Today is the first day of the season I have threatened to call Santa Claus and tell him to lighten his load and forget about stopping at this house, because only naughty children live here. And they deserve coal, or actually their mother deserves heating oil for putting up with them, it’s cold out!
Of course I live with wise acre children who are much smarter than I was at their ages. I would have been quaking in my tiny Mary-Janes at the prospect of Santa not coming to my house. But no, not my children.
My 8 yr old rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, I’m sure you know his phone number. I doubt he just gives it out to *everyone*. Just think how much he’d be bothered if it were listed in the phone book.”
My 10 yr old said, “Why do you even need to call him. I thought you said he can see everything we are doing.”
And I said, “Yes he can see everything you do. Santa knows who spread the entire tube of toothpaste all over the sink last night and who peed in the wastebasket. I just was going to call and remind him to put you on the right list, you know the list of children getting COAL”
My 6 yr old said, “You mean he can see us even in the bathroom?”
And then I began to stammer, because obviously I have not thought this through enough.
My 6 yr old said, “That is a little bit creepy. Santa watching into the bathroom?”
Never could I have envisioned <em>this</em> scenario before I had children. How the holidays got to be about threats, lies, and a peeping Tom.
Oh your kids are funny!
Comment by Crisanne — November 13, 2007 @ 8:40 pm
Smart kids. I’ve always found that “he sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake” bit unsettling, myslef.
Comment by mel — November 14, 2007 @ 10:39 am
Santa the Voyeur, an indepth investigation this week on 60 Minutes.
At least, you didn’t try to a discussion with new parents about whether they would consider it lying to their child about Santa, IN FRONT OF YOUR 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. I should have stabbed myself in the throat with a fork.
Comment by Wendy — November 14, 2007 @ 2:48 pm
I would have taught my kids a lesson…in a nice pretty package placed a piece of coal and put it under the tree on Christmas morning. When they woke up they would have thought twice about being naughty.
The presents that you really bought them…place them at grandma’s house or the neighbors house. And give them to them the next day when they said they were sorry for the way they acted. They would remember that and try to be better next year. No?
Comment by Natalie — May 25, 2008 @ 9:55 pm