I am pulling this from the comment section on a recent post:

I’m raising a large family and working out of my home. It is very challenging I’m finding tempers flying lately mine. Any help would be great. I have 4 kids 9,7,4 and a 18 months old .We are having problems listening, yelling,manners, hitting siblings and bedtime with my youngest

Oh, Diane, I hear you. Trust me on this one.

What I have found is that when my children are acting out and misbehaving is that I usually have to look to myself first. My behaviors and actions really do set the tone for the entire house. What is that old saying? If Mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy. Ouch. But true.

The simple answer is PLANNING! PLANNING! PLANNING! Did I mention planning? And probably lowering some of your expectations. I am not sure of your exact situation, but many times I forget how young my older children really are. I am sure you have had the experience of looking at your youngest children and thinking, “Wow, when my oldest was that age I expected x, y, z behavior. Whereas my youngest still seems like a baby now!”

Of course no answer is truly simple. Implementing changes, even when you know that they are for the best is difficult.

Come in closer and I will tell you a secret… I make lists.

I make doing something with my children a priority on my list. Yes, I usually write a list, particularly when I am feeling overwhelmed. To me feeling overwhelmed hampers my ability to prioritize and make good decisions. So I will write on the top of my list, before the chores and such, “Go outside and jump rope with the children,” or whatever it is that they have been wanting me to do. Sometimes it is play a board game which makes me want to gouge my eyeballs out with a blunt butter knife, but they enjoy it so. The game playing, not eyeball gouging.

If I spend some time upfront with my children they are more accepting of giving me some space so I can do work later on uninterrupted. It’s like charging up their neediness batteries. After spending some quality time with me they are charged up and ready to play independently for a while. If they know that they will have their fun time with me at some point they are also willing to be somewhat accommodating if I have to say not now.

It sounds so simple. So easy. But I still struggle with it some days, especially with the school aged children who I often feel should know better and be able to exist independently for longer periods of time.