My nieces mother-in-law has prompted this post.

Rules and Etiquette for visiting someone who has just given birth:

1) Do not tell the mother what she is doing wrong. Examples include: don’t hold the baby like that you will hurt her neck. I said, as long as you don’t drop the baby I think you are doing fine.

2) Don’t come and visit and stay forever.

3) Bringing a meal or some groceries is nice. Bringing the entire contents of the grocery store so you can cook at their house, and then moving things out of their refrigerator so you can fill it with the stuff you bought… not so nice.

4) If the mother is nursing, do not tell her that her baby is starving and going to die.

5) When the mother is having trouble nursing do not give the baby a bottle of formula when the mother walks out of the room, against the mother’s explicit wishes.

6) Do not rearrange the baby’s changing table and drawers because you think there is a better way for them to be.

7) Don’t give advice unless it is explicitly asked for. And even then most times a new mother is really only wanting assurance that she is doing a good job. Provide that peace of mind for her.

I am sure that there are other rules. Why don’t you chime in and tell me some?

And let me just say here, thank God I got a normal mother-in-law. She may not agree with everything I do, but at least she doesn’t interfere. She talks about me behind my back instead, the way families are supposed to.