Do you have rooms in your house that are off-limits to your children?
Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend of mine and my two youngest children were bouncing on my bed. Not jumping, perse, just practicing their somersaults and bouncing a little bit. My friend heard the ruckus in the background and asked what was going on. When I told her, she replied, “Oh, my children are NOT allowed in my room at all!”
Really? An entire room completely off-limits?
When I was a child I remember going over to the houses of friends and finding out that they were not allowed to even walk into their formal living room and dining rooms. They were completely off-limits and kept in pristine condition, like shrines. Shrines for impressing guests with their fabulousness, because they certainly were not shrines for family life.
I remember thinking even back then that it was odd. Every room in my house is accessible to my children. Now, they don’t drag toys into my bedroom and play, but if they gave me a compelling reason why they wanted to play a game in my room I would allow it.
In my house I pretty much have toys in every room where we congregate. I keep them stored neatly in baskets on bookshelves or in cabinets. All of our toys have homes where they belong. This also makes it easier for the kids to clean up when they are done playing. They know where everything belongs.
The coffee table in my formal living room is an antique chest in which I store the children’s wooden blocks. I have found that by keeping the toy clutter to a minimum, I don’t mind having toys in every room. I know many people who don’t allow toys out of the designated playroom, but I have found that my children want me to be near them while they are playing. And I have zero desire to sit in the playroom all day.
I have a small desk and my laptop in the playroom, so sometimes I am in there while the kids are off playing somewhere else. Like, right now. Then there are other times when the kids kick me out.
I do try my best to keep the toys in the playroom, but I don’t mind if they bring toys into the living room or elsewhere as long as they are brought back to the playroom. We do have a toybox in the living room, but it mostly contains baby toys.
There are no rooms off limits to my kids, except when they have friends over. I would rather not have a bunch of little girls running through my bedroom. I would much prefer when the kids have friends over that they stay downstairs, so I can keep an eye on them. If they just have to go into my daughter’s room, no big deal.
Comment by SoMo — April 17, 2009 @ 11:36 am
I grew up with my parent’s room being strictly forbidden to enter (at least we didn’t have any of those “shrine” rooms though, those people may as well get the velvet ropes and have done with it).
I thought I’d do the same with my kid, but no, I’ve allowed her everywhere in the house. Like SoMo, I only forbid certain areas when she has a friend over!
Comment by Brigitte — April 19, 2009 @ 8:06 am
We don’t have any rooms that are off-limits to my 4 year old daughter but we are now trying to define some “toy-free” zones. I am tired of finding toys in my bathroom, bedroom, the garage, the guest room… It’s tough to try to start this now but it’s just the beginning and I’m hopeful. Maybe we’ll have to put that as a goal on her task chart!
I do like the idea of my daughter being able to go where she likes in the home. It’s her home too and I like having an open door policy. That being said, she also knows not to come in mommy and daddy’s room when the door is closed.
Comment by rjbaker — April 19, 2009 @ 10:08 am
I too, do the “toy free” zone. Since we have a multi level house, the main, or “company show” floor cannot have toys. This way, when someone drops by, they see a clean floor, and often assume the rest of the house is the same. NOT! It also makes those special times when we have family reunions or the like, and have balloon or nerf wars and things that normally don’t fly through the house are let loose. My kids treasure those moments because it was so out of the ordinary. As far as “no fly zones?” My each child’s room is their own, and no other child is allowed n without permission. It shows respect for each other and their privacy, which has become more important after a incident involving a group project, my high school son, and 2 young “elves” who wanted to surprise him by coloring on his poster!
Sometimes no fly zones are needed to keep the peace.
Comment by Claire — April 21, 2009 @ 9:35 am