So how do you feel about this?
The University of Chicago, following in the footsteps of other universities, has decided to allow gender-blind housing assignments in their dorm rooms. What this means is that your daughter or son could choose to room with a member of the opposite sex.
Um, yeah. I don’t think so.
Most universities already have co-ed dorms and co-ed floors, so this was just the latest step.
Let me say here that I did share off campus housing with friends of the opposite sex. But it was OFF campus, and we all had our own private bedrooms. It was a perfectly fine experience. In some ways probably better than living with a house filled with other girls. It also provided me, someone who grew up in a house without a father or brothers, a glimpse into the male mind.
Maybe this makes me something of a hypocrite. But then again, I have done lots a couple of things I don’t neccessarily want my children to do.
I suppose my issue with it is that it is a single room and that it is college sanctioned.
But what do you think? Would you allow your college student to room with a member of the opposite sex? Do you think you even have a say since they are over the age of 18?
Bad idea. There is already enough rape on college campuses. This is just a disaster waiting to happen. So no. I wouldn’t let my daughter (or son for that matter) room with someone of the opposite gender.
Comment by Lucinda — July 13, 2009 @ 7:07 pm
Uhmmm. No. Not a good idea. I would not want my son or daughter in an environment like that with the opposite sex at all especially when they need to study and concentrate on their education. The opposite sex are already a great distraction to that age group. One would think a college or university would want to do everything possible to make less distraction and provide more focus on study so their university can be known for helping to empower and educate young minds and have the grades and study environment to show for it.
Comment by Starla — July 14, 2009 @ 12:53 am
I wouldn’t either, assuming I had any say. Even back in the dark ages I remember hearing rumors of a couple colleges like this. Luckily, brainiac (dork) that I was, even though I was intrigued, I was like:
What if HE’S a revolting dork?
What if he’s a loud partier with tons of heinous buddies over all the time?
What if he sees my sanitary napkins?!!
Comment by Brigitte — July 14, 2009 @ 6:11 am
my oldest is away at a college campus with coed floors. Already, we are seeing what a distraction it can be. Coed ROOMS? The only time I roomed with a member of the opposite sex was when I got engaged, then married. Period.
Colleges is an exploration of new found freedom. It is the first time children are away from home with no supervision. Do I want to put mine in a situation that can lead to several bad choices? NO!
Coed Floors – hesitant. Coed ROOM? Heck no.
Comment by Claire — July 14, 2009 @ 1:23 pm
If I am paying for it, then no. Sorry, my money my rules. You want to live however you want then you pay for it.
I don’t understand why college students would want to do this. I have very minimal dorm experience, but from what I remember there was no privacy at all. It is bad enough to worry about other members of the same sex, much less the opposite sex. I just don’t understand why they would want to add that stress. Maybe I am just an old fart and will never understand those youngins.
Comment by SoMo — July 15, 2009 @ 5:03 pm
As long as I pay the tuition, housing, school supply and other random bills, I certainly have a say! I agree – no need to just put them in a bad situation from the start.
Comment by Miriam — July 15, 2009 @ 5:07 pm
Our culture has changed so much that our founding fathers would be shocked – our clothes, our lack of respect, lack of manners, lack of morals, our habit of thinking outrageous behavior by our teenagers is “normal.” “They’re going to do it anyway, so let’s help them do it ’safely’” seems to be our current motto. It seems the culture is being totally turned upside down. The coed dorms are just another example of it all.
Comment by Jenelle — July 16, 2009 @ 5:27 pm
It’s things like this that make me more interested in online college for my children, or local college, with them living at home and coming home every night. I am interested in College Plus for my 4 daughters.
Comment by Liz — July 16, 2009 @ 5:44 pm
I don’t think students should be assigned to gender-blind dorm rooms. But I keep remembering one of my daughter’s high school friends who couldn’t go on the senior class trip because none of the other boys would room with him since he was clearly gay. My daughter and her best friend (also a girl) both offered to room with him; they had all bunked together on Scout trips before and it was no big deal, but the school wouldn’t set that precedent, which we all understood. If my daughter had chosen him for a college roommate, it would have been fine with me and all concerned. But I don’t think rooming with a current boyfriend or girlfriend would be a good idea. Too much intimacy too soon, and too awkward to break up.
Comment by Ro — July 19, 2009 @ 1:03 pm
I think this is U of C’s way of washing their hands of a situation that they got tired of dealing with. Rather than asking transgender students to communicate with the university for a room assignment they are comfortable with (which would probably end up involving more hoops than the student would want to deal with, because university’s love their bureaucracy and making life hard), it decided to say, ‘Fine, live with whoever you want, WE DON’T CARE.’
I think that transgender men and women have to go through a lot once they show that they do not identify as the gender they were born as, but is it really so hard to ask them to provide at least a statement and then allow them to live in a room with a member of the sex s/he does identify with? It would be safer, I think, and healthier for the student’s at U of C.
Comment by Aisha — July 19, 2009 @ 1:28 pm
I can sum up my reaction in just three words. OH HELL NO.
Seriously though, I fail to grasp why anyone would think this is a good idea in any way.
Comment by sherry — July 19, 2009 @ 1:41 pm
Actually gender neutral housing is strictly optional and is offered for those students who are going through transitional gender issues and are not comfortable rooming with another straight male when they are transitioning to being female and would rather room with another person in their same situation. This is obviously rare, but it happens and because college is a time where many students begin to question their sexual identity, the universities are trying to be welcoming to all students who qualify to be admitted. NOBODY has to been in a dorm that is labeled gender neutral so do not worry about it. For most of us, our children will be in regular dorms and assigned to roommates of their same sex. I know it seems like a funny idea, but it is seriously not and I applaud universities for being sensitive to teens at a time when some feel very confused about something that most of us just take for granted.
Comment by amy — July 19, 2009 @ 1:50 pm
For gay and lesbian college students, gender-blind or coed dorm rooms can be a relief. All students should have the option of sharing a room with someone to whom they are not sexually attracted. Gender-blind housing allows these students, and those sympathetic to their situations, to create a supportive, non-sexual living arrangement without emphasizing or segregating based on sexual orientation. Gender-blind or coed dorm rooms aren’t college sanctioned love dens. They are one choice among many available to college students. They aren’t right for everyone, and no one is ever assigned to such dorm rooms without explicitly opting in, but they are right for some students.
Comment by Anonymous — July 19, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
For gay and lesbian college students, gender-blind or coed dorm rooms can be a relief. All students should have the option of sharing a room with someone to whom they are not sexually attracted. Gender-blind housing allows these students, and those sympathetic to their situations, to create a supportive, non-sexual living arrangement without emphasizing or segregating based on sexual orientation. Gender-blind or coed dorm rooms aren’t college sanctioned love dens. They are one choice among many available to college students. They aren’t right for everyone, and no one is ever assigned to such dorm rooms without explicitly opting in, but they are right for some students.
Comment by annon — July 19, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
No way! I can see sharing a house with people of their choosing, but random assignment to a room with someone of another sex? No way! It’s hard enough when the person is the same sex, why complicate it any more?
Comment by Jennifer — July 19, 2009 @ 2:49 pm
I lived in a 4 bedroom house with 6 people (4 girls two guys), but the guys roomed with their girlfriends (both sets which are married now) and we never had any problems. I enjoyee living with guys because it brought an extra sense of safety. However, I do believe I lucked out in the roommate department that time and the likelihood of that happening again is slim. I think it’s very much a bad situation waiting to happen but sometimes it works out. But the working out isn’t the norm.
Comment by Brittany — July 19, 2009 @ 3:21 pm
no no no no no no no no no
Not a good idea
Comment by tammy — July 19, 2009 @ 3:31 pm
Hell to the no! I lived in a co-ed dorm my freshman year; guys on first floor, gals on second. No barrier between the floors. It was fine. There was some hanky panky between some people who lived there, but when it ended it was ugly. I avoided that by dating people in a different dorm!
Comment by Ami — July 19, 2009 @ 3:49 pm
coed dorms are never a good idea, women and men should never reside in the same building in college. coed dorms as freshmen is an even worse idea because they are not mature enough to handle the responsibility.
Comment by kimmie — July 19, 2009 @ 4:00 pm
We did not have co-ed rooms at my college, but we had co-ed dorm buildings. There was ONE floor of ONE building that was female only, no boys allowed in the rooms past 8pm, and my parents told me if I expected them to pay the bills, that was the one we would reserve, so we did. Personally, I was glad. The bathrooms were all down the hall and I didn’t want to be walking around in my robe, headed to the shower, with guys wandering the halls. I can’t imagine actually sharing a room with a guy in college, and I am by no means uptight. Still — no.
Are there actually enough people that are ok with this that the idea is not only suceeding, but thriving and spreading to other schools? I’d love to hear from some parents who think this is ok, and why, and what the experience has been. But for my kids? (male and female) …. nope.
Comment by Kristie — July 19, 2009 @ 4:36 pm
We had co-ed dorms with co-ed floors in college. The only things that weren’t co-ed were the bathrooms and the 2-person dorm rooms themselves. It didn’t faze me a whole lot. It was fine. I’m not sure even co-ed bathrooms would have been horrible.
Still with all that “it’s all O.K.” attitude, sharing a room with a guy I’ve never even met? Nope! I wouldn’t let my daughter go for that arrangement either, even though in my experience sharing an apartment-but-not-room with a guy, they often make the better roommates! I agree. As long as I’m paying for it, that’s not gonna happen!
Comment by Stacey — July 19, 2009 @ 6:40 pm
While I think there could be trouble with random boys and girls being assigned to share rooms, I can think of quite a few male friends that I would have been much happier living with than some of my female friends…
Comment by Allison — July 19, 2009 @ 6:57 pm
Well, what about gay kids? It seems like all the problems people are raising (mostly some variation of wanting to date/sleep with one’s roommate) would actually be helped by co-ed rooms in that situation.
Personally, I’m in favor of having it as an option…not everyone will want it, but some people (gay kids, straight kids who want to live with their significant others but don’t want to live off-campus, siblings, etc.) might.
Comment by Stacy — July 19, 2009 @ 7:48 pm
Coed dorms sounds like a bad idea to me, too. It’s bad enough with immature roommates of the same sex that you happen to be assigned to live with. You don’t even know anything about the moral values of someone of the opposite sex who you randomly get assigned to share a dorm room with. Freshmen and sophomores have a hard enough time making good decisions when they go away to college for the first time. This is just inviting more trouble. My daughter just completed her Junior year of college. She started out this year in a house off campus with 4 other girls that she had only met for 1/2 hour and the first two quarters where not terrific.(The other 4 girls were all slobs and two of them were serious partiers). For the 3rd quarter one of the partiers graduated and a guy took her room. The other 3 girls cleaned up their act and it was a much more enjoyable quarter for my daughter. She is thrilled that the male roommate is coming back for her senior year. No inappropriate behavior took place after he arrived.
Comment by Sharon M. — July 19, 2009 @ 9:37 pm
Absolutely a terrible idea.
Comment by liz — July 20, 2009 @ 9:57 am
Oh no. No, no, no, no, NO!!! I have 3 daughters and there ain’t no way in Hades they’re going to a college that allows that. I can’t believe there are enough parents OK with it to allow it to even happen!
Comment by Kim — July 20, 2009 @ 10:11 am
It’s uncomfortable enough being assigned a random same-sex roommate, let alone co-ed. Where is the benefit here? This seems like a terrible, terrible idea.
Comment by Kristin — July 20, 2009 @ 11:48 am
Wow, that’s a terrible idea. I just graduated college a few years ago, and I can say for sure that’s a bad idea. We had coed dorms and coed floors, and that was no problem. But coed rooms? That’s insane. Those rooms are TINY. That means you’re getting dressed/undressed, sleeping, and just generally living within five feet of this guy the whole year. And you’re both 18. And possibly drunk. Even if you have the will-power of a saint, can you imagine the sexual tension that would build over the course of a school year? Personally I liked my dorm room to feel safe, welcoming, relaxing. The rest of college was intense enough. A coed dorm room doesn’t exactly sound like a safe haven, no matter how nice the guy is.
Comment by Holly — July 20, 2009 @ 12:46 pm
I lived in and residence halls that were co-ed. None of them allowed co-ed rooms but all were co-ed floors. I lived across the hall from a linebacker who would walk down the hall to the bathroom with his towel around his waist.
Some universities allow siblings (co-ed) to live together in apartments, some do not. I think this is fine.
Many of the residence halls are moving from regular double rooms to suites where each student has their own sleeping room and shared living room and bathroom– with this I think it is totally fine to have a co-ed suite.
Comment by Haley — July 20, 2009 @ 3:44 pm
Um, yeah, bad idea! I was on a co-ed floor Freshman year & loved it. But ROOMS?! No way! It’s your one sanctuary! I lived with (and actually now live with) a guy in an off-campus apartment, which also is fine, because we have our own rooms (shared bathrooms)…but I can’t imagine sharing a room unless you are a committed couple…and even then, that’s not really appropriate for a college dorm…
Comment by Maggie — July 20, 2009 @ 4:42 pm
I think the article you linked to does a good job of explaining why students would choose this option. I understand that most people would have an initial reaction of no no no no, but it seems to be implemented very thoughtfully. A woman would NOT be placed in a room with a man that she doesn’t know, both students would have to request the arrangement. If a couple got married at 19 and wanted to remain in campus housing, this might be an option.
Comment by Lindsey — July 20, 2009 @ 6:42 pm
it doesn’t make sense in the terms of practical administration. it seems like a paperwork nightmare. boy and girl are a couple so they get a dorm room together, then boy and girl break up, now boy and girl don’t want to live together anymore. i don’t think anyone needs the extra work of letting students switch living spaces when they switch relationships.
Comment by amanda — July 20, 2009 @ 8:29 pm
Definitely NO!! That is just asking for trouble. And really who wants that for their kid?
Comment by Melinda — July 20, 2009 @ 9:37 pm
The college isn’t just pairing people up with RANDOM members of the opposite sex. Both parties have to request it! I want my children to live with whom they are most comfortable. Why wouldn’t anyone want the same for their children? I don’t understand the blanket “hell no” reaction.
If my daughter’s “bff” happens to have an “XY”, of course they’re going to think about living together at school.
My gay son might feel more comfortable living with a lady.
A more conservative daughter of mine might opt to live with a strange girl than a guy she knows. That’s ok!
A transgendered (pre-op) son (born a daughter) might want to live with another “dude” because that’s how he sees himself.
THINK, people, THINK!
Comment by amber of theambershow.net — July 21, 2009 @ 12:20 pm
I seem to be in the miniority here, but I would. I don’t think it should ever just be random Freshman being assigned to the same room, but since they have to already know each other and both specifically ask to live together I don’t seen an issue with it. I probably wouldn’t be keen on them living with their boyfriend/girlfriend, but friends would be fine with me. And I clearly understand that it wouldn’t be for everyone.
As for me, I have always had more male friends than female. Because my friends/roomates were older than me (and thus kept graduating and moving off into the real world) I ended up have a total of 14 roomates over the span of my 4 1/2 college years. And the best living arrangement of them all? A 5 bedroom house with another girl, and 4 guys. As the room arrangements worked out I shared a jack and jill bath with one of the guys. 3 of the 4 guys are still some of my best friends to this day (more than 10 years after I graduated college).
Comment by Brandi — July 21, 2009 @ 12:58 pm
As a real life, actual UChicago student (I know, right? It’s like my opinion on this is…relevant!), I think the University made an informed and progressive decision about housing. While I suspect that most students will choose to live with individuals of the same sex–just as most students live with people of the same sex when they move out of housing and into apartments–this decision simply gives students, especially those who are gay, lesbian and transgendered, more options in their living situations.
Comment by Helen — July 21, 2009 @ 8:52 pm
No one wants to deal with the stranger looking at you in your undergarments, i dont care what gender you are, its uncomfortable. If this is such a good idea then why doesnt everyone go to the laundry mat in an apartment complex and do laundry in their underwear, creepy!!
Comment by Jason — September 10, 2009 @ 3:13 pm
we need to realize that we are not sending little immature kids to college, we are sending adults away!
Comment by tompson — September 26, 2009 @ 8:29 pm