I came across this article about a mother leaving her child in a car and subsequently being arrested for it. Has anyone else read about it?
As I was reading the story I kept thinking that surely there was more to the story than this, but no. This is not to say that I condone leaving children in the car alone, I don’t. But the undisputed facts in the case are that a woman brought her daughter and her daughter’s friend to a local walmart so they could give the coins they collected to the salvation army bell ringer. Her two year old daughter was asleep in the car. She pulled the car up into a loading zone and parked there. She and the older girls got out of the car. She left the 2 yr old in the car, putting on her hazard lights and locking the doors.
They walked over to the bell ringer, less than 10 yards away, where her car was still in her sight, and poured the money into the bucket. She snapped a few photos and headed back to the car. An employee had phoned the police and told her that she had to remain there until the police arrived. They arrived and she was arrested.
I think the thing that bothers me the most about this story is that more and more parents are not allowed to make their own judgment calls. I would assume that this woman is a loving mother and that she has her children’s best interest at heart. Why can’t her own judgment on whether or not her child was safe in the car be respected? Do we need “Big Brother” watching over all aspects of our lives? Is the world that dangerous that we need to be protected from ourselves?
And aren’t there real criminals out there that the police should be dealing with?
This is a very slippery slope. What about when you need to go inside to pay for gas at a gas station? What about returning the shopping cart to the designated area?
What about carrying groceries in the house… either way you would be wrong. I guess you will have to carry your child in one hand and the groceries in the other, back and forth, back and forth lest you leave your childout of your line of vision for a single moment. On the plus side, you’d have some killer biceps.
What do you think? Should the mother have been arrested?
I have to agree with your “big brother” assessment. The unfortunate part, though, is that no small number of crazy parents have given the police and the public plenty to be wary about.
Comment by Amanda — March 25, 2008 @ 10:27 am
Shame on the officer for not asking more questions and getting the whole story. You would think that if she is bringing the other kids to drop off coins to the Salvation Army bell ringer she is not a slacker parent who has no clue. Not like she left the kid in the car and went into McDonalds to have lunch.
Comment by sharon — March 25, 2008 @ 10:53 am
I agree, this is a slippery slope we’re on. I fear it will only get worse.
Comment by Katheryn — March 25, 2008 @ 10:58 am
I have to say that the Walmart associate should be ashamed of themselves for stirring up such nonsense. I would then have to assume that that person was only looking to make themselves look good without even considering the consequences of their actions or without even realizing that the mother was right there??? I too am a very loving mother who would never leave my child in a vehicle I wasn’t in real close proximity to, but this was uncalled for. Then I agree with Sharon shame on the officer for not getting the whole story. Surely what law could there be that allowed him to arrest her in those circumstances??? It is very scary of what takes place today and what individuals are getting away with in suing one another.
Comment by Deb — March 25, 2008 @ 12:09 pm
Confession – Once this winter I left my daughter in the car, door locked for less than 1 minute to drop off the drycleaning. The car was in view the entire time. It was a messy, snowy nightmare and it was cold! I also lock her in the car to return the cart to the shopping cart to the designated area in the parking lot. It is a slippery slope but I feel that I am able to make my own decisions regarding what I feel is appropriate.
Comment by divrchk — March 25, 2008 @ 2:06 pm
I don’t think this mother should have been arrested. I personally will not leave my kids locked in the car while I go inside to pay for gas, but I will to return a cart at the grocery store that isn’t very far away.
I was really disturbed last month when I stopped at the gas station to buy milk. Upon returning to my car, I noticed a young toddler (maybe 18 mo old) in the car next to us, doors unlocked, eating a snack with no parent in sight. I made sure to stay parked there until the dad returned (around 5 minutes).
Based upon what I witnessed just recently I do believe that an arrest is justified, what if I wasn’t the one that noticed this little boy alone in an unlocked car?
Comment by Sara — March 25, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
That story makes me so angry. Parents SHOULD have the right to decide what is safe for them and their children. If they are comfortable leaving their child in the car for a few minutes, then it should be their decision.
Comment by Karly — March 25, 2008 @ 3:47 pm
I agree, she should not have been arrested. But I don’t think anybody is interested in doing the right thing anymore. They don’t have control over their own lives so they think, judging other people makes them better people.
Comment by mystbourne — March 25, 2008 @ 5:21 pm
Will I was at the store Friday and as I got out of my car I saw 2 kids inside another car ages 2 and may 2 months. I was in the store for an hour and after I left the kids were still in there car alone. I stayed by the car until the Grandpa came back.The kids were fine. I must be honest had he not shown just then I would of had no choice but to contact someone. I remember when I was a kid and my sister and I would fight in the store and my Mom would send us to the car. Whatever happened to the good old days
Comment by cherryofvegas — March 25, 2008 @ 5:35 pm
Well what is scary to me is.. when are they going to say you cant get out to pump gas without taking your kids out to be beside you while you pump the gas. How far are they going to say we can go. I dont like to think we are losing our rights. Now they are taking away homeschooling in California.. Parents wont have any rights as they have had in the past. Some state the parents get put in jail if their child steals from a store. My Mom took me to the store when I was little for stealing a pack of gum. Now a parent will be worried about going to jail when trying to teach them right form wrong!!!
Comment by Krys — March 26, 2008 @ 12:15 am
I felt like they went way overboard in that case, too.
Like Sara (above), I also will leave my daughter in the car to return a cart (if it’s just a car or two away), but won’t go in to pay for gas without her.
I’m lucky enough to have a wooded property with the garage almost 400 feet (and not visible) from the road, so I HAVE left her in the car if she fell asleep, while I unload the car and put everything away. Sadly, these days someone could be stalking me and trespassing on my property, yet they could call the police in that situation and I’D probably be the one arrested.
Comment by Brigitte — March 26, 2008 @ 7:49 am
About 7 years ago, I had a friend who was pregnant with triplets. She had a 2 year old daughter (who was her world). She decided she wanted a donut. She drove to the donut shop and parked right out in front.
Her daughter was asleep in the van and she was several months pregnant (read very big already), there was no line in the donut shop and so she decided to leave V there while she ran in and grabbed a donut.
Someone from the dry cleaners next door called the police, they made her stay there until the police came. They arrested her and sent her child to a foster home. Seriously. They didn’t call the father to pick up the child first, they placed her in a home.
My friend lost one of the babies from all the stress and she went into a deep state of depression. She felt so much guilt no matter how people tried to tell her what was done to her was wrong.
I couldn’t believe it. All because she wanted a donut.
Then you have losers like my half sister, who allows her child to be murdered by her boyfriend and they walk free.
Makes no sense.
Comment by Sasha — March 26, 2008 @ 11:11 am
I heard that the woman went on to sue the police, which, in my opinion, is not a good idea. I mean, do you want the police to hesitate to investigate an incidence of child abuse or neglect? It seems like too much of it is being overlooked nowadays. I would, however, have confronted the store, because it is their employee’s overreaction that caused the problem. Police showing up don’t know anything about the situation besides what they are told by the complainer until they interogate the suspect.
I ran into the pet store to buy a new collar for my dog whose old one had just broken. I was on my way to the park to take them for a walk. It was a hot day, but it took less than 5 minutes, and I left the windows cracked. When I came out, a woman was hovering around my car and told me that she was going to call the police on me for animal abuse. I told her, ‘Go ahead, lady. I’ll be at the park if they need to find me.’ Some people just enjoy creating drama.
Also, the employee had no authority to hold her there. I would have told him to f*** off. And if he tried to physically restrain me, I would have called the police on him.
Comment by Stephanie Chance — March 26, 2008 @ 4:20 pm
This mom is being unfairly punished by this officer. She was in the right and I hope her case says so. I’m praying for her.
Comment by islandmom — March 26, 2008 @ 7:31 pm
Unfortunantly, everyone in that situation is human; the mother, the store employee and the police. And humans are not perfect-we make mistakes.
Something to consider…what if (heaven forbid), while mom was escorting the 2 girls to the bucket for photo ops, someone smashed her car window, jumped in and tried to hotwire the car to steal it (maybe succeeding?) or grabbed the sleeping younger child?
How old were the other 2 girls? Personally, I probably would have prefered to stand at the very corner of my car (or a couple steps away but not more than a foot), watched and taken pictures from there-glancing back at the sleeper, the whole time. Generally speaking, 2, awake older girls are safer than a sleeping toddler.
If the older girls were going to a very crowded area, I would have waken the 2 yr old.
That being said, I’m not perfect and have taken a risk or 2 that I’m not proud of.
I also saw a similar situation, a couple weeks ago. The adult (mom, presumably) left her (awake) toddler in the car (windows up) in the parking lot while she went and picked another child up at school. She had to go WAY out of sight and was gone long enough for me to find and tell a school employee in the bus lane, who radioed to another employee who works the front desk, and she (the front desk lady) came out to stand at the car, wait for adult/mom and to be sure the toddler was ok. And he was. But, we all have different, personal comfort “zones”. What one person is comfy doing…someone else may not be. And we were in a “safe” location, right? Where do you/we (the general “you/we”) draw the line? When is something risky enough to be “wrong” and who decides?
I don’t know the answers. All I know is that we do the best we can, make the best descisions based on our knowledge and experience…and sometimes we fall short.
Comment by Anonymous — March 26, 2008 @ 10:42 pm
I think this insane. I think once the police heard the whole story the charges should have been dropped. What a terrible waste of tax money to prosecute someone who is not neglectful, never mind criminally neglectful.
Unfortunately, accidents and other horrible things happen to children whether they be in cars, out of cars, in their yards, in their homes… but no matter what can’t be watched all the time – parents must pump gas, run to grab another sibling, close the bathroom door, go to sleep for the night. It is always a judgment call when you let them out of your sight or out of arm’s reach but life requires parents make that call many times through out the day.
The lack of respect for a parent’s judgment when the call is so close is astounding to me.
What a waste of time and resources that could be better spent to actually help children at actual risk of harm.
Comment by Ms.Carson — March 26, 2008 @ 11:58 pm
Unfortunatly,this is what our life has become due to the horrible treatment of children by a few unbalanced or stressed out individuals. There was a time when you could leave your children within site and pay for an item. Now if you turn your back for a second to do this, you will be called to the carpent for negligence. There are those out here that abuse thier children, but for those of us who would not even think of something so awful, it has become a legal and subjective minefeild. I had gone into a store during one summer leaving my children in the car with thier grandmother. I wass in the store about 30 mins. When I came back to the car there was this woman snooping around the car and was frightned off by my mother. She was shaken and guilty looking. She said ” sorry I thought they were in there alone.” Funny, she could have caused me to have my children taken for no reason and people would have taken her side.
Comment by Samantha Clark — March 27, 2008 @ 12:29 pm
First of all folks, it just said she was arrested. She may not have been charged and I doubt that was prosecuted. The cop was a bit of a jerk to arrest a woman for that. Second, you don’t have to obey a Walmart employee and I would have suggested driving away. The cop would have to go to a great deal of trouble tracking her down and probably would not have.
The press doesn’t always report the truth. Maybe she had alcohol on her breath, and maybe the cop was just a jerk, you just don’t know.
After many years in family court, I can tell you, people who have done terrible things to their children never get arrested or convicted because it is hard to prove, so I wouldn’t be too worried about an overly aggressive legal system.
Comment by Angie — March 28, 2008 @ 2:51 pm
Re: the father who left his toddler in the car..
What would have happened had you not stuck around is LIKELY that the child would have been alone in the car for another five minutes. Then his father would have returned, and everything would have been fine.
The biggest mistake we have begun to make as a society is to consider the POSSIBILITY of something bad happening to be the ultimate focus. It is ALWAYS possible for something bad to happen. You can get run over by a car while getting the mail. This doesn’t mean you stop going to the mailbox every day. The more we, as parents, perpetuate the myth that the mere possibility of something bad happening is grounds for immediate action, the quicker we usher in the Nanny State and the more readily we give up our right to parent our own children.
Remember, too, that there is a LOT of arrogance involved when one parent calls out another for ‘bad parenting’. When we tear each other down, society listens and everyone loses. :/
Comment by Wixenstyx — March 29, 2008 @ 1:36 am
@Angie
I don’t know that there’s such a thing as ‘just being arrested’, especially for a mother on a charitable errand with two children and a child’s friend looking on. That’s a pretty big deal, if only because of the emotions involved. I don’t think we do anyone any service by dismissing it as ‘no big deal’. I don’t care if the courts would have completely fallen apart from there on out; the mere event of Being Arrested would be traumatic for ME.
Comment by Wixenstyx — March 29, 2008 @ 1:42 am
[...] follow-up to the story I mentioned two posts [...]
Pingback by Follow Up | Mommy Points — March 29, 2008 @ 10:07 am
To me, I do not think she should be arrested for that. If it was hot, I might say different. She was in sight of the vechicle, and had the doors locked. The child was sleeping! I am not saying it’s okay to leave your children in the car all the time or when you go inside somewhere. That, I would call the police for! But, I think that is taking it to the extreme!
Comment by Meagan — April 5, 2008 @ 1:12 pm
So…how much longer until they start arresting people for putting shopping carts away?
Comment by Jenni — April 6, 2008 @ 4:12 pm
How comes that even though people turn (or be turned) into such self-righteous safety freaks there are still children around who are beaten or starved to death and nobody cares. It’s in their houses but boy, don’t leave a child in the car. Just offer help instead of being so bloody judgemental. If you see a child in the car, wait for the mother and offer help instead of criticism. You’re not a better mum for never leaving your kid out of your sight. There are other things to consider. But I bet it is something to talk about.
Comment by Nicole — April 7, 2008 @ 6:55 am
I do agree this particular mother should never have been arrested. I never left my son along in the car when he was younger. He now is 7 1/2 and will leave him for a very few minutes. I am from a very small town and so it is slightly more acceptable here. He get’s upset with me because I always make him go into stores with me but you never know who is out there watching and waiting for you to leave your child alone. I only do it (even thought he is almost
at a store that I can look out and still see him and my car and only for moments. I have read some of the comments and the story about the young children in the car for over an hour….that is why they laws are made. Some people can not accurately determin a safe setting for their children. Unfortunatly innocent people get caught in the crossfire, just like the lady from this story. Personally, I don’t want anyone telling me what to do with my child, however there are many parents that do not know how to take care of their children properly. It is sad and unfortunate but true.
Comment by Angie — April 7, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
Some how the Walmart employee managed to snoop around the car and make the phone call without her noticing. Does’nt sound like she was that close to me. I don’t believe for a minute this woman was a couple of feet from the car. If she was she would have told that employee to back away from the car that contained her sleeping baby and the story would be over. Think about the hundreds of people at Walmart from all walks of life everyday. There is a huge difference between a parking lot with hundreds of cars and your own driveway while you unload groceries and if you don’t see that you are making up excuses because you would rather not walk through a store with a cranky baby. Let’s be honest… is that about whats best for your child or whats convenient for you?
I am not saying her child should be taken from her for ever and ever, but perhaps the embarressment will prevent her (and lot’s of other people who need to stop making excuses) froom doing this again. Oh, and putting your cart back is not the same. I do that and the minute I saw an employee walking up to my car I would be yelling at them to step back BEFORE I CALLED THE POLICE.
Comment by Annie — April 8, 2008 @ 11:23 am
WOW!! I agree with the lady that commented about the shopping carts. I have three young boys, five and under. I put them in the van first, starting with the older one as he’s more apt to run while I’m strapping in his younger siblings into their respective car seats. But, once all the boys are in and the items I bought in the van, I have to walk possibly 10 feet to return a shopping cart. Should I be arrested too for trying to be polite and respectful. I’ll leave the stupid cart in the empty parking spot next to me now (if there is one). That’s ludicrous!!
This woman should not have been arrested. Her car was in her site at all times. It wasn’t like she left her toddler in the car to go do some shopping. Why is it that our judicial system is so bogged down with this kind of stuff while the children who really need help go ignored. *sigh*
Comment by Cheryl — April 8, 2008 @ 11:49 am
There was, indeed, more to the stories that I read about this situation.
In the very article you linked above, it says…”But that was long and far enough to land her in court after a police officer spotted her sleeping 2-year-old daughter alone in the vehicle”. That sounds like it was the police officer who spotted the child. In researching the story, I see that it was a Crestwood community service officer (whatever that is, but it doesn’t sound like a WalMart employee-I could be mistaken) who saw the child.
I am not a community service or police officer but if I was, and I saw an unattended car (meaning the owner was not clearly in sight), with a child inside, I would immediately wonder if something was amiss. Not in a judgemental way but concerned.
Secondly, I read a couple more articles about this that said she was not immediately arrested; that happened after she refused to talk to the officer, would not even tell the child’s name.
Again, I am not a police officer but if I was, and someone was resistant…I would be more suspicious than if someone was cooperative. That’s human nature; unfortunantly, we don’t have the ability to just KNOW (for a fact) who is “good” and who is “bad”, we only have our instincts (human nature) to guide us.
I’m not at all saying that the officer/s did not make mistakes in this case BUT, I believe the mother did, too.
It’s an unfortunantly event.
Comment by Anonymous — April 8, 2008 @ 2:44 pm