I have always been a somewhat picky eater. It drove my mother crazy when I was growing up. Likewise it drove me crazy that she kept cooking foods I hated and wondered why I wouldn’t eat them.
She was from the Depression Era, a time when there was no such thing as being a picky eater. A combination of not enough food to go around and constant hunger meant that she did not have the luxury of being picky. Faced with the alternative of starvation, people will eat anything. Nowadays most of us are not willing to starve our children into submission, though it can be tempting some days.
When I was growing up I was forced to eat whatever was on my plate. The food I refused to eat would be wrapped up, put in the fridge, and served to me cold at the next meal. Food was always an issue. And I swore that when I had children I would not make an issue of it.
I read this article last week which discusses the findings of a study led by Dr. Lucy Cooke of the department of epidemiology and public health at University College London, that was published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition in August.
Researchers examined the eating habits of 5,390 pairs of twins between 8 and 11 years old and found children’s aversions to trying new foods are mostly inherited.
The message to parents: It’s not your cooking, it’s your genes.
For an interesting twist in our family, my husband is not a picky eater at all. The only thing, and I do mean only thing, he doesn’t like is raw onions. Everything else he will happily eat. Though he doesn’t like sweets. That means cakes, cookies, pastries, pies, chocolate can all sit there without tempting him in the least.
I have one son who is exactly like him. A child who will pass up treats and ask for carrot sticks; a child who piles his plate high with vegetables and salad. I know…who is this child? And you know if he were my only child I would feel smugly superior, but alas I have others who keep me humble.
Researchers have found:
Most children eat a wide variety of foods until they are around 2, when they suddenly stop. The phase can last until the child is 4 or 5.
Based on my experience with my children I have definitely found this to be the case. Most all of my children were open to foods while they were young toddlers, and then suddenly when the terrible twos hit in full force and they have wills of their own, they begin asserting themselves in all areas, including what foods to put in their mouths.
There is an infamous photo of me as a toddler eating a hot dog. This would explain to my mother why I ate that when I had just turned two years old and yet refused to each and every time afterward. That would include now 36 years later. I have never liked hot dogs. Granted, now as an adult I seldom gag and throw myself on the ground crying when offered a hot dog, but don’t think I haven’t thought about it.
The beauty of having many children is that all these parenting issues quickly become clear. I realized long ago that I can not take the credit for this child’s good eating habits and more than I should berate myself for the picky habits of my other children. It’s just how they are.
The researchers say that this phase passes eventually. You just have to ride it out like a hellish storm. Don’t become emotionally invested over whether they eat or not.
I can tell you that as a grown up I eat a wide variety of foods now, only held back by food allergies. And my soon to be 13 year old, who used to be extremely picky, now that he is in the throes of puberty and growing like a weed, he will eat anything and everything in as large of quantities as he can get it. Some nights he will look over to his younger sibling’s plates at dinner and say, “Are you going to finish that?”
I find myself sometimes worrying half the day about what my kid will eat, some days it’s nothing but buttered bread and Goldfish, but she does eat some healthy stuff too . . sometimes.
I try to comfort myself with some other thing I read once, about how even the kids who ate completely worthless food seemed to grow up strong and healthy – I guess ANY food is better, as far as a growing body is concerned, than starving like in the old days!
Comment by Brigitte — October 15, 2007 @ 7:00 am
It is exhausting trying to make sure that my children get there full servings of veggies, and fruit, and the calcium, and the grains. I have a child with tons of allergies including dairy, and so I have to use goat milk for him which is a hassle because the other 2 wont drink it, so it’s constant switching milks. Then constant worry that he’s not drinking it enough 1, because of the cost… (it’s not cheap), 2, because there isn’t as much fat, calcium or folic acid in it, so worry worry that he’s eating enough “fats”. Then the constant dr. visits because he’s so tiny for his age… Feed him more, if I fed my children the “recommended” ammounts of stuff each day that’s all I’d get done and that’s all they’d do is eat! What’s a mom to do?
Comment by Janette — October 15, 2007 @ 5:57 pm
OMG, This could explain SO much. I was never a pciky eater that I was told, but I don’t know enough about the other side of the family to say he didn’t get it from there. I am THRILLED to hear that this is just a phase and will pass eventually. THANK YOU!!!
Comment by Tabitha — February 24, 2008 @ 2:01 am
One of my pet-peeves is when one of my kids has a friend over for dinner, and the friend looks at their plate and scrunches up their nose and says, “Yuck, I don’t eat that”. Or how about when the parent of a friend tells me, “My child only likes to eat…”. I have three kids. Ever since they were old enough to eat, the only thing offered them is what I cook. I make ONE dinner, and that is it. If they don’t like something, they don’t need to finish it (I’m fair in that regard), but they do need to eat the same number of bites as their age, and they get nothing else to eat instead. Because I’ve always done that, my kids never ask for other foods to eat instead, and they are always willing to try new things. Now, I have NO picky eaters! And I don’t have to worry that my kids are being rude at other people’s houses by saying “I don’t eat that!”
Comment by DeAnna — June 13, 2008 @ 1:25 pm
THANK YOU DEANNA!!! We are the same way… We have 3 kids and they eat everything. If they don’t eat it, then they don’t get anything else. (They don’t get any treats or deserts until their meal is at least mostly finished.) It is our jobs as parents to see that our kids eat healthy balanced meals. You are doing your kid wrong by not making them eat healthy. Kids don’t know better and what they eat will determine how healthy of adults they are and potentially how long they will live. It makes me so upset to see parents let their kids eat unhealthy meals. Your kids WILL eat what you make for them if you don’t give them other junk food. When they are hungry, they will eat! You just have to be a little stubborn and act older than your child!!!
Comment by Kristi — June 14, 2008 @ 3:34 pm
[...] I think I would be panicked if my child refused to eat anything but yogurt. I wrote about picky eating before and how the experts say that you just need to ride it out and eventually they will eat new [...]
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