What do your kids get for holidays & birthdays?

Oh, this is a great question.

First let’s start with the birthday parties. Where I live is is extremely common for those invited to a class party not to give presents, but instead bring a donation to the charity of their choice. In the past we have been asked to bring canned goods for a food pantry, gloves and hats for a shelter, backpacks for supplies for children entering foster care, shoes for another charity. I believe we even had one where we brought stuff for a local animal shelter.

Most of our children do not need anything, especially not a $10 plastic toy that is going to sit unused. It is that sort of wastefulness drives me bonkers. I would highly recommend this route to anyone who is still doing the traditional invite ten friends over for a birthday party. The children feel good about themselves, even the birthday child. I am all about giving of ourselves as charity. Now you can buy your child the present that they really desire. But I think you will find that when you bring your child to drop off the donations, the praise that they receive is probably enough to bring them into a lifetime of giving.

Family is a tougher sell. I explicitly tell my family what to buy. I will even suggest they pool their money to buy a favorite thing, like a nice wooden pirate ship. I have told them that we were going to start collecting a certain toy and encouraged them to get onboard with it. Ever price those huge Brio train sets? When family members all contribute a piece it isn’t so bad.

If your family would be offended by that, think about consumables. What about art supplies, paints, markers, nice paper, and easel? My mother-in-law and sister-in-law bought my two oldest sons a table and chair set that I had picked out, and we still have 11 years later. Or the latest movie on DVD, or an iTunes giftcard.

Memberships to museums, the YMCA, clubs, etc are great. I call them the gift that keeps on giving. And grandparents will especially love this if they can be included on the trips or sent photos of their grandchildren enjoying the places.

Does your child have a desire to learn a musical instrument? Ask close family if they would like to pay for the lessons or if they are flush with cash buy the instrument. What about sports equipment? Bats, gloves, hockey sticks, skis, tennis rackets, basketball hoop, bicycles, scooters… the list is endless.

I always tell our family that there are the presents that the kids go wild over on Christmas day and then there are the ones that go quietly unnoticed until a few days have passed and the newness has worn off of the latest greatest dumb thing. Hello, Tickle Me Elmo, I am talking to you. Wouldn’t they rather give the present that is truly enjoyed and appreciated long term?

My final suggestion would be to practice what you preach. Are you buying junky toys for your nieces and nephews? Give the sort of presents that you would hope to receive. Think about buying a couple things from a craft store and then adding a gift card into the birthday card so they can add to the art supplies.

Finally, don’t feel that just because someone gave you or your child a present that you have to keep it. A present is an expression of love. Giving away the gift to charity or someone else does not lessen the sentiment.