Turns out that it isn’t things, money, drugs… or any of the other myriad of things that we fear. Probably from watching too many tv shows filled with supposed teenage angst.
I read about this study a few days ago and have been rolling it over in my head since then.
Turns out that what makes youth, defined as those ages 13-24, happy is having a strong close tie to their families.
Spending time with family was the top answer to that open-ended question, according to an extensive survey more than 100 questions asked of 1,280 people ages 13-24 conducted by The Associated Press and MTV on the nature of happiness among America’s young people.
Next was spending time with friends, followed by time with a significant other. And even better for parents: Nearly three-quarters of young people say their relationship with their parents makes them happy.
I think the study shows us what a great asset a strong loving family. And that maybe we need to remember (we, meaning me) that while our teenage children are pulling away from us and acting like they know it all and we as parents know NOTHING and could in fact probably take life lessons form them and their wise teenager ways, that when all is said and done they highly value their relationship with us.
“It’s good news to hear young people being realistic about what really makes them happy,” says psychologist Jean Twenge, author of “Generation Me” and a professor at San Diego State University. “Research has shown us that relationships are the single greatest source of happiness.”
Virtually none of the respondents said that money made, or would make, them happy.
I think that it would be interesting to further delve into the findings and discover what makes a good family. Why did the other 25% of youth NOT chose their family as the primary source of their happiness? Are their families wildly dysfunctional?
Perhaps the next study. For now I am just hugging this one close to my bosom while my almost teenage son rolls his eyes at me. And not just so my hands are occupied and can not strangle him.
I heard this on the Today Show and it went on to say that the teenagers that were happy were the ones with parents still together. Also, they have aspirations of riches when they grow up. Which then Matt Lauer theorized that money wasnt important as long as parents were paying the bills.
My question is, if family makes them happy then why do they act like being with family is the same as asking them to dig a ditch in a septic tank? I dont have teenagers of my own, yet, but I have teenage sisters and they look like everyday is a living hell. If they are so dang happy where are their smiles?
Comment by Wendy — August 21, 2007 @ 5:04 pm
I really like this study and hope it holds true for us. I know that, personally, as a teen, I liked having my family around—after I was finished doing my ‘own thing’, it was nice to come back to a safe, happy home. I may not have always shown it, but I know that was important to me.
Comment by Fairly Odd Mother — August 21, 2007 @ 8:58 pm
Why did the other 25% of youth NOT chose their family as the primary source of their happiness? Are their families wildly dysfunctional?
Yes.
Comment by wookie — August 22, 2007 @ 9:02 am
Wendy,
I think it is because teenagers like to feel like they are independent and like to assert themselves and their own opinions. Probably the easiest and most visible way to do this it to disagree with every single thing their parents do or say.
I think as a parent it is also important not to take it personally and to lighten up about the fact that they want to walk 20ft behind you at all times.
My husband and I make jokes about it like, “Wow look at that 12 yr old walking around all by himself. I don’t think he has any parents or family.” It makes us all laugh, including my son.
Comment by Chris — August 22, 2007 @ 9:59 am
Well for me, its video games, they will do anything for a new one, i wish they clung to the family more, i think that they have decided their TV screen is their safe haven, i have been trying to tell them to get off that box every once in a while and go take a walk, or play in the park, but they seem to be addicted to it. Any suggestions.
Comment by Sharon Heber — May 21, 2009 @ 10:41 pm
My kids were too focused on screen games and console activities and I bought them new scooters (the old ones were rusted and wheels fell off one of them), and they immediately began scootering more, but they didn’t have many friends in the neighborhood (only school friends), our neighborhood has mostly older people with college age kids, so there was noone to call them out to play…The games are an easy pull for them and keep them sedentary. Since scootering further in our neighborhood consistently, they found other kids that we didn’t know lived here. (they are a little bit younger), but not much, and one of them taught my 11 year old to ride a bike. (sounds sad he didn’ t know, but he’s always been so busy in school and baseball and then video games at home that he never learned! So now they are addicted to being out side riding bikes, scootering and going to their friends houses. I am soooo glad. Their only favorite “game” so to speak now is Handiland! and they clamor to do their chores! It’s great. It’s all about balance. The other thing (and it’s major)…I started getting more active because I knew that the only way to get them out was for me to get out. I started going every weekend to do something physical with them (park, lake, scootering, biking, or walking a trail somewhere). You have to force them to go, they always end up liking it. AND…you have to do it too! Set the example. Hope that helps.
Comment by chrissylong — May 26, 2009 @ 2:21 am