1) The crockpot is your friend.  Take-out is also.

2) So is a good calendar.

3) And a glass of wine with dinner.

4) That laughter is sometimes that only answer.

5) That letting your kids ________, will not cause the world to end.  (Fill in the blank with whatever is applicable for  your situation, options include: wear clothing instead of pajamas to bed, spend an entire day watching Disney channel, wear their hair in really stupid hairstyles…)

6) Friends who have the same parenting style and philosophy as you will replace friends that you thought you had much more  in common with.

7) Never say never.  You will. 

Make your words sweet, because you will have to eat them one day.  One of my friends says that the reason her backside is so large now after she had children is because she has had to eat so many of her own words.  

9) You will use tv as a babysitter. Or you will spend years without showering.  The call is yours.

10) There will be days when you think you are ready to sell the children to the gypsies and run as far away as fast as you can.  But just then they will go and do something so profoundly cute that you are forced to reconsider.  Until the next time.