My children don’t have cell phones yet, but I can feel that the day is quickly approaching.
Last week we were at a baseball game when one of the parents told me that they had broken down and gotten their 8th grade son a cellphone. They just couldn’t stand listening to him complain any longer that he was the ONLY KID in the ENTIRE SCHOOL without one. I turned to my son and said, “Well, I guess you have the distinction now of being the only 8th grader in the ENTIRE TOWN without one!” He laughed.
Obviously that is not true, but it sure does seem like it some days. Seeing teenagers walking around, texting constantly, drives me crazy. What could they possibly be texting about when they aren’t actually doing anything but texting?
American teenagers sent and received an average of 2,272 text messages per month in the fourth quarter of 2008.
The NY Times recently ran an article about the toll that texting is taking on the lives of the American teenager. Highlighting how many of them are staying up all night texting, averaging hundreds of texts per day.
Yet she said there was an element of hypocrisy in all this: her mother, too, is hooked on the cellphone she carries in her purse.
“She should understand a little better, because she’s always on her iPhone… But she’s all like, ‘Oh well, I don’t want you texting.’ ” …Teens feel they are being punished for behavior in which their parents indulge…
But isn’t that what being an adult is all about? Having the privilidge to do things that children are not permitted to do? Children have curfews. Children do not drink alcohol. Children do not get to vote. Adults are supposed to have the wisdom to make better choices than children. Hopefully parents aren’t staying up all night to text their friends.
What R U wearing to work tomorrow?
IDK, U?
Eh, I don’t know text speak. When I do text my friends we use proper grammar and punctuation. I guess that is what “old people” do.
It seems that much of the problem is that parents don’t want to say no to their children. The major carriers all have plans which allow parents to put restrictions on cell phone usage. The family in the aforementioned article ended up limiting text messages to 5000 per month (that is a limit?) and no phone usage between 9 pm and 6 am weekdays.
My oldest (11yo) has a cell phone. He is the oldest by 9 years, since his siblings dont ever stay home alone and he does… tada we got him one. He doesnt text, we took that option away. He can only call a handful of people, as the phone is locked.
Honestly I wouldnt have it any other way.
Once his siblings get older though we will have to bite the bullet and get a house phone.
But really? Limits of 5000 texts? Thats just too much.
Comment by DW — May 27, 2009 @ 4:18 pm
Like DW, I plan on getting a cell phone for my kid when I can afford it (I think we’re the only grownups in the US without cells now!), but restricting it to only certain call-able numbers and no texting or other “frills”.
Comment by Brigitte — May 28, 2009 @ 6:17 am
Ok i got my 13 year old daughter a phone when she was eleven. She is always alone at the house but she spends alot of time with her friends too. I cant stand not being able to contact her when i need to. i gave her texting and she normally just text me every other hour ut she has to if she wants to keep her phone.
Comment by I Completely disagree — May 28, 2009 @ 3:23 pm
Their are a whole other subculture of their own. It’s important they learn to effectively and properly communicate with their elders but in order to relate with their peers, they need to text. And we need to text to get at their level so that when it counts, they know without a doubt we are there for them. If you must, place limits in order to maintain your sanity. The phone can stay in the room of off while dinner or times spend doing other things with your children.
Comment by Carla — May 29, 2009 @ 1:47 pm
Too much of anything is a bad thing. People tend to spend a lot of time talking about those things we do too much of, rather than then the real problem, how much we are doing it.
Texting has its usefulness as does talking on the phone and being able to reach someone.
(In my youth, I would stay up all night when I was at my Grandmother’s house talking to my boyfriend on the phone, something I couldn’t get away with at home because my parent’s had limits of when the phone could be used..)
Teen’s texting each other isn’t the problem; parents not putting limits on it is the problem.
If parents aren’t supervising their children the can get in much more trouble then texting their boyfriend/girlfriend.
My teen son has a phone with texting but is on a “prepaid” phone plan. He knows that his texts cost him and he knows how much they cost him. There are no overage fees or unlimited use, you pay for what you get and when you are out of minutes you’re done. This teaches him to be responsible with his phone time; he knows to use a landline if possible to conserve his minutes.
Comment by lj76 — June 1, 2009 @ 2:19 pm
Ok, I’m probably going to upset a few people but this is how I feel about the whole cell phone situation: WE ARE THE ADULDS!!! I don’t think any child (unless one that is of age of having a part time job) should be gong anywhere without adult supervision or to a place where you do not have access to reach them. Our oldest is 12 and yes many students his age and younger have a cell phone at school. They are not m kids and I don’t agree with their parents’ decision, but it’s not my place. All 3 of our kids have activities outside of school. They are under ADULT supervision at a location that has a phone, therefor they don’t need a cell phone. My husband and I are both a younger couple yet we agree that society is rushing our kids into adulthood. What ever happened to playing hide and go seek with the neighbor kid, or riding bikes, or chasing the ice cream truck!! Our children will be children for just a short time and we should embrace this time. I’d rather be outside playing with my kids or watching a movie with them than to be texting them. Indulge them in the innocence of being a child, don’t teach them to keep up with the Jones’s.
If I could do things all over again, I would enjoy the simple pleasures of my childhood as long as I could. We have a responsibility as parents to protect our kids and nurture them. I’m not saying to shelter them from the world, just teach them that some things are gained with age.
I understand the need to be able to know what’s going on in your child’s life. i don’t agree that a cell phone is the solution. If you’re involved, if you teach them right from wrong, if you pay attention to them, and you supervise their activities, then you wouldn’t feel the need to go out and buy them that cell phone.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve come close many of times to just saying Okay I’m going to get him one because he thinks it’s cool and that’s what he wants. But if he gets a cell phone at 12 than what do i get him at 16, 18 and so on. My husband and I have decided that once each of our kids have either a summer job or part time job, they can buy themselves a phone. This will not only help keep in touch with them (because again if I know where they are I can just call them there), but also teach them the value of their work.
Comment by Daniela — June 1, 2009 @ 9:56 pm
Cell phones are simply part of youth culture. If you really need to regulate and monitor their use that much, get them a Kajeet phone, which allows parents to remotely monitor and control cell phone activity.
Comment by Moon Howler — June 8, 2009 @ 8:11 pm
I think the world has changed, and I believe that as they gain independence from their parents, they need to get cell phones. Pay phones used to be everywhere and you could call collect home if you needed to call your parents. Now they just don’t exist, and when you do see them they are BROKEN! Having a cell phone is a safety precaution when they are away from home! Like having AAA for your car. Yes, limits need to be placed on them, and enforced. It does not need to be used as a toy, only as a tool.
Comment by nutmeggy — June 9, 2009 @ 9:19 pm
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Pingback by Toll of Texting | Mommy Points — June 20, 2009 @ 7:22 pm
my 12 year old daughter has a cell phone when we had sprint we got her 300 texts a month for 5$ extra and she went over….by 700! when we switched to verion and finally broke down and got her the phone she wanted [env2 which she now hates]we got her unlimited its expensive but she cant go over until the day she goes over unlimited.
Comment by Mom — June 21, 2009 @ 1:04 pm
Wow, I used to work for sprint. They have much cheaper plans, and they also have an unlimited texing plan. Just wanted to let you know, because I know sometimes the sales reps do not give you all of your options. You may want to reconsider Sprint. Not because I worked for them, but because they are much less expensive than Verizon. I saw your situation happen almost everyday.
Comment by Tiababy — June 22, 2009 @ 12:02 am
I wholeheartedly agree with Daniela.
Comment by Anonymous — June 23, 2009 @ 3:12 pm
I told my daughter (who’s 10) that she could only text other people who have Verizon because we have unlimited texting. I also told her that she has to ask permission before she text messages anyone outside of Verizon. She’s done remarkably well. Has yet to go over the limits, and shes had the phone for about a year or so.
Comment by Oh no she has boobs! — June 25, 2009 @ 12:03 am
I am a teacher of middle school aged kids and I can’t believe how many of them have cell phones…I have to sons but they are 4 and 2 so they obviously won’t have them anytime soon…What I see is that some kids do need them because of their situation of involvement and a way to contact home…others who only have them because everybody else does, does not make any sense!!! My kids will have cell phones when they reach middle school only for the reason of athletics and being able to contact us. They will also be limited to who they call…however that is a long ways away and who knows what will be going on by then!! haha
Comment by Teresa — June 25, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
oops…the teacher in me I should have proof-read… two sons and whom they call sorry!!!
Comment by Teresa — June 25, 2009 @ 2:49 pm
I personally think that text-ing is a waste just meet them somewhere probably for lunch ,or shopping and talk.
Comment by Ma of 3 and little buns in the oven — June 26, 2009 @ 4:07 pm
We went through an episode with our teenage daughter whose texting habits got out of control. Her grades dropped, her attention span was that of a gnat’s and she was quite moody from being tired after texting through most of the night. We realized that the unlimited texting plan we got her (to save ourselves money) was part of the problem.
To make a long story short, we put her on a NET10 prepaid plan with limited minutes. That way we could stay in touch without the texting becoming a problem. She can buy more minutes if she runs out but then it comes out of her allowance.
Comment by Sally — June 26, 2009 @ 6:52 pm