I saw a link to this study on another blog and found it fascinating. What makes people truly happy?
Turns out that it isn’t “stuff” or money; the study has revealed that the happiest people surround themselves with family and friends, don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses next door, lose themselves in daily activities and, most important, forgive easily… the happiest people spend the least amount of time alone.
It all seems logical reading about the study, but how many of us play the if-only game inside our head. I would be happy if only I lost 10 pounds. I would be happy if only I get that promotion at work. I would be happy if only I had more money. When really none of those things are going to dramatically change our lives and make us happier. This would explain why lottery winners don’t end up having lives that are any happier than they were before they won.
How do we model happiness for our children? I have been thinking a lot about this. The study revealed that everyone has a certain set point for happiness that is genetically determined, but that the way each individual chooses to live their life determines their actual level of happiness.
Do I make a conscious effort not to attach happiness to material things? Or am I falling into that consumerism trap? Do they see me taking joy in the little things, the things that really matter? Do I show them how happy they make me? Or how much the laughter with my friends means to me?
Because above all else in this life, I want my children to grow up to be happy and content adults.
I’ve never cared a lot about material stuff, and could never even want a mansion or yacht no matter how much money I had. But it would be awfully nice not to WORRY about everyday bills so much, and be able to afford “fancy” things, like another pair of pants (NOT from Salvation Army!) or an electric toothbrush.
Otherwise, I do have a rather depressive personality in general, and THAT wouldn’t change. Especially when certain people nag me about my weight and my housekeeping skills.
>:-P
Comment by Brigitte — March 11, 2009 @ 8:29 am
Oops, didn’t really address the issue. I try to hide my depressiveness from my daughter and do fun little things with her a lot, in hopes that she hasn’t inherited my tendencies. I also want her to be a well-adjusted adult!
Comment by Brigitte — March 11, 2009 @ 8:31 am
Although there are a select few that might say they prefer the materialistic happiness, it is true that the majority of us would rather have the happy memories shared with friends and families. At first when my husband would ask me what I would like for my birthday,etc., I would tell him that all I want is for us to all spend the day together on a family outing or such. He thought I was just saying that to “test” him to leave the guesswork up to him as far as gift buying goes. But afer some time, he realized that what truly makes ME happy is our family’s togetherness.
Comment by Eva — March 11, 2009 @ 9:41 am
I do have to say that if all of our bills were paid off and my husband and I had vehicles that weren’t quite so old, my stress level would decrease and I would be more content. It would also be nice to afford to travel and explore new places with my husband, kids, and extended family. If I could let an excellent decorator loose on my house and a landscaper too, these things would give me happiness.
However, surrounding myself with family and friends is the best thing in the world, and any experience or possession comes second to that.
Comment by Karen — March 12, 2009 @ 7:29 pm
I would have to agree I am not so mucha “stuff” person…I prefer the memories of great times with my husband, kids and the extend family that does not suck the fun out of my life..
I often say to the kids if it can be replaced it is just stuff…and the stuff that counts is inside your heart and mind.
Now not to say having a few extra dollars would not make life easier…because I imagine for anyone it would…but I cannot think of any thing I can say I NEED, that I do not have…
I think this could be why Facebook is the wonder it is to the older ( little older ) generation
we did not have this when we were of “myspace” age….hell we did not have cellphones…it is a great feeling to see and keep up with people that were at some point and many still important in our lives….
Comment by kellie — March 12, 2009 @ 9:53 pm
I agree with Karen above.
Just on the topic of happiness, there’s a neat site by Dr. Martin Seligman called http://www.happier.com. You can register free and actually do activities to monitor and hopefully increase your happiness level. I have personally found a few of their exercises helpful.
Comment by Pamela La Gioia — March 21, 2009 @ 8:56 am