Comments on: Being a Quitter

By: Cindy

Cindy — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 15:10:01 +0000

If we sign our kids up for an activity, they are expected to complete it no matter how boring it ends up being or how disinterested they are in it. Once that duration is up, they can never sign up for it again if that is their wish. It’s about commitment to the group. We also expect them to finish things they have started and be fairly pleasant about it and not make everyone else miserable as well.

There are exceptions at times… they are few and far, far between and always are a specialized circumstance.

By: angie

angie — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 01:38:00 +0000

I am torn here. I have a 17 year old who was allowed to quit gymnastics at 7, and she has been kicking herself for years about it. She was forced to stay in swimming for 5 years, going from a poor swimmer to a proficient one. Now that she is about to graduate from High School, she laments not being great at anything, and I regret having let her quit those sports as well as not try hard enough at her academics and music studies. I think parents should make children stay in activities, especially when the child doesn’t express an interest in anything. They will be mad at the time, but it is nothing compared to the despair later when they can’t do anything.

By: PamS

PamS — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:37:02 +0000

I agree with your theory entirely and that is how it has played out here.
The tryouts and making the team thing are most important to me.
If they took a spot from another kid who wanted to play – they MUST finish the season. Luckily it hasn’t happened much … and Alice you are right too – only once I agreed to sign Youngest Son up for Boy Scouts. It was something I just knew wasn’t really for him – once he discovered I was right (again) I let him drop it!

By: Wendy

Wendy — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:49:26 +0000

Our rules are similar to yours. There have been a couple time, when the kids were younger, that we (well, I) signed them up for something that I thought they would like, but then clearly didn’t for whatever reason. In these cases, when the decision was more mine than theirs (or I at least knew they did not fully understand what this was all about – which makes it my mistake, not theirs), I’ve let them quit. I’ve seen several parents force a kids into an activity they clearly do not want to do, (and based on their age, probably did not choose to do) and it is ugly and painful to watch!

By: Alice@Supratentorial

Alice@Supratentorial — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:28:24 +0000

I pretty much have the same philosophy as you, although my son is much younger so it hasn’t been an issue yet.

I’d also say I’d take the kid’s personality into consideration. If it’s a kid who usually sticks with things but tries something and really hates it I’d be more likely to let them quit than one who wants to quit anything that gets too hard.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:27:14 +0000

For us once they have signed up and started the activity they must finish it. My 6 year old prissy girl begged to do T-ball this year and then realized it wasn’t her thing, we made her finish the season. She never has to play again but she had to finish what she started. When my now 12 year old “sporty spice” daughter begged to take dance at the age of 4 we let her. She hated it and begged to quit, I reminded her that she had to finish it because I already signed her up then she quickly asked “when are you going to sign me down?!” She finished the year and even did a recital, but hasn’t stepped one foot in a dance studio since.

By: liz

liz — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 13:55:43 +0000

My son, like your kids, has to finish the class or season.

By: Benny R

Benny R — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:45:34 +0000

Everything these days is all about “give it to me now”.. Look at TV.. You have a show come on, then you have 5 mins of advertisments, all shoving something at you, and then back to the TV.. That tells kids “ok i want something, give it to me, or i will go and buy it and have because i saw it, and i want it now”.. I society is seriously materialistic..
Ask any school teacher the general problem is students not being able to focus or concentrate for 15 minutes at a time straight in general classes.
Kids need that awful word NOW more than ever, discipline. YOu choose it, you do it and you finish it.Unless they are getting bullied or being made to feel bad personally, I would agree with other people that say they must finish it. A quiter will quit everything in life thinking its an escape. But its not, its a way to self defeat that you find out when you get to 30 that all these years you were not really doing anything but avoiding work.. Thats not something i want my kids to have to find out.

By: Jen

Jen — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 23:48:34 +0000

Yup, same deal here. As long as there isn’t something actually wrong with the activity (you know, like daily beatings or it turning out that diving headfirst onto concrete was an activity), they stick out the season/class/session.

However, we’ve had a few things that weren’t time limited. If they expressed a desire to stop, my husband and I would talk about when the next payment point was, the cost of the accessories as someone noted above and present some sort of compromise — part of the deal was “and with what physical activity will you replace this?” When karate was going through a “boring” phase, we allowed as how if they wanted to tell their sensei that they were leaving, they were welcome to do so. Ha. That would only work for shyer kids though, I bet! Karate sort of died a natural death when swimming expanded to fill that time.

By: tammy

tammy — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 19:29:54 +0000

I am with you. If the kids pick an activity they have to stick with it for the season. The made the commitment and i payed the money. if the do not want to sign up again that is okay they just need to find somthing else to do. we feel that active kids are good kids