jobs to volunteer. Others are starting their own businesses. And still others are creating their own work arrangements, such as babysitting for family members…

In other words, teens are doing more than your typical minimum wage job at the mall. Many teens have found their entrepreneurial spirit, realizing that for the same amount of effort they could make their own hours and more money, often doing something that they enjoy more.

If my neighborhood could be taken as a small sample, I have recently had fliers left on my door for yard services, pet sitting, baby sitting, house cleaning, and pool cleaning. Most of which were left by enterprising teenagers. Who says teens nowadays are lazy?

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February 26, 2009

Chores, The Benefits for Children

Filed under: Children, Chores, Work Ethic, parenting — Chris @ 11:28 pm

Doing household chores teach children responsibility, self-sufficiency, and what it means to be a contributing member of the family. All of these things are important life skills.

Being Responsible:

Learning to take care of your own things. Get yourself and your stuff ready for school or activities. Helping to take care of a pet. Helping with the laundry. These are all examples of life skills that are important for children to learn.

My 8 yr old can get himself completely ready for his baseball practices. All parts of his uniform ready and on him. His bag packed. His water bottles filled. Granted, at his age I still do the quick run down with him as we leave the house, mostly because I don’t want to be the one driving like a mad man back from the field to get the missing glove or bat.

Feeling Like a Contributing Member of the Family:

When children do chores they feel like they are a meaningful part of the family. Younger children especially love to help with things like emptying the dishwasher, putting laundry in the dryer. Studies have shown that even older children who complain abut doing chores secretly like it because it makes them feel like they are valuable.

Being Self-Sufficient

Learning life skills that will carry them through the rest of their lives. I am sure that most of met someone in college who had no idea how to work a washing machine, cook the simplest of foods, or know that the cleaning fairy does not really exist. I know I don’t want my children to be that person!

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July 13, 2008

Thinking About College?

Filed under: Children, On The Web, Saving, Work Ethic — Chris @ 11:50 pm

I have a niece and nephew currently in college. Do you have any idea how high tuition is at private colleges these days? It is absurdly, frighteningly costly. When my sister-in-law told me how much money she was paying for their schools I may have clutched my chest and fallen over on the ground.

Many schools are doing things to make tuition affordable to middle class families. Harvard and Yale have both increased the assistance they give to middle class families. This is possible in part because of their huge endowments.

But another school has a unique approach. Berea in Kentucky has no tuition. The school motto is “the best education you can’t buy.” Every single student has a 4 year tuition scholarship. Students are required to work 10-15 hours per week doing jobs that help keep the campus running. Food is grown at the campus farm. Talk about instilling a strong work ethic in young adults. Working toward your own education is really a great idea.

There are income requirements in order to be accepted to the college. In a nutshell, you have to be poor. You also have to be smart. Most of the students graduated within the the top 20% of their class.

I still have a few more years before my ~~money~~ oldest child goes off to college. I have a little while longer to keep plugging ears and singing “La la la, I can’t hear you.”

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January 4, 2008

Again I Need To Learn

Filed under: Ages 7 -9 years, Children, Chores, Discipline, Keeping It Real, Making It Work, Work Ethic — Chris @ 5:49 pm

I often ask my children why they are hell bent on learning the same lesson over and over again. You know, why can’t they just learn their lesson the first time and move on with their life?

Today I realized that perhaps I need to heed the same advice.

My 7 and 8 yr old sons share a bedroom and they have their own attached bathroom. They are responsible for keeping both clean and tidy. I wash the floors and scrub out the tub, but I think that they are perfectly capable of wiping down the sink and toilet with cleaning wipes, rinsing their toothpaste out of the sink, making their beds, etc. I assure you that they are not toiling in the Gulag.

And I do remind them, almost daily to do it. And always I am met with assurances that it has been done.

I rarely have a need to go into their bathroom. And even less of a reason to closely examine it. This afternoon I was in there gathering towels and bath rugs, doing the hard cleaning like washing toothpaste off the walls. Why, in the name of all that is good and noble in this world, why do they get toothpaste on the walls? And I noticed a smell in the room. A yucky, dirty, am I in a public restroom sort of smell.

I looked over at the toilet and at first glance it looked clean. Then I lifted the lid. Oh Lord have mercy, I have never ever seen anything like that in my life. IN MY LIFE.

I ~~screamed my head off~~ called for my boys and pointed to the toilet, because I seriously had no words. Not a one.

They looked at the toilet, looked at me, looked at each other and offered up no explanation.

“Whaaa-aaaaat happened?” I finally managed to get out.

Still they looked confused.

“Have you been cleaning the toilet and around the toilet like you are supposed to?”

“We thought we just had to clean the lid.”

At this point my head may have exploded off of my shoulders and rolled right out of the room. So we had another lesson on how to properly clean, along with the helpful suggestion that if they worked on their aim perhaps they wouldn’t need to clean so much.

This experience was as much a lesson for me. I need to hold them accountable more often. To not feel bad about checking up on them every day and examining their chores carefully to make sure that they are done the way that they are supposed to be done. To make sure that I take the time to check so that nothing gets that out of control again.

And now I must go scrub my eyes with some bleach.

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November 27, 2007

Positive Reinforcement

Filed under: Basics, Children, Chores, Instilling Values, Kindness Of Spirit, Work Ethic, parenting — Chris @ 12:33 am

Have you ever noticed that it is really easy to ignore your children when they are being good? And then as soon as they act up, or do something naughty you come right down on them? I know this can’t just be me.

But some days it seems like an impossible task “catching” them being good. Other times I am too focused on the negativity that swirls around like a virus.

Tonight my oldest son was cleaning up the kitchen area, like he does every night. Generally he sweeps, cleans off the table, fights with his siblings while he is doing it because he doesn’t understand why they are so messy and clearly they are doing it just to torment him. Clearly.

So he was cleaning up and I was dealing with younger children having baths and co-ordinating showers. And searching the house for discarded bath towels, because apparently no one can ever bring them downstairs to the laundry room after using them. Even though I ask them every. single. time.

He called to me that he was done cleaning up. I called back to him thanking him for doing it. And really thought nothing of it again.

Right before he went up to bed we were talking in the kitchen . I happened to glance around the kitchen and notice that all the pots and pans were gone. He had hand washed all of them, dried them, and put them all away. He had wiped down the stove and counter tops, and had put all of the dishes in the dishwasher. This is completely unprecedented.

I interrupted our conversation right then to tell him how proud of him I was. How impressed I was at the amount of effort he had put forth unasked. I hugged him tight, though it embarrassed him slightly, and told him how proud I was.

He was beaming.

It was a good reminder for me to work on praising the positives. Turns out you catch more than just flies with honey.

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October 8, 2007

Instilling the Chore Habit

Filed under: Children, Chores, Work Ethic, answering your questions — Chris @ 8:13 am

I was on the phone chatting with a friend a few weeks ago when my 12 year old came over and asked if he could carry his clean laundry up to his room and put it away.

“Sure,” I had said and went on to continue my conversation.

My friend interrupted, “Wait a minute. Did he just ask if he could put his laundry away? Of his own free will, he is going to put his laundry away?”

I had laughed.

“No, I am serious. You must blog about your secret,” she said.

I assured her that I have no secret. Yet every time I have spoken with her since she asks me when I am going to blog about it.

Last night I really started thinking about it, both why it seems odd that my son would willingly do chores and why he does so. I can only guess that it is because we have instilled in the children from an early age that chores are part of life in our family. That you pitch in and help because you are a part of the team.

From the earliest ages we have our children contribute. My two year old helps clean up the table, carry plates to the sink, sweep the floor. Though his “help” often isn’t really help and makes more work for me, and though I sometimes cringe when he tosses a breakable plate into the sink, expecting his help now means that he will just grow up accustom to to helping out.

As a funny aside, in every restaurant that we were in on our vacation he would take his napkin and brush all the crumbs off of the table onto the floor and ask, “Where is the sink?” or “Where is the garbage can?” He was incredulous that someone else, the waitress, was going to do his job.

So for my older children there is no question in their minds about whether or not they will help or do chores that I ask of them. Does this mean that they are perfect and gladly skip around the house with dust rags and mops, singing song while they work? Of course not! They are children, or maybe I should more accurately say that they are human. Does anyone really enjoy mopping the kitchen floor or cleaning the toilet? Sometimes they moan, or complain, heck sometimes I do too, but in the end they do their jobs and move on. No bribery, yelling, cajoling, threatening is required.

Start the chore habit early when they actually want to help and it will become a habit for life.

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September 19, 2007

No rest for the weary, or the sick, or mothers in general

Filed under: Children, Keeping It Real, Making It Work, Work Ethic, parenting — Chris @ 3:50 pm

When you are a mother of small needy people, there is never a day off. No matter how crummy you feel. No matter how much you really just want to crawl under a big blanket and watch mindless television there is someone who wants to watch something else and climb on you, and most likely steal your blanket to make a fort.

And you will lay there on the couch, shivering, watching an episode of Dragon Tales that you can already recite by heart, because at least they are leaving you alone.
But you know what? Now that I have some older children and we have chores, those little people are much more self sufficient. Floor needs sweeping after dinner? Done. Dishes in the dishwasher? Done. Vacuuming the family room? Done. Toys picked up and put away? Done. All without me having to say a thing. They know what is expected of them and they behave accordingly.

Not that they are perfect angels who joyfully scrub toilets for fun, far from it. But they now recognize that there are jobs that need to be done in order for the house to run smoothly. I think before we had chores, when I did it all myself, they didn’t even realize what needed to be done. You mean the clothes don’t wash and fold themselves? The dish fairy doesn’t come and clean the dishes?

So last night when I was feeling under the weather, my children stepped up. Even going beyond what is normally expected of them. My 11 yr old went upstairs and got pajamas out for my youngest two children and brought them down to me. And then when it was time for them to go to bed he offered to read them their bedtime stories. My 12 yr old cleaned up the kitchen much more thoroughly than he ever does on a normal night.

They were proud of themselves for contributing.
So while mothers may never get a day off for being sick, I have realized that I can now be partially off. Some of it because of the ages of my children, but most of it because they know what they should do. And I’d like to think that it has given them a greater awareness of all that I do.

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July 30, 2007

Little Helpers

Filed under: Ages 2-4 years, Ages 5-6 years, Children, Ideas, Work Ethic, parenting — Chris @ 11:18 pm

Sometimes we forget that our youngest children can be good helpers. I really hate shucking corn. It is just so messy.

But guess what? My little kids love to do it. For them it is like unwrapping a present. My 2 yr old always seems surprised that there is corn inside, as if it is just pure luck. Each one he holds up and exclaims, “CORN!”

And so the job gets done quickly. They feel like they had an important part in contributing to dinner. And they don’t even complain about helping to clean up all the corn debris on the floor.

It is win win for all of us.

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July 15, 2007

Top Ten Chores Kids Are Doing

Filed under: Children, Chores, Making It Work, Work Ethic — Chris @ 10:58 am

1. Wash dishes
2. Do homework
3. Read a book
4. Clean room
5. Make bed
6. Take care of pets
7. Set the table
8. Practice instrument
9. Help cook
10. Water plants

I was reading this list on the handipoints site this morning and wondered how everyone else’s children stacked up to these chores.

Collectively my children only do three of these top ten chores. We don’t have pets. The few plants that I do have that are clinging to life in spite of me, I water. Homework and reading I don’t really consider to be “chores”

What are the top ten chores in my house?

1) Unload dishwasher

2) Vacuum family room

3) Clean off breakfast room table

4) Sweep under table

5) Make your own bed

6) Straighten up mudroom closet

7) Mow lawn

8 )Carry groceries in from car and put away

9) Clean up all outdoor toys

10) Clean downstairs half-bath

Except for mowing the lawn, which is only done by my older children (10 and up), these chores are done by ages 6 and up. Children are amazingly capable if we allow them to help.

Though we did just have an incident at my house this past week where a child who was responsible for cleaning up the family room was shoving all the toys under the furniture rather than putting them away. I am not really sure why he chose to do this, it would have been just as easy to put them in their baskets where they belong. Not to mention the emotional stress he must have felt about doing something “wrong” and then getting caught. And then having to deal with the GINORMOUS pile of toysthat I dragged out from under the furniture and left in the center of the room for him.

I was really annoyed by it too. And my husband, having to bear the brunt of my annoyance, said “Well, it is your job to check up on them and make sure they are doing their jobs correctly, right?”

And then I killed him. Okay, not really. I grudgingly admitted that he was right and my annoyance really should be directed at myself. And realized that I do need to check up on my children, even if only doing random spot checks. Because they are children and it is human nature to take short cuts and slack off.

What sort of chores do your children do? And how do you make sure they are doing them properly?

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June 7, 2007

Carefree Summer Days… or Not

Filed under: Basics, Children, Chores, Ideas, Instilling Values, Making It Work, Work Ethic — Chris @ 11:07 pm

How do you strike a balance between summertime fun and the work that needs to be done in order for the house and family to survive?

I have found that with a little advanced preparation the balance is less of a struggle to maintain.
It was definitely easier when my children were younger. Letting laundry go for a week when it was 5 or 6 loads was not as big of a deal as it is now with 25-30 loads, because I now have more kids who insist on growing and now have bigger clothes.

Planning ahead for meals was not a big deal when 4 slices of bread, a bit of peanut butter, and one sliced apple could be a meal in a pinch. This morning I took out a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread and was wondering what I could serve with it to stretch it since I knew it wouldn’t be enough. And my kids are mostly young still, I fear for the future.

All of this means that in order for us to have an enjoyable summer we have to be even more organized as a team. More organized than we usually are, a level I describe as organized chaos. No one likes to go out for a day at the beach and come home to a messy house, or far worse, according to my children, nothing to eat.

In the winter months I am rather lax with meal planning. Sure I have a list of potential meals for the week, but not for specific days. And often I’ll decide to make things that aren’t on the list instead. But we tend to hibernate in the winter, and I can peruse the refrigerator and freezer until something strikes my fancy.

When I am planning meals for the week during the summer, however, I think about what we are going to be doing for the week.

Do I need cold cuts for sandwiches to take to the beach? Sandwiches on hard rolls seem to withstand the most abuse in the cooler. Peanut butter and jelly on regular bread is never eaten. My children prefer to complain mightly about their hunger pangs rather than eat soggy jelly bread. Can’t say I blame them.

Do I want some snack size chip bags? My older kids hate the way the younger ones put their sandy hands into the bag, so when we go to the beach I always buy single serving size.

Are we planning a day trip somewhere that would have us arriving home right at dinner time? Should I do a crock pot dinner or make a cold pasta salad to go along with something grilled quickly?

And so as much as my children think the summer should be filled with hour after hour of leisure time, ostensibly recovering from their overburdened work filled school year, they are put to work for the greater good. Do they complain? Sometimes more than others..

“You can either help me. Or you can sit around while I do everything. And by the time I finish doing everything we might not have anytime left to do the fun things. or I might be too tired to drive you anywhere. Your choice.”

And probably it is no surprise that when I put it like that, they decide to pitch in, even unasked.

As a result our summer days feel long, lazy, and carefree.

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