Michelle asked a great question in the comments of the previous post and rather than answer it there I thought I would pull it out and give it the attention it deserves.
She asks: How do you schedule time for the kids to play on the computer without listening to them fighting over whose turn it is and who got to play longer, etc.
I grew up as an only child, so all of these sibling relationships are new to me. When I was a kid I could do whatever I wanted, leave my things laying around knowing that no one was going to mess with them, be assured that the last Oreo would still be in the box when I returned home from school. The importance of shouting shot-gun when leaving the house or the horror of having someone breathe on me in the car were not things I grew up knowing about.
Now as the parent I have learned all these things, and my husband the youngest of four children, tells me that it is how siblings relate to each other. I choose to believe him and think of all the fighting as building tools for their future relationships.
Kids can fight about anything. Mine have even had fights because so-and-so was “thinking of looking at me!” So that part is completely normal I think.
I have tried a few different solutions over the years to try and alleviate the fighting over the computer. There is no perfect system, I don’t think. But my kids do know that if they can’t resolve their arguing I will resolve it for them. And my resolution is to turn the computer off.
Back when we only had one computer each child was allowed one hour per day. That worked for awhile until GASP the days we actually went places and there was not enough time in the day for each child to have their hour long turn. If one person had a turn and everyone else did not the world would surely come to an end. There was so much complaining about this system, because my oldest son felt that one hour was not long enough to accomplish what he wanted to do.
So then we went to a ticket system where everyone was given 10 tickets that were each worth half an hour per week. This way they could play longer or shorter. If we went out for a day no one felt like they were missing out on something. We stayed with this system for a long time.
Then my older children got their own laptops and there were only little kids left who don’t have attention spans that are that impressive. So now I will log onto Handipoints when I am making dinner and they will take turns, half an hour each. As long as they know that they will have their own turn, the fighting has somewhat ceased.
You know unless someone decides to breathe on someone or look at them funny.
What were the conditions that your children earned the tickets? What age were they?
Comment by Michelle — January 25, 2008 @ 11:16 pm
Hmmm, I think I kind of like the ticket idea-I might have to work that in. Right now, our kids get very little computer time at home.
I think I’d give a standard amount of ticket per week (5 half hours each would be enough in our house) and then they could earn/”buy” more with their handipoints. That way, everyone KNOWS they get their 5 tickets (with the possibility of more) and if there is time to use them-great. If not…they save them? And I would not count checking the task charts as “ticket time”.
I like it. Thanks.
Comment by Gina... — January 26, 2008 @ 11:51 pm
I do a similar thing with the tv in the summer. They (my 2 kids;7 & 9) get 4 – 1/2 hour tickets to redeem to watch tv shows (which are usually 1/2 hr. long). They have to negotiate which shows they will watch, because if one is watching something, inevitably, the other will stop and watch too. They sometimes argue over it, but if I stay out of it, they usually figure it out.
Comment by handipointmom — April 29, 2008 @ 10:49 am
My kids each get an hour for computer time at specified times. One at 9:00 AM , one at 10:00, and one at 11:00. If they miss their computer time during the day because of an activity, oversleeping, etc., then they have lost it. No arguments. I should add that they are homeschooled so they are home at these times.
I do like the idea of making extra computer time a Savings Goal! Especially my older kids (who aren’t interested in Handiland, but sure do like rewards!) will love that!
Comment by Emily — June 13, 2008 @ 4:53 pm
I love this idea! We homeschool as well and often battle the ‘can I get on the computer now?’ questions. Your idea will help the kids know ‘when’ they are allowed to spend an hour on the computer and I can stop being a computer cop
) Thanks! Kirsten
Comment by Kirsten — June 16, 2008 @ 10:55 am
I think that this is a VERY good idea! Although, I let my kids have 2hrs. of tv/computer time, b/c that way they can chat w/their friends after school, and than they can watch their favorite tv shows,too.
Comment by faith — June 16, 2008 @ 2:53 pm
I like the ticket idea, but I see this happening: I want to use my tickets. NO I WANT TO USE MY TICKETS. I actually see one kid using ALL their tickets at once to make sure the other kid doesn’t get a chance to get on the computer
Did you encounter this? Was there a solution?
Comment by Karla — July 28, 2008 @ 8:41 pm
We just got a new computer and there is a timer on it. It will turn off and not them log back on when there time is up! During weekdays before ANY computer use chores and homework must be done. Younger kids who go to bed earlier get to use the computer first!
Comment by Leigh Anne — October 9, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
Where in the world did you find the timer for the computer? I need one badly. What a fabulous idea!!!
Comment by Meredith — October 13, 2008 @ 4:07 pm
Where do I get one? What a great idea. Thanks, Jen
Comment by Jen — October 13, 2008 @ 5:50 pm